A birthday most weeks?

Stan looks at the Mayor's diary and gets a shock:

"The Mayor's diary included 39 birthday parties for major birthdays 90+. Also 7 wedding anniversaries. Why would anyone want a Mayor to attend a birthday party or anniversary? Does he help blow the candles out, cut the cake or what? If I get to 90 I don't want some gilded lily I've never met having any of my cake. I want family and friends around me and if that's not possible I'll blow the bloody candles out myself. Or hire an escort to help me!"

Read more in Stan's column - including the costs - see menu.