Preparing to be a Woman
When do you go for FFS?
Many TS women delay the start of their RLE, until they have had Facial Feminisation Surgery, in the belief that it will make them into one.
FFS will not make you look like a woman, feel like a woman or be accepted as one.
It will help but looking like a woman comes from the inside. It is how you act and behave, your gestures, posture ,the way you talk and phrase things. There are many natal women with deep voices, masculine features, tall, fat, thin, etc. the physical divide between male and female can be very small and can even cross but you can still recognise them as male or female.
Why is that? Confidence, attitude, being bought up male or female. These things are learnt from birth. Being a woman is so much more than just looks. It is also important not to draw attention to yourself: in the way you dress, talk and present yourself.
TS women think that hormones and the surgeons knife will do this for you. This is where GIC specialists are often lacking.
They will talk to you about being a TS and identify the condition. In most cases, they do not have the knowledge or perception to tell you how or help you to be a woman. We have to learn this very quickly.
Counselling every three months is woefully inadequate, particularly in the early stages of your transitioning.
Some clinics insist that you commit yourself to your Real Life Experience, even before prescribing and giving the psychological support of female hormones. They often call it the Real Life Test. This is so wrong and shows a total lack of understanding and I would go as far as to say 'ignorance' by these so called 'specialists'. It is not a test. It is your opportunity to live, work and socialise as a woman before embarking on the final and wonderful stage of SRS surgery. It is so much harder without the support of HRT. No wonder why so many take the less safe and infinately more expensive route of self prescribing.
This was one of the reasons that I decided to become a stress therapist, specialising in helping TS women. I do not like blowing my own trumpet but I have successfully transitioned in a relatively short time, I am never read and have fully integrated into my local community. As Richard Curtis said to me 'one of the success cases'.
Yes, I have had Facial Feminising Surgery and a face-lift, I also had a hair transplant, but 6 months living my real-life experience, on hormones before any surgeries to allow for any facial effects from the hormones.
My advice would be to start to live full time and build your confidence and start to learn to be a woman. Do the things that are reversible if it turns out it is not right for you. Once you are certain that it is for life, then go for your FFS, as, by now you will know, or have a better idea of what you need and want.
Remember, the hormones, after a while will change your features, through altering the soft tissue.
You will not find out, living part time or dressing behind closed doors. You have to be able to live, work and socialise and be accepted in society.
Full transitioning takes a very long time. After starting your hormone regime, surgeries, electrolysis, you will continue maturing for many years. Girls take five years plus to go through puberty, why are we going to do it any quicker? We have to undo the changes caused by years of testosterone. You cannot rush it, neither should our gender specialists. they think that two years of hormone therapy are enough before putting you onto a maintenance dose. 8- 10 years on a higher level would not be too long.
Once you achieve that, it is so worthwhile. It is so wonderful being a woman. Natural women cannot appreciate just how special and what a priviledge it is to be a woman. There is so much more out there for us.
Live it and enjoy it. It is there for the taking.
