Local football pundit Mr A Smith was recently invited to a meeting of the Lochs Womens Guild to explain the off side rule.  Mr Smith struggled for some time to elucidate this simple rule.  A well prepared Mr Smith persevered, and with the aid of an overhead projector, DVD recordings of football matches showing the rule in action even taking the ladies on the short bus trip  to watch the Lochs Football team giving a live demonstration. However, the ladies still looked bemused.  After some time and well chosen words a clearly frustrated Mr Smith  then provided the ladies with the following analogy.

Picture this: you're in Billy France's butcher shop, second in the queue for the till.

Behind Billy on a hook is  a Black Pudding which you have seen and which you must have. The caileach in front of you has seen it also and is eyeing it with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be totally rude to push in front of the first caileach if you had no money to pay for the Marag. Your friend is at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma.She prepares to throw her purse to you. If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other caileach and buy the Marag.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, whilst it is in flight you could nip around the other Caileach, catch the purse and buy the Marag. Always remembering that untill the purse had actually been thrown it would be plain wrong to push in front of the other poor caileach.

At which point a voice was heard from the back, believed to be that of Mrs Smith shouting "why did you not say that in the first place?".