Penny-wise Chicken store! 

I am a tale teller so I must warn you that this story is an apocryphal one as it is replenished with facts of questionable authenticity. Anyhow, I found myself in an unfamiliar situation the other day when I had an argument with a chicken after I had purchased it from a domestic fowl seller at the Penny-wise market in Crystal Palace - Upper Norwood. Indeed, it is pretty difficult to fear retribution from a chicken but a hot-headed one began to fight back the other day when I attempted to ring his neck to make food out of it. I was lost for words as the petulant bird had no intention of letting it happen as it would not let me near its feathers, let alone its neck. I chased it with resolution and determination all to no avail since I could not lay my hands on the bird. I was huffing and puffing as I ran out of energy but I kept my wit about me as I was very tired of being made a fool by the feathered one. Finally, I decided to give up on it and my thought moved me to a gutsy cut of beef that I had in the fridge. So I bone up on the beef and railed at the chicken once more as it traipsed into the living room leaving a trial of waste matter behind. Certainly, this chicken was not a poltroon for it had an attitude and plenty of courage to be called a faint-hearted one. I had no option than to clean after it; however, my patience was not inexhaustible and my frazzled edges were beginning to show with its bad manners as he kept messing the place without any consideration towards me. It was time to let it know that enough was enough and I showed it the door. It was a very welcome relief when it left the house but there was a potential fear that it might decide to return so I had to keep an eye and ear open just in case it would fly in. Good riddance, says I.

P. Figueras

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