The Duel of the Buck Passers

by Craig Chapman - 07:51 on 12 May 2008

It has been an interesting week with Labour determined to tear themselves apart and the Tories begging them not to, as the government’s constant incompetence is the Tories best weapon. Talk about a revolution by default. This even dwarfs the Desert Rat's artificial, exploding camel poos for impact beyond expectation !!

Facts about John Prescott keeping order between his Tonyness and the McGordon really capture the imagination. Of course, our perfect scenario would have been a gentlemen’s duel at dawn. We’d see Prescott saunter out from the saloon, after his nineteenth breakfast and spit some chewing tobacco (or black pudding) into the gutter of Whitehall.

His Tonyness would engage his hunched-shoulders-because-I’m-walking-next-to-a real-Texan-called-George walk, knuckles poised, spin-doctor primed, wearing his most vivid Arran sweater.

The gleaming post box over the road, resplendent in the morning glow – oh, no, it’s Cherie – sorry, easy mistake, same shape hole !!

15 minutes late, sidewardly gulping for air in between dic-tats, minces McGordon (well he does have a very gay walk). He skips off the pavement and makes sure his cabinet have enough sharpened crayons to do his dirty work for him and that enough of them are slow enough movers to get caught in the act, so that he has someone to blame. Meanwhile his alibi is fully prepared in Falkirk and Caroline Flint is waiting at TV centre as a stage managed distraction, to sneer in that snotty tone of her's, that no-one else on the planet owns a single brain cell. 

Then, whizzing around the corner on his Raleigh bike comes Davey-Boy Cameron in his health & safety attire, just in time to park in between the adversaries. “You can’t shoot each other, I’ll have no policies and I'll be up against a newer face than mine !!"

Welcome to UK politics in the 2000s – a sorry joke !!!

Having said that, I am very encouraged by the noises coming from His Borisness. I truly hope that he follows through as he has started. The apalling and needless death of Jimmy Mizen shows exactly what breed of scum that Boris is taking on and we wish him well if zero tolerance policing and an end to multi-culturalism really are as high on his agenda as he suggests.

Perhaps the term "you can't educate pork" still stands, but you can certainly scare the living daylights out of it and to hell with the Liberal appeasers. Go get 'em Bo-Jo !! 

Moving “up north,” as the Southern based TV people describe the Midlands railway town of Crewe, the most likely candidate to win the forthcoming bi-election would be Polish, such is the size of their community in the town.

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