Round 6; the weather forecast was at odds – some saying a good drying day, others predicting we would be p..s wet through by lunchtime! I left home in Howden at 7.30 and it was slashing down but, when I got to Birkwood, it wasn’t raining. Providence has so far smiled upon us and we have only suffered a few minor showers through the whole winter league – I hope my saying this doesn’t see the weather deteriorate for the remaining matches.
Only one regular league member was missing today; Big Martin was in Mexico for his son’s wedding. Kids eh? Mick Webb stood in. Welcome back Glenn from his Christmas and New Year sojourn in Spain and on the banks of the Ebro!
Up for the draw and peg 14 is pulled out for me and 2 for Eric. Neither have much form so we were really chuffed. Dave Parker picks 16, and not for the first time. He seems to have set up camp between 3 and 16. He has now been on these pegs for 5 of the 7 matches we have fished so far (including the Christmas Knack-Up). Other favoured pegs are draw by Mick (3), Alan (4) and 2E (13). Most of the other pegs that have coughed up occasional good weights have shown more varied form.
Byron Baggins draws 22 – and then starts moaning (actually I don’t think he’s stopped since the last match or even the beginning of the series!!). “I just want to catch nice little roach not horrible brown vermin. Why can’t I have a nice roach peg?” and so on……and so on………..!
We kick off at 10. It doesn’t take long for BB to latch into his first carp…….brown vermin…….moan…….no roach……..moan…….more moan – then another carp – even more moan………!
2E has only set up three rods on peg 13 – no pole. From now on he has sacrificed the title The Spod God for Two-Rods 2E (three rods doesn’t sound right and we already have Three Turds Thommo!). His tactics have also produced a small carp. Odd carp are being nicked elsewhere, Geoff on 23, Three Turds on 1 and Ben on 11. The Knacker Tapper is also getting one or two from peg 16. From conversations across the water we are led to believe he was catching these from Byron’s peg but similar feedback suggested Byron was catching his carp from Mr Parkers!!!
Three Turds is now regularly in action as his rod bends into another fish, so is Byron and The Knacker Tapper. “Only one winner today” calls Byron “well fished Dave”, aiming his comments at Three Turds. Byron is admitting to about 20lbs! “They’re all small fish” he bleats!
Time called at 3 and weigh-in commenced about half past. First up was Andy Beech with a very creditable all-silvers net of 16lbs 8oz from 28. Next came Three Turds, who tipped nearly 40lbs on the scales. “That should win it!!” – no need to guess who said that! As the scales progressed there were some very good silver nets – Mick with 21lbs from 3 (18lbs silvers), Craig with 25lbs 8ox from 5 (19lbs 8oz of silvers) and several other double figure nets including a 20lbs plus from Ryan on peg 18 (I must point out that Ryan caught every fish from his own peg!!!). But prior to that Mr Parker put exactly 40lbs on the scales to put Three Turds into turd (sorry, third overall) by 2oz!!
Then the scales got to peg 22 and Byron was still moaning!! Out came his net, which promptly bottomed the scales and so two or three fish had to be removed. After two weighs – YES, TWO WEIGHS – the diminutive demon took section A and the match with 60lbs 8oz. Knacker was second in A, Three Turds won B with Craig second while Ben took section C with a surprising net of 23lbs 8oz from peg 11 – surprising as it contained only half a pound of silvers. Paul Brown took second spot in C with and all silvers 16lbs 13oz. C proved the most even section on the day with two more 16 pluses, a 15 and a 12.
Now the league will start to take more shape as we progress to the next round. See you then
Des
Additional: I am pleased to announce that the league will shortly have two more sponsored anglers following my deal last year with the makers of sportsman’s incontinence pants – “if you go, on the go, you don’t need to squat like Paula”. Three Turds Tommo has been offered an amazing deal with Dyno-Rod. A spokesman for the company said “after his tremendous showing and fortitude during the Christmas Knack-Up we felt it only right to reward Dave with a sponsorship deal. We really want to take the strain on his behalf!!” Dave is said to be delighted and has already received his first set of drain rods.
Byron is in the throes of negotiating a deal with Mothercare. This may take a week or two but we can all look forward to seeing him on the bank sometime soon in his new waterproof and thermal romper suit. Mothercare just need to replace the bunny patterns with fish so it is more appropriate to Byron’s hobby!!
Shock of the day: Mr Parker said that he had been extraordinarily quiet during this match, unusually quiet for him. Thank goodness then that Roger and Mark F, who were drawn either side of him should only need minor medical attention to rectify the damage to their hearing!!!!
