Someone PLEASE Lock Him In The Tower - NOW !!!

by Craig Chapman - 17:11 on 23 December 2008

Gordon Brown's Christmas Message

Economy – Err, yes, I think we had one of those once.

Debt – Still rising as future taxes continue to be handed out like confetti 

Interest – That too !! 

Hope – You've got ME, how much better can it get ?

Pride – Replaced by arrogance, even when eyebrow-deep in the proverbial 

Democracy – Shut up you stupid people, you’ll vote when and how I say you can !! 

Children – At least they’ll grow up each knowing 37 languages 

Parents – Don’t worry about debt, just spend, spend, spend. Take my example and get another 7 visa cards 

Pensioners – Sod ‘em 

Workers – if they make things, then sod ‘em 

Women – look how many jobs I’ve created for you in my government in the last 10 years, now you have no choice but to vote for me.

Drivers – look how cheap I’ve made the fuel !! Yes Gordon, its less expensive than it has been recently, but its still not cheap as our taxes have to support your enormous government 

European Union – They’ll look after us now that I’ve saved the world for them and given them all your taxes 

Hospitals – if you don’t die from fudged figures, you’ll very quickly catch something else. We developed the post code lottery to save some people having to catch a second disease. 

Military – Don’t they make me look good 

Manufacturing – never heard of it !! 

Courts – We have the best in the world – I control them !! 

Royal Family – Yes, we’re doing very thank you. 

President Obama – Who ? Oh him, I thought he was here to paint or something

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