As someone who has to visit a chiropractor several times each year with spinal problems, I find the endless speed bumps and especially rumble strips across so many of our roads to be extremely uncomfortable, even when driving over them at half the designated speed permitted in that particular area. The sharp rumble strips create a jolt up my spine and into the back of my skull that feels like a knife being thrusted into my brain and the consequent headaches can last for days, causing dizziness and nausea.

 

Regular reports from ambulance staff and their patients state quite clearly that these highway mountains cause severe discomfort and often increased complications for injuries to many parts of the body. The practice of setting up drips and giving of injections is also greatly impeded.

 

Fire engines could arrive at many urban fires up to 10 minutes quicker were they not pussyfooting their way through an assault course of speed bumps with a top-heavy vehicle carrying a limited load of water.

 

Bus passengers, particularly the elderly, find it hard enough to reach their seats, staggering along the aisles, without being led to believe that they have just entered Blackpool (not) Pleasure Beach.

 

My chiropractor has written several articles on how the jolting causes so much pain and discomfort for so many of his patients and impedes recovery. There have even been a couple of cases of people fainting from the jolt and crashing their cars.

 

A recent visit to Leamington Spa in Warwickshire had me believing that I had arrived in a Gestapo torture chamber. The road into town from the M40 has ridiculous rumble strips that feel like all 4 tyres in my car have burst simultaneously, then to arrive in a town where almost every road is like a visit to Alton Towers, whilst at sea in a force 9 gale with enormous waves every twenty feet.

 

How can they refer to such devices as traffic calming ? They drive me bonkers.

I can understand to a certain point that a couple outside a school maybe a good idea, but the school-run, Chelsea Tractor 4x4s sail over them at whatever speed they wish, whilst the rest of us risk accumulative damage to our cars at every hump. I also question how much control we have over our breaks when our suspension is being bounced around and jolted. Perhaps the aim is shake apart the cars that have avoided their MOTs ?

 

So why do so many councils opt for these measures ?

 

We do have an army of indisciplined, speed hungry drivers out there, obviously incapable of reading slow down signposts and speed restriction signs – certainly there are the hot-hatch, boomer-speaker brigade who simply roar along in between speed bumps and then creep over them to avoid smashing their lowered chassis and blue bling lights onto the tarmac.

 

I know that speed cameras are unpopular and receive more flack for collecting revenue than they do for praise for slowing down traffic, but at least they do their job and slow down the traffic. Perhaps those who incur penalties are same ones who speed between speed bumps or sail over them regardless ? Touch wood, I have not yet been caught, though I do keep to speed limits as much as I can. Maybe this is a situation where the proceeds from certain speed cameras could help fund local youth clubs, hospital wards, etc or the like. Would that change people's perceptions of them ?

 

I'm sure that we would all gladly see the constant speeders taken off the road through consecutive fines and penalty points, with long breaks before they can apply for L plates and 6 months of full-price driving lessons again.

The resulting safer and not-so-crowded roads would be a benefit to all, meanwhile I and many others, might get through a week’s driving without feeling like we’ve been attacked by sumo wrestlers.