When helping someone actually stops them
by Neen Forder - 13:35 on 31 August 2015
We all like to help people, right?
Well I do. This sometimes means that I get so involved in the lives of my friends that I stop remembering to take time for me. What happens instead is I become the one they turn to and brain dump on. Recently I said to my best friend that I was sorry but I just can't do it anymore. She cried with relief. Because somehow we'd got caught up in the negative behaviour patterns together. Where I'd try to listen and fix her, and she'd come to me first, rather tha sit with things herself to get them fixed.
There are two ways this discussion could have gone. What has actually happened as a result of this conversation is we've both been much happier when we've spoken to each other, we've listened to each other more, been more honest and also my friend is learning to love having the power to make her life her own.
I hadn't really realised my part in co-creating this original negative pattern, but the strength of our friendship shows that we have been able to accept each other with love, and move on, whilst staying best of friends.
All we needed was a little honesty. Where have you not been completely honest with yourself or your loved ones recently?
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