OK, we take a break from the World Athletics Championships in Osaka for a moment, to review a few sporting events taking place closer to home.

 

First, we’re off to Witney in Oxfordshire to meet Great Britain’s new Toe Curling champion, Davey-Boy Cameron.

 

“So Davey-Boy, we’re led to believe that Toe Curling has been carried on for centuries but only recently have events enabled participants to excel so greatly. Please do tell us more about this sport, can anyone compete or does it take years of neutering ?”

 

“Well, I must confess to some additional tuition during my recent visit to Rwanda where the rule of law has been thrown out with the bath water so to speak, for many years, but yes, backtracking and emitting confusing, inconsistent signals are the prime skills required by a premier league Toe Curler. Also, at this time of year, the winds across the Rwandan Plains do change direction on a daily basis and this helped me to achieve previously unclimbed levels of Toecurlability.

 

For example, let me remind you, I came out, hand on heart a few months back and truly believed that our inner cities require an enormous dose of peace and love. The changes in climate over especially the last 25 years have seen a huge growth in the Greater Hooded Yobbie (also known as Largerus Maximus) population, mostly due to giving out the most inconsistent signals possible in outstanding Toe Curling style, and I have taken a fundamental honour in being able to experience this as I’ve progressed onwards and upwards, encouraging and embracing it at every possible juncture.

 

Now as I stand before you today in my shiny new sponsored Toe Curling boots, I would like to go on record in declaring that the Greater Hooded Yobbie is in dire need of acceptable behaviour boundaries and stricter upbringing.”

 

“Well, folks, there you have it, Davey-Boy Cameron performing an outstanding Toe Curler for you all, there is truly nothing like a whole series of inconsistent messages to impose a lethal dose of Liberal Anarchy across a nation.

 

OK, over to another sport, though I must stress that this more of a none-participation activity, we take a look at the noble art of Nambi-Pambi. The aim is to line up against your enemies on facing hillsides and tremble at the knees. The key moment that determines victory is when the losers perform the Mingus Mingus manoeuvre which entails soiling your underwear, turning around and running away with tears running down the cheeks, screaming “its not fair, they were wearing pointy hats and I was frightened.” This noble art is a great favourite amongst civil servants and those who can’t really be bothered.

 

Just quickly, as we’re running out of time following Davey-Boy’s hogging of the microphone, our last couple of sporting insights, before we take you back to Osaka, is a quick look at Lordery and Kitty Fiddling.  Errr, no, the Director of News at the BBC has just screamed in my ear piece, we shall be cutting this sporting bulletin short.

 

Back to Osaka then…..”

 

 

 

Seriously though, the above bit of fun reflects the big problems with our 3 main political parties. The Tories brought in most of the changes regarding discipline and acceptable levels of behaviour and responsibility during the 1980s and early 1990s. Disciplinary measures were taken away in schools, more power was given to ambulance chasing lawyers and the dawn of the dreaded Liberally minded social worker was encouraged.

 

Labour continued this liberalisation throughout the Blair years, where some of the most confusing signals were thrown about, both by changing laws backwards and forwards and by inconsistent judges within our courts.

 

The main achievement is to invent an excuse for any kind of bad behaviour and to shift blame upon the victim almost every time. This has given an invincible power to those who wish to bully, damage, abuse, threaten, steal, maim, kill or create whatever version of mayhem and anarchy that they wish. Meanwhile, our government has so many versions of figures on hand that they can pretend to hide behind every time they are accused of letting people get away all of these travesties of justice. The fact that the Tories and Lib-Dems are themselves, also stuck in this change with the wind mode has resulted in Labour getting away with endless mistakes and still lead the opinion polls. 

 

The Popular Alliance will stop this nonsense once and for all, with a black and white approach. The grey areas and shirking of responsibility will cease and if it takes zero tolerance policing to redress the balance then so be it.

 

Those who have nothing to hide will embrace this.