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Neil Welton Has Met: David Attenborough, Kevin Whately, PM Gordon Brown, Tony Benn, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Sir Michael Parkinson, Eric Sykes, Nicholas Parsons, Anita Harris, Kate Hoey, Neil With Glenys Kinnock, John Smith, John With Pauline Prescott, Sarah Mills, Susan Hampshire, Leslie Thomas, Russ Abbot, Jimmy Tarbuck, Brian Murphy, Norman Eshley, Michael Craig, Nigel Havers, Sara Edwards Sir Dai Llewellyn, Bonnie Langford, Jeffrey Holland, Melvyn Hayes, Carol Barnes, Jon Snow, Peter Mandelson, Michael Foot, Sir Nicholas Winterton, Roy Hattersley, Nigel Farage, Vicki Michelle, Peter Sissons, Afron Haines-Davies (Wales) And Members Of The Royal Family - At Home And Abroad
("When I was younger so much younger than today." Dr Neil Welton has advised many celebrities over the years.
In a way his life has been one long 'Magical Mystery Tour'. For the more his reputation grew the more he got to know celebrities. Neil looked 'a little bit like this' in early 1990s.)
Dr Neil Welton 🎥 An Exclusive Interview 📺 Roderic Noble Actor Roderic Noble kindly granted an exclusive interview with Dr Neil Welton to help celebrate the release of Oscar winning film Nicholas And Alexandra. The actor renowned for powerful and moving performance as Tsarevich Alexei Nikolaevich Romanov in the 1971 classic - also starred as Michael Kelly in 1970's television series The Main Chance. Roderic's acting was such he was even praised by Variety Magazine with one critic saying he was 'simply wonderful'. Who could disagree with that? Especially all the ladies out there who could not control themselves and sent fan mail! Therefore as you can imagine the ladies were devastated and bereft when, in the early 1970s, this bedroom poster pin up decided to quit acting and to live in the real world.
(Roderic Noble starred in The Main Chance back in 1972) Yet they would never be defeated. How they searched for him over the ensuing decades. Longing for another peek. Clinging to their tear stained posters. By the time of the development of Betamax, VHS and then DVD it was too late to satisfy their pent up demand. They wouldn't rest. How could they? For he had completely disappeared and without a trace! It got so bad one lady even contacted a Doctor. Dr Neil Welton - The New Saint Returns (Again). Indeed it is nornally The Saint who is fighting off all the ladies but he knows when he is beat. He knows when to bow. Especially when a lady says: "I love you Neil but I can't stop thinking about him." The Saint happy to help. ______________________________________________ The Life And Times Of Dr. Neil Welton (The Saint Returns) International Troubleshooter - International Troublemaker Based loosely on the character created by Leslie Charteris. Rumoured to have been Blessed by The Heavens. Blessed even by the angels above themselves. The Saint Returned. The Saint Returns (2008) Episode 4 - The Cartel Of Death We've met again, Mr Templar. Welcome to my home. How kind of you to break into it. This man they call "The Saint". You certainly know how to put the 'moron' into oxymoron. We also have a most unpleasant habit of meeting. Indeed I am beginning to find you irritating, Mr Templar. Do you know though all the 'saints' who have ever tried to live on Earth have one single thing in common. They are all dead. And very soon you will be joining them, Mr Templar. Take him away! Ensure I never ever again have to set eyes on the sneaky and devious Simon Templar. 'Title Sequence'.
(The Stick Man holding Neil's favourite drink in left hand) _______________________________________________ The Private Diary Of Dr. Neil Welton - Aged Six To Sixteen (including The Seven Lessons which Dr. Welton has learnt) Age 6: I've got myself embroiled in 'The Great Sports Day Conspiracy'. At the start of race in which I'm the favourite to win, I am "accidentally tripped over" by a boy who said that he wants "to help his friend win". His friend wins and all the parents cheer and clap. I complain to teacher then I'm told "in sport sometimes we win, sometimes we lose". She does not mention "cheat". I am devastated but learn Important Life Lesson: How to manipulate 'events' behind the scenes in order to get exactly what it is I want - while playing it all innocent like. Just like dear Francis Urquhart.
(Dr. Welton went on to advise two British Prime Ministers) Just like Brexit. Indeed I barely contain my sheer joy and laughter when I learn both Sports Day cheats are ardent Remainers. Lesson Number Two: Revenge is a tasty dish best served cold, timely and all innocent like. (Jun 1980). Age 7: Teacher tells us to paint a picture of someone we like, love or admire. Everybody else in the class paints a family member, friends or pets. I decide to curry favour with the Headmaster and do portrait of him. By time I've finished his left eye is where his chins should be, and his nose is where his forehead should be. It looks just like a Turner Prize entry. I show it to the teacher and, like me, she finds it extremely difficult not to burst into laughter. To my horror she then says: "What a wonderful painting! Go and show it to the Headmaster." I'm a bit petrified but begin neverending journey to his foreboding big blue door.
(Age 7 Neil's painting of Headmaster was like a Picasso) To my utter astonishment he asks: "Who is it?" Can't he recognise himself? When I tell him he smiles broadly and offers me a sweetie from his sweetie jar. "Take a few", he insists. Lesson Three: Always 'creepy and crawlies' around those in "power" in order to get what it is you want - even if you do not like this idea of "power" or somebody having "power". Extend this to politics. Lesson Four: Always allow a vain and idiotic politician to receive all the applause and credit - when implementing all "your" brilliant policy ideas. A 'vain and idiotic politician' need not be a Prime Minister. Age 9: On a funny April Fool's Day I get caught up in 'The Astonishing Whoopee Cushion Scandal Of 1983'. A fellow pupil sneaks in a Whoopee Cushion to use against one of our teachers. However he is too afraid to actually use it. The young Saint steps into the breech (with daring do as always) to save the day. With Whoopee Cushion in place teacher walks in and spends ten minutes waffling before actually sitting down. When he does so the sound is such the entire class bursts into laughter. For some reason the teacher does not find it "hilarious" and demands answers. Thankfully everybody forgets my involvement and blame the boy who has brought in the Purple Whoopee Cushion. Lesson Five: If you have been found out or are in danger of being found out, you begin ever so gently to point the finger at somebody else. Do all this via subtle suggestion. Age 10: I am caned and given 'six-of-the-best' for "cheek, insolence and backchat". Why try to change a habit of my lifetime? Would lovely Brexit have happened? Indeed it is also worth noting that about this time a teacher notices I am left-handed and declares to the entire classroom that it is "the sign of The Devil". As you can imagine The Saint was left confused as to whose side he was on. (Apr 1984). Age 11: I have to play Buttons in school production which involves singing I'll Do Anything (from the 1960's musical Oliver!) to Cinderella. I am irritated to be "typecast" once again. A man with 'unrequited love issues' who only goes on to see his 'beloved' marry somebody else. (Dec 1984). Age 12: I sing solo bit of carol In The Bleak Midwinter at Cathedral. Lord Lieutenant, a Lord Mayor and actual Lord look most impressed. "Absolutely Heavenly." "Is Neil the new Aled Jones?" "You have Bottle to do it." (Dec 1986).
(Age 12 Neil's Cathedral solo was 'as good as Aled Jones')
Age 13: I win 'school songwriting competition' (Apr 1987). "I come home at quarter to four. I see you standing at my front door. Your first kiss was warm and mild. Your second kiss just drove me wild. Yeah! Same Things happen all the time. Strange feelings deep inside. Same thing happen all the time. Strange feeling." First song I write Same Things. However a close friend who plays music with me, sings in the choir with me and wants to write songs with me, goes insanely jealous when the song is performed in assembly in front of the entire school. He terminates our friendship with immediate effect and begins to pester teacher about "doing Beatles solo" in front of the entire school. Envious middle-class twerp! However as you can all imagine I am most amused when he sings I Am A Loser by The Beatles. How sad that our blossoming partnership should end this way. How said that I have had this glittering career while he, well, what was that name again? Lesson Six: Always be nice to people when they are on the way up. You just never know what they will do to you when they get there.
(Age 13 Neil's first Lennon/McCartney music partnership) Age 14: My school reports begin to suggest I'm not going to get on in this life. One teacher says: "Neil likes nothing more than playing The Devil's Advocate. Trouble is he just does not know when to stop." How perceptive! Yet another fan club member, the Maths teacher, goes further: "Neil is conscientious and hardworking. He is also thoughtful, kind and caring towards the other boys. Qualities and attributes which mean he's likely to be successful on 'whatever' path he chooses." Lesson Seven: Is it not funny how the people who say you will not amount to much have not amounted to much themselves? Don't they own a mirror? (Jul 1988). Age 15: Launch book Thin Ice with David Kitchen and as result I appear in school magazine and the national press. My appearance causes resentment and also snide remarks from peers. Another example of 'middle-class envy'? I am beginning to discover my personality and character really grates with some people and annoys them. LOL! For they are confusing me with somebody who "gives a fig". David goes on to sell over 50 books. I mean publish. (Oct 1990).
(Age 15 Neil is confused with somebody who "gives a fig") Age 16: I bow before Prince William during his visit to this school. I can't quite believe I am doing this and spend five seconds looking at his shoes. He is aged around eight and boys of his own age are bowing down to him. I imagine he can't quite believe his 'luck' and is enjoying it. (Mar 1991).
(Don't bother looking I'm not in any of the photographs!)
Educated at Cardiff and Oxford University (1993 - 1998). That keyboard player in British pop group (1994 - 1997). Adviser to Tony Blair and Rowan Williams (1995 - 1998). Appear on Eligible Bachelors Blind Date TV Show (1996). Rumours begin I've drowned in a tragic accident (1996).
Asked whether I want to be 'new Simon Templar' (1996). (Be under no illusions I've been trained to kill in real life). Officer Cadet and Officer in Royal Artillery (1997 - 2001).
Invite to meet Prince William again in Cardiff (Jan 2000). Taught at number of independent schools (2001 - 2004). Invited to meet The Queen at Windsor Castle (Oct 2001).
Working for blue chip company London (2004 - present). Leader of Constitutional 'Monarchy Wales' (2006 - 2015). Fans create 'The Neil Welton Wikipedia Page' (Nov 2006). Dr Welton appears in new book Royal Wales (Sept 2010). Dr Welton appears in article in The Daily Post (Apr 2011). Dr Welton has appeared in South Wales Echo (Apr 2012). Dr Welton newspaper article in Western Mail (Apr 2012). Dr Welton appears in article in The Daily Mail (Apr 2012). Spokesman of the Wales Brexit Campaign (2014 - 2016). Investigated over Brexit "links to Kremlin" (2017 - 2018). Brexit Adviser 'Wales' to PM Boris Johnson (2019 - 2021). The Brexit is delivered after much resistance (Dec 2021). Chairman and Spokesman of Brexit Wales (2016 - 2021). Compiled a new CD Welton: Retrospective (2020 - 2021). A lay preacher in The Church of England (2021 - present). Writing book Public Schools: Class Apart (2021 - present). Served on the Platinum Jubilee Committee (2021 - 2022). Invite to meet The King at Llandaff Cathedral (Sept 2022).
______________________________________________ The Most Asked Questions That Are Sent Via This Website: 1. Will your 1990's pop group be having big reunion soon? Neil: "No. We're all middle aged. It would look ridiculous." 2. Why did you campaign for Brexit? It's upset "the fans". Neil: "I wanted to save the working class from a calamity. But they had calamity anyway. Events dear boy, events." 3. What is your favourite greatest song of all time ever? Neil: "Walk Away by Matt Monro. Said that many times." 4. What is your favourite hymn from those school days? Neil: "Turning World Upside Down (From Come Praise)."
(Dr. Welton's favourite childhood book was a Dahl classic)
5. How did it feel when you were accused of Kremlin link? Neil: "Shocked. Also quite amusing. Politicians panicking!" 6. Why did you betray Labour and become Tory scumbag? Neil: "Brexit. Corbyn. Policies. Agenda. Need I say more? Think you shall find that Labour changed rather than me." 7. Will you go back to Labour now it is New Labour again? Neil: "For me it's never about party but all about policies." 8. Is it true you were lovingly kissed by Sir Dai Llewellyn? Neil: "Yes. I did not mind at all. The pleasure was all his." 9. Is it true you did jitterbugs with wife of John Prescott? Neil: "Nope. Are you trying to have me killed by Prescott? LOL. But I did watch John jitterbugging with wife Pauline." 10. Is it true you are married to daughter of an aristocrat? Neil: "Married? Are you trying to wreck my public image?" 11. Did you have an intimate relationship with Kate Hoey? Neil: "Slept on her couch. We shared a breakfast. Honest!" 12. Did you go to audition for The Saint Returns in 2008? Neil: "Yes. I had to actually. I nearly did not get the part." 13. Did you go to audition to become new Milk Tray Man?" Neil: "Thought about it. But didn't. I was too old by then." 14. When did you first realise that you were now famous? Neil: "When I got anonymous green ink hate mail in post." 15. What is it like meeting Royalty and other celebrities? Neil: "No big deal really. They are just like me. And you." ______________________________________________ Dr. Welton's Most Favourite Musings. Amen To All Of This. John 15 verse 14 - John 16 verse 4 (The New Testament) Two Corinthians 4 verse 16 - 5 verse 10 (New Testament) John 14 verse 15 - John 14 verse 31 (In New Testament) A Lover Since Childhood (Great Poem By Robert Graves) Softly As I Leave You (Very Moving Ditty By Matt Monro) Warm And Beautiful (A Melodic Song By Paul McCartney) Going Back (A Song That Was Sung By Dusty Springfield) All Things Bright And Beautiful (A Most Marvellous Hymn) The Lord And Father Of Mankind (Most Marvellous Hymn) The Lord Of The Dance (Another Mostly Marvellous Hymn) That "Official" Neil Welton EU Referendum Campaign Song ______________________________________________ ⚠ Danger! 💀 'After Death Experiences' 💀 Risk To Life! ⚠ 'The following story is true. It is as true as it is fantastical. These events did happen. The photos have been added for dramatic effect. May it all serve as a warning to you about indulging your curiosity. Dabbling into "the unknown". The "supernatural". For I have barely lived to tell this tale. For I've been judged, condemned and cursed by my curiosity. What I have seen is simply extraordinary, astonishing and amazing. But also 'terrifying'. I'll leave it there. You have Bibles. Make sense of it. Not for my sake - but for yours.' ______________________________________________ What Exactly Did Happen At Cardiff University Laboratory Dr Neil Welton, theologian and metaphysician, searching for a way to "tap into the hidden mysteries of mankind".
Soddenly 'a series of bizarre and freak accidents' alters his psychology and outlook - and now when Neil Welton grows angry or outraged a quite startling metamorphosis occurs.
(Dr Welton collapes after being accused of Kremlin links)
(Dr Welton finally snaps on hearing MPs will block Brexit)
(Under duress Dr Welton relives 'after death experiences'. But he does not change into the not so jolly green giant.) During the course of these freak accidents Dr Welton also experienced a number of "after death experiences" which change his life forever - and continue to haunt him today.
(Journalist stunned as Welton laughs off Brexit concerns)
(Western Mail journalist confronts Dr Welton about Brexit) The creature is driven by intense rage and is pursued by a Western Mail investigative reporter. However journalist is unaware Dr Welton has had 'after death experiences' and that he changes into the creature. "Don't make me angry about that Brexit. You wouldn't like me when I am angry".
Dr Welton has been accused of being a part of a Russian spy ring he was never a part of. Dr Welton is believed to have died in a tragic drowning accident thirty years ago. His body was never found and he is "missing presumed dead". It is said he has been replaced by somebody else. A man called Iain Andrew who has taken up his identity.
Therefore Dr Welton is believed to be dead and he must now make the world think that he is dead - until he can find a way to resolve the hidden mysteries (Earthly and Heavenly) which have been clearly made known to him. ______________________________________________ Dr. Welton Is A Capricorn. What Exactly Does This Reveal? Since the dawn of time wise men have often looked to the Heavens and, in particular, the big stars when looking for 'guidance, understanding and knowledge'. So it is with Dr Neil Welton. Let's see what he has discovered stargazers! For those born beneath tenth sign of the Zodiac are often characterised as 'ambitious, self-confident and disciplined'. Not only do "Capricorns" have immense desire to succeed but they also have the means to get to the top - and stay there! Indeed it is believed the Capricorns make excellent athletes, gymnasts and runners. It is not surprising many self-made success stories involve a Capricorn protagonist.
(Dr. Welton admits personal relations "not strong point" but is in good company when it comes to determination, self-confidence and the discipline and power to succeed!) An instinctive knowledge of power, combined with single minded determination, can sometimes be too detrimental. Especially to those around them. Even though Capricorns have a penchant for grumbling, they also possess a sense of humour that's either "offbeat, unusual or most bizarre". As a result they are often regarded as "nutty", "crackers" and "fruitcakes". Dr Welton is therefore in good company then, especially as "other famous Capricorns" include Sir Isaac Newton, Rudyard Kipling, JRR Tolkien, Elvis Presley, Martin Luther King Jr and, of course, one Muhammad Ali. ______________________________________________ Welton: Retrospective (1987 - 2022) Discography The CD Disc One or CD One: 1. Same Things 2. A Real Guarantee 3. Give Us Peace (1987 All Analogue Digitally Remastered) 4. At Home 5. Why? 6. On The Hill Top (1995 Remastered) 7. Our Time 8. Promises Promises 9. Now (2000 Remixed) 10. Rather You Than Me 11. Hold Me Close, Hold Me Tight 12. You Win Some You Lose Some 13. Fakes And Phoneys 14. No Regrets 15. Rendezvous With Danger (Film Score) Disc Two or CD Two: 1. Who's Fooling Who 2. Never Again 3. The Saint Returns (TV Series) 4. My Damsel In Distress 5. Fight To A Finish 6. A Different Kind Of You 7. No Going Back 8. Street Light Serenade 9. Dynamite (2007 Remix) 10. Bitter Love 11. Bit Of Hope 12. Just Codswallop (2012 Remastered) 13. There's This Rainbow (2020) 14. All Our Yesterdays (2021) 15. Your Black Sheep (1977 Childhood Tape Digitally Remastered) (Release Date: Autumn 2022) From CD Booklet: Welton: Retrospective is an opportunity to reassess one of the greatest, and some may say rather controversial, songwriters of his generation. Whether it be the teenage love angst of Same Things, the dramatic and dynamic synth pop classic On The Hill Top, or that mellow and ever wistful All Our Yesterdays (a brand new track for this album). The days of the boy next door and screaming fans may be long gone - but here is something for mature listeners to listen too. To reminisce. For surely there is no denying the value, merit and importance of his solo work. _______________________________________________ (Dr. Welton is writing a book 'Public Schools: Class Apart')
(Over the decades public schools have come under threat)
(Some say they are unjust and perpetuate class privilege)
(Yet in the next generation more are attending than ever) ______________________________________________ Public Schools: Class Apart (Release Date: Autumn 2024) Harmless And Innocuous - On riverbank at Eton on Fourth of June it might still be 1913. Where privilege is an article of faith and there is a common belief in the rightness of the social set up. Where the antics of the ruling class are still looked upon as a source of pride. For the ceremonies of the fourth of June are 'tribal' and not directed outward. They serve to intensify a group feeling. A sentimental and a nostalgic occasion whose message seems to be, not only what was always done at Eton still is done and always will be, but a hint that the confident world in which these river rituals once had a significance for the whole British tribe may not have gone forever. They may still save us yet from the consequences of comprehensive education and the direct threat from meritocracy. Anchored in tradition and certainty. These rituals of our past. Hierarchy. Rank. History. Duty. Ceremony. Service. And, of course, Class.
(Dr. Welton is carrying out research into public schools) Envy And Invidiousness - So you might see more clearly something of the inherent beauty of Eton. That you may know what a wonderful heritage comes to all those who belong to Eton and to whom Eton belongs. That you may know what a glorious thing it is to be allowed to serve in such a place as this. A place in which we sow all sorts of seeds into the minds and the spirits of the boys. Some will blossom. Some won't. Even though the average boy in any school will claim no interest in it. Or may feel that pang of envy, resentment and hatred toward it. Eton is continually and most eagerly renewed. By each and every generation.
______________________________________________ They once cruelly laughed at him. They do not laugh now. International Troubleshooter - International Troublemaker 🌟 Adventure 🌟 Excitement 🌟 Glamour 🌟 (Neil Welton) 🌟 Dr. Smoothie - Meddlesome Maverick - Mysterious Elusive A Life Timeline: Composer, Author And Reluctant Politician 'Public Schools: A Class Apart' and 'Welton: Retrospective' © Neil Welton (2022) Except 'Now' (Davidson/Welton)