Match Reports 2014/15
Birkwood Farm Knacker Tappers Winter League – Round 1 - 9th Nov 2014
Here we are again back at Birkwood for the second Knacker Tappers Winter League and it just seems like weeks ago we were here last, not 12 months! We welcome back those who sought fortune last season at Lindholme; Superstar, MMA and The Hippo, we welcome back CPO Harvey RN, who couldn’t fish with us last year as he had a job to do for HM in the Middle East, and good to see the two Micks, messrs. Webb and Pegg, joining the league after fishing so much with us previously. We also welcome two new members, Danny Bennet (one ‘t’ and no relation) and Mick Robinson, friend of the chief Knacker Tapper hisself! Hope you all enjoy the fishing, the banter and being alongside like-minded lunatics of no fixed abode!!
Weather good, winds light to North Southerly, sun from various directions, coldish but still pleasant. Warning new lads: not a typical Birkwood day. You may get to experience the Birkwood breeze!!!!!
One small change was noted on the pond; last year Dick removed the cages and this year a tape has appeared that spans the water from between pegs 3 and 4 across to 15/15A at a height of about 6 feet above the surface. Allegedly this has been put in place to stop Ryan casting to peg 22 if ever he should draw 10, 11, 12 or 13 but I think this is just a nasty rumour put about by those of a jealous persuasion. Ignore it Ryan!!!!!
After much debate before yesterday, the sections for the first three matches were decided as follows:
A will be pegs 2, 3, 15, 15A, 16, 22 and 23
B will be pegs 1, 4, 5, 12, 13, 17 and 18
C (the silver fish only section!!!!!!!) will be pegs 28, 6, 7, 10, 11, 14 and 21
And this year we return to section rotation.
Everyone had paid on by 8.30 and so to the draw. Three-Turds drew a peg first for me (peg 1 – I like peg 1), for Eric (my erstwhile assistant) peg 23 (reasonable) then for Mick Pegg (who was on his way and only told there was a vacancy at 8.10!) he pulled out peg 4. Some notable others: Superstar drew 21, MMA pulled 3 (last week’s winning peg!!), top peg 22 went to Geoff and other carp fliers went to the Knacker Tapper (15), Squirrel (15A) and Alan (16). Byron was sort of happy on peg 5 as it meant he could fish for his beloved roach and not have to fish for the brown vermin!! J Harvey RN and Webby were also happy on roach pegs. Ryan drew 11 and muttered something about how was he going to get carp from peg 22 over that damn tape but that was all nasty rumour.
We kicked off at 10 to fish till 3.05 with a pause at 11 for two minutes silence as this was Remembrance Sunday. We did the same last year and, just as last year, I had my first bite and carp on at two minutes to eleven! Only difference last year I was on peg 15, today peg 1 (I like peg 1).
Before that, however, and Geoff was into the first carp of the day from 22. Then Superstar got one on 21. Chris, this is a silver peg and you are not supposed to catch carp from peg 21, not in numbers anyway!!
At this point in the match (and, in fact, at any point!), Byron had not had a bite. Some doubt was cast around the pond as to the veracity of this remark. A comment was made that Oscar Pistorious sounded more truthful than Byron. Then Elvis chipped in “well he’s taller than Byron, even when he’s not wearing his prosthetic legs”. Several splashes were heard as several fell in, laughing. Nice one Elvis!
Carp were beginning to be caught at various points around the pond. Mr Holmes and Mr Beardsmore were finding a few on pellet waggler, Mick Pegg was catching in 4 and Mick Robbo had found some in peg 7!!! They only go there for their holidays!!! The Knacker Tapper was also catching on peg 15 as was The Squirrel and Alan. Then, horror of horrors, poor Byron latched into one in peg 5. Didn’t we all feel sorry for him with a 4 ½ lb fish that was worth about 40 roach!
So came the end of round one and the weigh in. The proceedings started with The Hippo who put an all roach catch of nearly 16lbs on the scales from 28. Me next on peg 1 (I like peg 1) and after spending almost all of the match looking for carp I put 3 on the scales for less than 9lbs and 4lbs plus of silvers. Total 13lbs dead. I USED to like peg 1. As the scales proceeded Byron was assailing all and sundry – “I’ll be last in section, I ain’t got a weight, been battered, might as well give up now……” and on, and on. Didn’t we hear this every match last year? Yep!!!
Danny Bennet (one ‘t’, no relation) came next with nearly 20lbs but we have a new superstar – cries of “well drawn Martin” with over 55lbs. Mick next door had fished for carp and had nearly 29lbs but poor Byron could only manage just shy of 26lbs – after fishing for roach. Mr, “I’ll be last in section” actually came in THIRD.
G2E was next and put over 23lbs of roach on the scales. Good to see he hadn’t relied on carp like Byron!!!!!!!!! New boy, Mick Robbo, then weighed over 26lbs from peg 7 that included 25 ½ lbs of carp!
On we went, Scotty with 9lbs plus, Ryan on 11 took 31lbs 6oz that included over 20lbs of silvers. Two even 16lbs next from Webby and CPO Harvey RN while three turds took nearly 16lbs from 14. The next three, Knacker Tapper, Squirrel and Alan, had 36lbs, 22lbs and 29lbs respectively. Craig tipped 23lbs on the scales but Cas Lad had 37lbs dead, which included nearly 33lbs of carp. Round the corner on 21 (Old) Superstar had over 35lbs while Geoff on 22 came up with nearly 32lbs. Elvis was last to weigh but, having spent most of the matching concentrating on coming up with great anecdotes, had just over 4lbs.
So concluded our first match of the new series. Section winners were MMA, Cas Lad and (Old) Superstar. Section seconds were Knacker Tapper, Mick Pegg and Ryan. Winner of the default best carp net went to Geoff while G2E took the honours with his silvers net.
Now looking forward to the next match in two weeks and see you all there. At least I won’t get peg 1 as I’ll be in C Section. Might draw on a few carp then!!
PS: My website is free but I do have things advertised on it by the web provider. This morning I had “Elderly walk-in showers”. Now, I don’t know about you but if I am going to buy a walk-in shower I want a new one, not an elderly one!!
Birkwood Farm Knacker Tappers Winter League – Round 2 23rd Nov 2014
A mucky start to the morning with light rain but this soon buggered off and was dry by draw time. Another surprisingly calm day in prospect with little wind although a breeze got up later in the match blowing down the pond into 21, 22 and 23, enough to chill Cas Lads scruples and one or two (mainly two) other things.
First to draw is A section, which puts Superstar on 2, the Honey Monster on 3, G2E on 22 and the other prime peg, 16, being snapped up by Ryan. Ryan likes peg 16 as it easily gives the option to also try pegs 17, 22, 23, 2 and 3!!!!!! The rest of A goes to Scotty on 15, Three Turds on 15A and newby Mick Robbo on 23.
B draws next and Cas pulls out peg 1 (I like peg 1) for my right hand draw man Eric. Last round winner MMA gets 17, Squirrel pulls 18 and the Knacker Tapper gets 4. I mention this because a lot of cold water has gone into the pond with the heavy rain of the last few days, bringing the level up by almost six inches (it’s a long time since I’ve risen six inches). I wonder if Dave’s “hot air” will raise the water temperature locally and the carp will feed again in peg 4 as they did last time! Only time will tell! The final pegs go to Danny Bennet (one “t” – no relation) with 5, Geoff on 12, leaving Alan on 13.
Finally C is drawn and Cas helps me to 11 then helps himself to 21. Last round he was in 18 and shared carp with Superstar so he knows they are there or thereabouts. Craig gets 28, Mick Pegg 6, Webby 7, CPO Harvey RN pulls 10 (or could in his younger days!), leaving a happy Byron with 14 and roach, roach, roach all the way!
Kick-off 10 AM (and I was ready for a change and even had chance for a chat with Alan and CPO Harvey) and surprisingly the first carp of the day falls to Craig on peg 28. But it doesn’t take Superstar long to get into his stride and he shows us why he got so far in the Drennan KO Cup with a procession of carp throughout the day on all methods, leaving the field trailing in his not insubstantial wake (!).
One hour in and carp are showing in the usual areas. Byron is admitting to about a pound. Mick Pegg is sneaking one or two from peg 6 – in C section??? Last match they also showed in other C section pegs, 7, 10, 11 and 14, but time shows they’ve moved as not one of the brown vermin came from these areas.
Two hours in and Byron is admitting to about 2lbs – if he’s lucky. The Knacker Tapper asks Ryan if he’s come across from Latvia with his distinctive eastern European appearance and asks if he’s now working in a car wash. Henceforth Ryan will be known as Car Wash! Thanks for another gem Dave!
Three hours pass and Superstar continues to catch carp. Byron is now struggling to get to three pounds! Heads are down an all are concentrating for the final two-hour push.
All too soon and it’s three o’clock and match over. Chris has emptied it. Byron reckons he might have 5lbs. “Lying t..t” says Three Turds, “you’ve emptied it”. “But they’re only small fish” bleats Byron.
So to the weigh in and Superstar puts 70lbs plus on the scales. Next best weight in A section, and second overall, is Car Wash with 36lbs. There are three more 30’s in A and even one in C section (Cas Lad with 34lbs 15oz from 21 – the worst peg on the pond). A fair few 20 pounds plus and decent double figure silver catches from all around, What is noticeable is that the higher carp weights are now generally from A section, all but one peg in B caught carp but four pegs in C showed no carp at all. But wait till the next match when it’s our turn for a crack at A section, the carp will have switched off!!!!!!
Section winners today (again!) were Superstar, MMA and Cas. Seconds were Car Wash, Squirrel and Mick Pegg. Best default silvers catch went to Craig while 2E took the best carp weight to show what a versatile angler he is; last match he took the silvers prize.
So now to round three on 7th December and a crack at the carp at last, unless they’ve all gone to kip!
Footnote: As we went round with the weigh in we saw a small clutch of red roses and a hand-written note on peg 20. Apparently these were in memory of a fellow angler who died there, enjoying his sport to the last. That’s the way I’d like to go, catching a few fish, enjoying the open air and being at peace with the world. Either that or on the job!!
Birkwood Farm Knacker Tappers Winter League – Round 3 7th Dec 2014
This was the first match with not all league participants present; MMA at a family function and the Knacker Tapper with “a fooked knee” (sic) unable to make the line-up. Welcome back to Paul Brown, standing in for Martin and Margie, Byron’s extremely long-suffering wife, who took Dave’s place (I hesitate to say she was a stand-in for Dave as even Chubby Brown would find that task difficult!).
Everyone paid on and ready to draw by twenty past eight, which helps as for this and the next two matches (21st and 28th December) fishing will be from 9.45 to 14.45.
A section draws first and Cas pulls 16 out for me (happy with that). I have Craig for company on 15A and Byron on 15 (upwind!!!). CPO Harvey RN pulls favoured peg 2, Webby takes 3, Mick Pegg gets 23 and, guess what, Cas gets 22! Well he is suffering with man flu so a peg that needs little thought (chuck out bomb, reel in carp, repeat!!) would be better for him (as it turned out it was chuck out bomb, cough guts up, reel in carp, cough guts up, repeat).
B section next sees Mick Robbo on 1 (I like peg 1), Superstar on 4, Hippo on 5, Ryan on 12, G2E on 13, Scotty on 17 and 3TT on 18. C section last and Elvis is on 6, Squirrel on 7, Danny (one T, no relation) on 10, Margie 11, Geoff 14, Alan 21 and guest Paul gets all silver 28.
We get underway at 9.45
Now if today’s match had been a film it would have been “All Quiet on the Western Front”. With no DP half the field thought they’d gone deaf – the half that is not sat downwind of Byron!! Byron would have said the film was “Gone With the Wind” (it was a bit breezy where we were sat). Before he’d even wet a line he was last in section, would struggle to catch, couldn’t feed properly and for him – ze league vos over!!
Cas’ film would be “Oh! Lucky Man” and CK would have “If”. Knacker Tapper gets “Home Alone”!!
Not long in and CPO Harvey RN is already netting carp from peg 2 on bomb and meat. A steady procession ensues throughout the match. Cas starts to get one or two in between coughing fits. Byron is moaning, no change there, because he too is catching the odd brown vermin – “I don’t like doing this”, “I’m bored”, as he pans another carp!
Fishing in the doldrums (pegs 3 to 7) is not so hot and even Superstar is struggling. Mr Brown is on a charge in 28, taking a steady stream of silvers. Byron looks over, sees the calm water in front of Paul and shouts “it’s like the Caribbean over there Brownie”. An immediate response from Elvis with his quip of the week – “It’s like Lilliput over THERE Byron”. Good job MMA was absent and not in 14 next to Byron as it would have resembled a scene from “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids”!!
I managed one or two carp from 16 but we have hit on a new method; Byron and Craig went into moan overdrive and my tip went round!! They moaned a fish on for me!
All too soon it was time and round three was over. Before we weighed in G2E came to show us a roach he’d taken from 13. What a deformed little bugger! This would have classified as The Elephant Roach or a finny version of Marty Feldman! I have never seen such an eye on a fish. The roach was possibly about half an ounce with one normal eye and one it looked to have borrowed from a 10lb carp.
Our winner on the day taking A section with a superb 60lbs net of carp was CPO Harvey RN, followed by Cas with more than 39lbs, mostly carp. B section was won by Mick Robbo with over 20lbs (mostly carp) and second was taken by Scotty with 15lbs 4oz, including two carp for nearly 8lbs. C section was won by guest Paul with more than 17lbs of silvers while Alan took second with 15lbs 8oz – including 10lbs 8oz of carp. Byron ended third overall with 38lbs, which included 8 carp that went just short of 36lbs (not a bad average at 4 ½ lbs apiece!). I ended with 5 carp for 13lbs (plus a few silvers for nearly 5lbs). Mine averaged 2 ½ lbs apiece!!!!
Byron took the prize for best carp weight outside the main frame. He has now changed his film to “The Great Escape”!
Best silvers went to Squirrel who netted 11lbs 8oz of the beauties.
Quote of the round: Webby “there won’t be any carp caught today!!!!”
Observation of the round: Cas was suffering with man flu. The three resident swans on the pond did their best to avoid him. We may be at risk of getting bird flu from them but no way did they wish to catch Beardsmore Flu!!
Shock of the round: Ryan securing 7 points in B section. This must be a one off!
See you all on the 21st.
Cheers
Des
Birkwood Farm Knacker Tappers Winter League – Round 4 21st Dec 2014
Round 4 and back to an open draw. Following the results from the last three matches a minor change to the sections was made – peg 23 went from A to C with 21 going in the other direction from C to A!
19 fished this week, a good turn out as winter colds and flu seem to be having a severe impact all round. Welcome back the Chief Knacker Tapper who’s “fooked knee” (sic) is much improved.
The weather forecast is a little bleak and a “Birkwood Breeze”, elsewhere known as Storm Force 10, is expected later in the day. There is also the threat of some rain coming in!
All ready to draw at 8.25 apart from MMA who overslept!! Hope he doesn’t do that on work days!!!
Craig assists me with the draw as my beautiful assistant Elvis is off with man-flu! 3TT draws for me and I get peg 5. MMA is next (in his absence) and out comes 15A, then Craig, who ends up with peg 1 (I like peg 1).
Now the free-for-all draw and who would have believed the outcome; section B has me, Cas, Craig, CPO Harvey RN, Mick Webb, Mick Pegg and Hippo. The same as the last open draw with the exception of Hippo replacing Byron! The average weight in this section has now doubled but the volume has been halved!
Everyone else is pretty well spread but sods law has come into play with the two spare pegs both in section A. This works to the advantage of Cas on peg 4 (peg 15 and 3 not drawn), MMA on 15A, Byron in 2 (!!) and Geoff, who for the second match running has drawn 14. Superstar is not a happy bunny having drawn 10, Roger’s peg!
G2E has drawn 23 on the high bank (he has also drawn 22 this series) and this will now be renamed The Kop End – geddit!
Kick off at 0945 and bombs hit the water from all directions except for peg 10 where Superstar starts on a straight waggler in the hopes of building a decent net of small fish. From where I’m sitting it looked like first blow to the Navy as John nets a carp from peg 17. Craig follows with one from peg 1 and it’s not long before Cas and MMA join in the action.
I’m enjoying a good natter with Ryan who’s next to me on 6.
More carp fall to John, Craig and the Martins. I can’t see what is happening at The Kop End but can certainly hear the return of the prodigal! We are treated to carols from DP and G2E (Oh! Tenenbaum, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen and I Came Upon a Midnight Queer – no questions asked). High level philosophical discussions could be heard ranging from “don’t knock it till you’ve tried it” to “what I would do to Serena Williams” – (rather what she would probably do to me!! (DP)). Either way it sounded like the guys had found new ways to park their bicycles!!
The Martins and Craig continue to plunder the carp. I’m still enjoying a natter with Ryan. Superstar is getting a fish a bung on waggler and, early doors, is owning up to more than 70 fish! Byron is quiet, damn quiet, or is the wind in the wrong direction! He’s not a happy bunny sitting on a carp peg!
Throughout the match the winds have gusted, squalled, circulated, blustered and have generally been a pain in the a..e, even from peg 4 round to 7, but all too soon matters come to a close and time is called.
At the weigh-in Cas reigns supreme to take the match and section B with nearly 44lbs. Second, and winning section A was MMA with nearly 43lbs with Craig third, and second in section B, with almost 41lbs. The Knacker Tapper took second in section A with 36lbs while C section was taken by G2E with 27lbs plus. Geoff took second in C with 24lbs 8oz. The default carp prize went to Hippo and Ryan took the silvers.
As we proceeded with the weigh I did say to Ryan that we would have benefited from the ripple that was apparent from pegs 15 to 18!
The league is beginning to take some shape now with Cas in front with a mere 5 points, three section wins and a second. MMA is next with 11 from three section wins and an eight points for a missed match! Is he going to repeat his Whiteacres success with a full set of section wins? Mind, he does have some competition in this league!!! Next is G2E on 12, Superstar on 13 and four anglers on 14, Alan, Squirrel, Ryan and (I’ll be last in section again!), Mr Byron Dell!!!
Here’s to the weather staying favourable in the New Year.
Footnote: Sponsorship News
Three Turds has retained the cash from Dyno Rod
Byron has secured another deal with Mothercare
I have taken a new deal with Sanilav (a song, a smile and a bog brush)
G2E, Scotty and Alan have all signed with Pantene Hair Care Products
Not even Lindholme could boast that sort of sponsorship line-up!
Have a good Christmas
Des
Birkwood Farm Knacker Tappers Winter League – Christmas Special 2014
Today was not a league match but the annual Knackers Tappers Christmas Special. 18 happy anglers and Byron were ready to do battle. ‘Twas cold but Dick had run the aerator so we were ice free and the sun shone on us all day. I would like to say the sun shone on the righteous, but not in this case!!
Today we reward the three best carp weights (let’s hope some do show in the cold!) and equally the three best silver nets.
A few league members had other commitments and my right-hand man was suffering a nasty bout of tonsillitis (get well soon Craig) so we were joined by guests Marjie, Steve, Ash and Joel. Always welcome lads (and lass!). Danny Bennet (one ‘t’ no relation) couldn’t make it as where he lives was suffering a surfeit of ice and snow, making driving more than a little hazardous. Hope it’s clear for Sunday Danny.
Luckily no-one needed ear plugs today as the Knacker Tapper was engaged in other ways and Byron was unusually quiet. Three Turds Thommo also had a strange day, spending virtually all of it perched on his box and none of it perched on a bog seat as he did last year!!
So to the draw: 3TT pulls 13 for me, 11 for Elvis and then, as some form of justice, pulls out 12 for himself. The silver boys are happy, Webby with 5, G2E on 6, Cas 14, Byron 17 and Ryan with 18 (I would have said silver-haired boys but that would have been offensive to Ryan (also risking his job at the car wash!), and totally inappropriate when applied to the follicly challenged 2E).
Drawn at the Kop End who else but superstar (21) and MMA who pulled 22; wouldn’t you have guessed it. CPO Harvey RN was on 23.
Kick off 0945 and, as usual, several bombs hit the water and then, as its Sunday, all look heavenward and pray for the tip to wrench round. Not a hope, unless you’re on 22 of course! MMA is well set and fishing bomb and bread – bread, by the way, he blagged from me and Superstar! Superstar sneaks an early carp on corn. These boys could fall in a barrel of s..t and come up smelling of Scopex!! 3TT is unusually sticking to the silvers as are the silver boys. Cas lad is shipping out to 12.5 metres and shipping back small roach straight away. Going at a fish a bung his pole becomes a blur. From now on he shall be known as Flash Cas!
Then superstar hooks a carp on his pole line. This severely tests his nerve, his number six elastic and his underpants!! “Martin” he cries excitedly to MMA, “I’ve hooked a lump”. The carp lumbers and wallows and keeps his elastic at full stretch. Then it nears the surface, sees Superstar and thinks “oh! God! I’ve got a lump!!” It makes a final bid for freedom. Finally the lump is netted (the carp, not Chris). His underpants survive the onslaught!
The silvers are not giving in easily but are being taken on caster over maggot, maggot over caster (and any other combination) and on double pinkie!
Elvis then receives the shock of his life as his tip wraps round and his maggot hook-bait is snatched up by a carp. He was hoping for roach and skimmers!
Flash is still going hell for leather with small roach, Byron is claiming less than 4lbs, MMA is still getting the odd carp and forging a lead – so no change in the world. 2E momentarily breaks into festive song but generally it has been fairly quiet around the pond. Where are you DP?
Single carp fall to Geoff on 3 and Mark on 4. Into the last hour and Squirrel snares a couple of carp from 16 but loses a third. Superstar drops one off with very little time to go!
1445 and I call time. In Craigs absence me and 3TT do the weigh-in with Eric acting as scribe. Several of us tip as we know we ain’t in with any chance and that means we can get to the pub quicker. Can everyone note that DNW on the weigh-in sheet should be DNBW – Did Not Bother to Weigh as we did catch some fish including odd carp!!
Eric has just under 4 ½ lbs while 3TT has just over 8 ½. Flash has about 180 roach for 12 ½ lbs, so that averages at about an ounce apiece! Guest Steve on 15A weighs 9 ¼ but has some quality roach and regrets not giving them the full five hours! Squirrel has two decent carp for nearly 10 ½ and he is regretting dropping a third off at the net. Byron is next and he reckons about 10lbs. That normally means he’s probably nearer 25lbs but we all get a shock when he weighs just under 11lbs. Mind he does have a monster hybrid (steady!). Frightened him to death as it was nearly as big as him!! Around the pond there are other 12lb silver nets, 2E, Ryan and CPO Harvey RN and Webby is just short by 2 oz.
Now to MMA and Superstar: MMA has seven carp for 22lbs, Superstar has just three for 19lbs 9oz, and could have snatched the glory if he had not lost one near time.
Superstar’s lump weighed in at 13lbs 12ozs. The carp’s lump weighed in at about 15 stone!!!!!
So the winners on the day were, for carp, MMA, Superstar and Squirrel while the silver champs were G2E, Flash and Ryan. Well done to all. Back at the pub we had a raffle to support the league that raised £65. Thanks to all who bought tickets and to those that donated the gifts of beer, wine, biscuits and chocolates, oh! and the catapult!! Sorry Eric but there were only two prizes left so we tossed for the one you should get. Seems you lost and got the catty!! The chocolates were won by MMA to be used as a sweetener (excuse the pun) for Mrs Holmes – creep!!!
Shock of the week: Byron “I’ll be last today” Dell weighing in just a little more than his estimate rather than the usual ten times!
Blessing of the week: As it was cold Graham kept his hat on or those of us sat at the sunny end would have been blinded from more than one direction, which would have rendered bite detection almost impossible!
I wish a Happy New Year to my reader
See you all next year – er! next week!!
Des
Birkwood Farm Knacker Tappers Winter League – Round 5 4th Jan 2015
Well what a turn up! Haven’t seen the lads since last year and it only seems like a week ago!
Round 5 and a lake clear of ice despite a sharp frost and temperatures around -3oC at eight o’clock. Dick had the aerator running and it does make a difference. One down today but Marjie happily steps in to fill the breach, as long as she’s not drawn next to Byron.
Most of the winter ailments appear to have gone but Cas is still suffering. Doesn’t seem to affect the way he performs though (at fishing, not sexually you mucky lot!). A fine but cold day is on the cards with a light breeze blowing away from the Kop End! Fishing today 10 till 3.
Now to the draw, A section first: the three plums are drawn by 3TT (2), Car Wash (16) and Alan (22). Geoff is happy with 3, Superstar has 15, Danny (one ‘T’, no relation) picks 15A and G2E completes the line up with 21. In B section Byron is on 1, Scotty on 4, Spiderman (see footnote) on 5, Elvis has 12, Squirrel 13, MMA on 17 (well drawn Martin!) and Marjie has 18. Superstar draws 23 for me in section C (thanks CK), Hippo takes 6, Craig 7, Mick Pegg 10, Flash Cas has 11, CPO Harvey RN is on 14 leaving Mick Webb with 28.
Already we have tension: Hippo and Craig have a one pound side bet as they are on adjacent pegs!
Webby could not have had a worse draw. 28 can fish well but with little depth it really dies in very cold conditions and die it did!
Kick off at 10 and the usual volley of bombs splatter the surface of the pond with two notable exceptions, Webby in 28 (a mostly silver peg in winter) and Bilbo Dell in 1 (a good carp peg when it’s on but “I’m not fishing for vermin” Bilbo goes straight on his pole line). Bilbo struggles to get a bite on white maggot.
Peg 23 did not throw up much in the first three matches of the series although 2E did extract a few carp before Christmas in round 4, so I’m in prayer mode hoping one or two will feed. I start on bomb and pellet but nothing. Change of hook lengths to fish bread. Wait for it, wait for it …………. tip goes round, skimmer on!!!!! Oops!! I fed a line at 14m with pellet and corn, and at 9m with maggot and caster. Start with white maggot. Float buries and sees me engaged in a desperate struggle with a one ounce roach. One or two more follow and I am rapidly building a weight to almost 4ozs – and that includes the 2oz skimmer I had on bread!
In the meantime MMA has a carp on 17; Alan on 22 has lured a couple on punched meat and 2E bangs out the bomb from 21 and lands one on the nose – bomb splash, tip round, fish on all in about 30 seconds! I take a look on bomb and meat and am rewarded with a three pound mirror. Things are looking up.
Bilbo is admitting to about 4ozs.
Alan and 2E continue to catch carp. I get another on clustered micros but only about a pound and a half. But it’s generally very quiet around the lake. A few silvers are being caught but no records being set. Even Spiderman is being unusually quiet! He manages a couple of jibes at Geoff and then remarks that Tom Thumb (aka Bilbo) is not saying a lot. Then Geoff gets a carp on his pole line and lands a decent fish. Cheers all round.
Bilbo is admitting to about 6ozs.
Webby has sat bite-less on his pole line but now sets up a bomb rod and has a look long. Eventually he lands a fish, a foul hooked gudgeon! 28 is a real killer on cold days. Eventually his tip does go round and he is finally rewarded with a 4lbs carp.
Bilbo reckons he’ll have no more than 2lbs.
As we go into the last hour and a half Car Wash starts to pull one or two from 16. Alan is still catching and I’m getting one or two on meat, including a better specimen that goes about 6lbs. Now Three Turds joins the race with bomb and bread and starts to add to a couple he caught earlier.
Bilbo won’t have 5lbs and he’ll be last in section, last in the match, last in the league etc., etc.
Half an hour to go and a bloody swan swims right across my line and drags my rod round then swims off. Hang on a minute, my rod is still being dragged round but not in the direction of the swan!! Grab rod and haul! Are they supposed to go with so much gusto in this cold water? After a tense battle that tested my underpants to the maximum I finally netted a fine double figure common. Thank you CK!
Time is called at 3. Bilbo reckons he might be lucky to have 8lbs. So we weigh-in and behold, Bilbo has over 13lbs and ends up second in B section, which is won by MMA (well drawn Martin), now four straight section wins, with over 17lbs. Three Turds puts nearly 30lbs on the scales but Geoff is man of the match with just three fish taken from his pole line for 22 ½ lbs, two looking about 9lbs apiece! Three turds is second to Alan in A section, who ends up with 12 carp for nearly 44lbs.
The carp have not shown in the middle area and 4 and 15 have struggled, managing just one apiece. Danny (one ‘T’ no relation) has three samples from 15A but ties with Superstar who has put together a decent net of silvers. Craig wins the battle with Hippo but did include a 3 ½ specimen in his net. If it’s any consolation to a Yorkshireman who’s just lost a pound; Hippo you did do him for silvers by 2ozs! I won C section, yeah! CK you can draw for me next time, with just over 34lbs with Flash Cas second with over 13lbs of silvers. The best silver net prize goes to Superstar with 11lbs 6ozs with best carp net going to Geoff.
I’m looking forward to being on a proper carp peg in the next match on 18th January!! See you all then.
Happy New Year and tight lines to all for the rest of it!
Des
Footnote: Mr Parker, formerly known as the Chief Knacker Tapper, has been re-christened Spiderman. This is solely to do with his surname and nothing to do with the fact that he spouts webbing from his wrists, as he can’t spout webbing from his wrists! Mind he does spout bollocks from time to time!!!
Tip of the week: If, like me, you bought a batch of s..t 8mm SINKING pellets from Woodlands that actually float try this: I found just a sprinkling of water didn’t work so put a big handful of pellets into my Ringers pellet pump, put in about a tablespoon of water, shook it around a bit, pumped (with the PUMP idiot!) and, hey presto!, pellets sink. I know oil works but I didn’t have any at the time. Proof they sink is when the seagulls come look and don’t bother diving down to pick them up!!
Birkwood Farm Knacker Tappers Winter League – Round 6 18th Jan 2015
Round 6 and it is another very cold morning. The aerator has been running but ice is extensive in front of 17, 18, 21 and 22, limiting 23 and in front of the platform of peg 2. Strangely the most sheltered peg on the pond, 28, which is normally one of the first to freeze, is ice free. In view of the weather we agree to fish 10.30 to 3.30 to give those drawn in iffy areas chance to clear the ice and at least be able to fish from the off.
We are two league members short but a mate of Scotty, Mark Foley, fills one breach and Marjie takes the other. Mark is very brave to expose himself (not literally!) to the bandits on this league. Marjie has no such issues as she knows how to cope with them. Being married to Bilbo is certainly a great help!!
We draw just after 8.30 but short of CPO Harvey RN, who has to rush back home as he has forgotten his thermal boots!! He needn’t worry though as Three Turds draws the A section pegs first for me, 15A and then for the Navy, peg 2. John won off peg 2 before Christmas so he won’t be too upset to have it again. For the rest of the section, Craig has 3 (not the best day to have it!), Wayne is on 15, Flash Cas on 16, Mick Pegg 21 and Webby gets the plum 22. Mind he may be hindered today as his cast is a little limited by the ice.
Section B next and Car Wash pulls 1 (I like peg 1), Three Turds takes 4 and Danny (one ‘T’, no relation) is on 5. Round the corner Geoff is on 12, G2E, 13, Alan has 17 with Superstar on 18. Superstar does not fancy his chances but he never does!! Everyone tells him 18 is an ok draw!
Finally section C and 7 is pulled for my pretty assistant Elvis, Scotty gets 6, Squirrel is on 10, Marjie 11, our brave guest Mark is on 14, Spiderman pulls 23 leaving Bilbo with 28; in the cold possibly the worst peg on the pond, honestly, not trying to give Bilbo excuses before we start. If you don’t believe me ask Flash Cas!
Before we kicked off Dave P suggested we should have a minutes silence for Superstars trainers, which look like they have been supplied by Mavers psychedelic branch! The first thing we’ve seen this winter that is louder than Dave!
We disperse to our respective pegs and most are able to tackle up happily (Wayne says he is happy with 15 as he hasn’t got to break ice) but there is much thrashing and noise from the vicinity of pegs 17 and 18 as ice is broken but eventually enough of a channel is cleared to allow them to fish. Before the shallow sun has a chance to warm the surface a little, some ice does try to reform but is short-lived. It has no chance of forming in 28 as there is enough hot air being generated there to keep it ice free!
Off we go at 10.30 with a gentle breeze wafting from the north blowing into the Kop end. As in previous matches, several bombs plop around the pond especially where carp are likely to show. But they don’t! Several poles are also protruding from several pegs. To say action is slow would be an understatement. A few fish are being caught but they are a trifle on the small side. Pellet, bread and a variety of meats are employed for the carp but to no avail. Slowly rods are put aside and more poles appear. Webby sticks with the bomb and is rewarded with a carp. Car Wash blags a specimen from peg 1 (I like peg 1) or maybe from 2, 16, 22 or 23 (but not 17 or 18 because of the ice!!). Superstar loses one on his short silver line.
By now most are fishing for silvers but many are struggling. I struggle for bites short on caster but when I do get fish they are a decent stamp. I also try a long line with corn that also throws up a couple of decent silvers but bites are few and far between. Flash Cas is knocking some shallow and Wayne and 2E are also finding a few, but they are small. Bilbo has not yet got a pound!!
With a couple of hours to go Cas has another look long on the bomb. Rod goes round, carp on! I follow suit, i.e. chucking out a bomb, not catching a carp, and sit watching a motionless tip. By now the breeze has got a lot stiffer but the un-forecast rain has at least stopped. Cas gets another! I contemplate going back to the silvers when my tip is suddenly tugged round (read into that what you will) and it’s carp on! Mick and Ryan have a couple by now and CPO Harvey RN has also found one on the bomb. Superstar joins the action, chucking just off the ice, and follows suit.
Although by now ice has cleared from most of the pond there is still a lump that the wind is pressing ever closer to Mick Pegg on 21. Mick is suffering as the ice is severely restricting where he can fish and he can’t chuck a bomb to where the fish live. Where were the swans when we needed them? A few well-placed lumps of bread would have seen them break the ice up for him!
Half an hour to go and a few are starting to pack pole rigs away and stick with the bomb. I do the same but notice my rod tip isn’t bending any more. Have I knocked the reel and fed some line off? Pick up rod, rod bends, fish on! CIACI or what?? By now Flash Cas has four, Ryan and CPO Harvey RN three apiece, Superstar nets a second and Alan has a little one!! Almost the end and Webby’s rod takes off again and as time is called he gets the satisfaction of shouting “fish on”.
So to the weigh in and for once Bilbo is reasonably accurate in what he has caught with a hard won 4lbs of silvers from 28. Section A is taken by Cas with just short of 24lbs with Webby second. Section B is tied between Car Wash and Superstar with 16lbs 2oz apiece while C section is won by Spiderman with 13lbs 4ozs, a weight that included just two carp for 11lbs 4ozs. Second in C was Scotty with 6lbs 4ozs. The Navy took the carp prize, his three going 9lbs dead while it became a day of ties with G2E and Wayne sharing with 8 ½ lbs apiece.
Well that’s six rounds completed so we have a league! Three more to go and we start to lose the worst results from round seven. If the weather does intrude remember we do have two additional matches booked to cover for any acts of God!
See you all next time
Des
Tip of the week: If any of you are Friends with Rob Wootton on Facebook you will note his post from the weekend showing his pole with a rather large pole cup attached. He claims this is a floating wheelie bin but I am not so sure and just shows that heavy but accurate feeding in winter could be the method. For those who remember the tips Haddock used to give a few years back, Rob’s pole cup is not too dissimilar from the Haddocks dustbin feeder. Way to go? But it might not be allowed at White Acres!
Birkwood Farm Knacker Tappers Winter League – Round 7 1st Feb 2015
Round 7, another very cold morning but the windy conditions have kept us ice free although the aerator was running when we arrived, which will have a negative impact on the local pegs, 3, 4, 5 and 15. A typically stiff Birkwood breeze is blowing from the Northwest smack into the Kop end. This is one day when no-one really wants to draw 21, 22 or 23!!
We are two league members short again but have replacements in Dave Beever for Mick Robbo and Jimmy Holmes for CPO Harvey RN, who is on duty this weekend, no doubt polishing his brass monkey and it’s just the weather for it!!!
For the next three rounds the sections have been amended following on recent form: 1 and 23 go into A section; 3, 6 and 21 move to B and 12 and 13 shift to C.
Draw at 8.30 and we fish, by popular consent, 10 till 3. Today is an open draw and Three Turds draws 7 for me and 5 for Elvis. Mmm, peg 7, the wind at that end is putting a ferocious ripple on the pond of at least half an inch and, with the sun on the water, I’ve left my sun cream at home!!
The wind is rather battering the Kop end and those really unlucky enough to draw down there were Scotty, 21, Webby, 22 and Craig with 23. Bilbo pulls 17 and Wayne 18. Bilbo is least likely to be affected as the wind will go mostly over his head, Scotty and Wayne have sufficient ballast (and Scotty has a hair style that’s unlikely to be affected) but Webby, with his tall, angular frame may need to be bolted down!
Things are heating up league wise too as the two Martins in contention are side-by-side and in the same section (A); Cas pulls peg 1 (I like peg 1) and MMA has 2. This is going to the wire!! The others in contention are not in section A; Superstar has 14, Knacker Tapper is on 16 (again!), while the next three Car Wash, Alan and 2E, are all in a line in C on 10, 11 and 12 respectively. Finally, Mick Pegg is on 28, Danny (one “T”, no relation) has 3, Squirrel 4 and Geoff 6. Three Turds has 15A and the two guests, Dave Beever has 13 and Jimmy pulls 15.
10 o’clock and off we jolly well go! Bombs rain in from all directions as everyone hopes for early carp. Quite a few are disappointed! I’m feeding a short line with caster and maggot but start with a small ground-bait feeder with sweet feed, dead red and pinkies. I miss a bite first chuck as I’m busy doing something else – twit! Next chuck gets a three ounce skimmer but I didn’t see a bite! Next gets a bite and then absolutely bloomin’ nothing! 2E has managed one or two bits on his pole line and I snare one very tiny, juvenile roach on mine with red maggot. Alan and Car Wash have not had a bite.
“I’ve not had a bite” says Car Wash
“What, from THAT flier” says 2E
“What flyer?” enquires Car Wash
“It’s got to be a flyer” says 2E “’cos you’ve drawn it”
Ryan denies it’s a flyer so 2E immediately calls for a DNA test. “It’s not Ryan on there, it’s a look-a-like, Ryan only draws fliers” 2E claims!
Still Car Wash and Alan have not had a bite. I’ve amassed a total of six fish and rapidly heading towards a 4oz weight (and that INCLUDES the three ounce skimmer!). Can’t hear Bilbo but I’ll bet anything that he hasn’t had a bite, he can’t see his float, Waynes blocking what sun there is and preventing his peg warming up and he’s going to be last in section! We CAN hear Spiderman, however, despite the strong wind blowing away from us! What he wants to do to Serena Williams is not mentionable in a family publication like this!
Finally, an hour in, and Car Wash snares his first fish. Alan still hasn’t had a bite. Even Superstar appears to be struggling at this point but Spiderman is snaffling one or two on bomb and meat. Suddenly 2E’s No 3 knicker elastic is streaming from his pole. Oh no! Carp on. Within seconds Alan’s elastic follows suit but as the elastics are going in different directions they have contacted a fish each! 2E parts company but comes back with a scale. Almost on cue Alan’s fish also does a disappearing act.
Now we come to the interesting bit! Alan decides to have a look on the bomb, chucks out and within a few minutes is playing a 4lb carp – not from peg 11, it’s not allowed! When he nets it he sees it has not taken his bait but actually has someone else’s rig attached and a swivel from the rig is caught on his hook. Look out for Alan’s forthcoming book, “101 Interesting and Unusual Ways to Catch Carp”. He’s already been offered a contract by Match Fishing magazine!! Even Steve Ringer can’t catch ‘em like that! Let’s not laugh as next chuck he’s into another. I look at the size of fish I’m catching and think “f..k, that’s another section down the pan!!”.
Superstar has started to nobble one or two from 14. He has not had a bite on his pole line and has resorted to a small ground-bait feeder fishing bread and maggot. Guest Dave on 13 is also netting one from 13. Pegs 3 to 6 and 15 are struggling. The aerator being on has pushed the fish away and into areas they wouldn’t normally sit. Didn’t push ‘em towards 7 or 10 though!
All too soon it’s three o’clock and time to weigh in. Needle pegs 1 and 2 are first to go and MMA has tripled Cas’ weight, whoops! 3 to 6 have had the predicted struggle with less than 3lbs being best weight but at least they are all in the same section. Ultimately though A section and the match are taken by Spiderman with just over 50lbs of carp from 16. Superstar follows with nearly 28lbs and a C section win. Second in A is Three Turds with just short of 21lbs while guest Dave takes second spot in C with three carp for over 15lbs. Wayne wins B with just over 9lbs, catching on small ground-bait feeder, and, surprise, a very startled Bilbo has taken second spot in B with just over 6lbs. 21 to 23 struggled with Craig the only one to nab a carp. For all his best efforts Webby managed to scrape 14ozs and even his goose pimples had goose pimples – that’s how cold it was at the Kop End. Best carp weight went to MMA (you can’t keep a good man down) and the silver prize to 2E.
For the record 2E lost three significant bream on 4mm soft pellet from peg 12. Each shed the hook almost at the net. He had one surface, which he estimated at between 3 and 3 ½ lbs!
Now the league is beginning to look interesting as we start to remove the worst scores. Cas leads the way with 8 points followed by MMA and Superstar on 15. But remember MMA has another eight-pointer to lose! All three have four sections wins each. Next is Spiderman with 16 and then Bilbo (I’m last again in section, I’ve written off this league etc. etc.) with 17. Next, all on 18 points are Alan, Car Wash and 2E. We can now pay down to sixth place ultimately so, with the two total carp and silver weight, default prizes, there will be eight beneficiaries at the end of the league! There is still all to play for! Good luck to all who are still in contention.
See you on 15th
Des
Serious Note: Geoff fished the pond on Saturday (31st) and, when loading his van, forgot to put his rod bag in as he was in a hurry to get home and get warm! His rod bag, containing his pole and other gear vanished. No-one bothered to see Dick and hand it over. Remember to keep an eye on tackle at all times as there are a lot of scum-b……….s about these days who don’t give a toss for others property! Pass the message round in case anyone is selling gear on the cheap, which could be Geoffs!
Birkwood Farm Knacker Tappers Winter League – Round 8 15th Feb 2015
Round 8, the penultimate round of this year’s winter league and all is still to play for. Three erstwhile gentlemen at the top (I use the term gentlemen cautiously) all with 4 section wins and any one of them could take the crown. The weather is still on the cold side but the ice has gone, although there was still ice on the pond on Wednesday. But there was some significant cold rainfall overnight that could affect the fishing. Still there’s just a light breeze from the east, which switched to the south east during the match.
19 fished today; the Knacker Tapper didn’t make it as his battery went flat (the one on his van not his vibrator) and he had to be towed home. This would make it a quiet as well as a calm day. Rumour has it that an AA recovery driver is now preparing a claim for industrial injury – deafness – after having Dave sat next to him in his wagon!!
Ready to draw at 8.30 and Three Turds does the honours for me from A section. He sticks in his thumb and pulls out a plum!! He really does pull out a plum and hands me peg 22! Thank you Three Turds! Next to dip is Superstar who comes up with 16, another very in-form peg. Here is the strong prospect of a section win and to say he’s delighted/overjoyed/over the moon could be understatement. Never before have we witnessed anyone skipping with all his tackle to his peg. This must have been quite unnerving for 2E who had pulled 15 from the bag. Mick Pegg has 1 (I like peg 1), Car Wash picks 2, another plum and Alan takes the remaining peg 23. 15A remains in the bag.
Now for the B section draw and all eyes are on the two Martins. And who could have planned this? They draw next to each other again, MMA has 5 and Cas 6 so another peg-for-peg battle is in prospect. Webby pulls 4, and is not a happy bunny. The rest are taken by Three Turds, 17, CPO Harvey RN, 18 and Craig has 21. Three is left in the bag. Finally C section and Three Turds pulls 11 for Eric (might be the chance of a carp Eric!) while Bilbo gets 7, Geoff 10, Danny (one ‘T’, no relation) is on 12, Wayne 13 and Secret Squirrel has 14. That leaves Scotty with 28.
Wayne asks the question “why do they call Mark Secret Squirrel?” So 2E replies, “’cos he’s always playing with his nuts!” “Yes”, says Wayne “but why Secret?” “’Cos he tries to do it so no-one can see him” qualifies 2E! Ah! The wisdom of the sages!!
While we’re tackling up Three Turds is setting his bomb line and ensuring he is not encroaching on Superstar or Sailor John. On the retrieve he connects with a carp, which gets him giddy and perhaps even a little moist!! They must be out there waiting for him and he can’t wait to get started!!
Kick off 10 am and, as I’m on 22 with no chance of a prize, it’s carp or bust. Only set up three rods; pellet feeder, pellet waggler and straight bomb. My mate Alan on 23 has set up similar. Off goes the usual bombardment as most start on the bomb but, like the last match, quite a lot of nothing happens! I’m on spicy meat and getting the odd tiny liner and so is Superstar. Suddenly Sailor John is playing a carp from 18. They haven’t read the script again! Not long after he’s into number two. I’m still getting indications punctuated by the odd, significant liner but no real takes. Just before 11 I ask at what time I should start panicking. Scotty advises 5 to 3!
Several are already on their silver lines and Scotty is getting a few and so are Webby, MMA and the Squirrel. My tip still hasn’t gone round properly! A change of tactic is needed and the meat is replaced by a strawberry pop-up fished about a foot off the deck. Still waiting! Then, while rummaging through my box for the telephone number of the Samaritans, my tip wrenches round and I am attached to a decent fish. After a few minutes about 6lbs of mirror is glaring at me from the bottom of the net. Superstar is glaring at me from peg 16! Apart from a few silvers he has only managed to foul and lose a carp on his pole line.
More than an hour goes by and my tip has gone back to occasionally bending from small liners. By now Sailor John has three carp, Superstar has managed one and so has Radical Ryan. Just to update the regular readers of these reports (those that have not yet been confined to some secure nursing home anyway) Ryan B/Car Wash was rechristened Radical Ryan by 2E during yesterday’s match. The naming may be dubious but the way of the banter going across the pond almost suggested there was a little romance in the air! It was the day after Valentine’s Day after all! Enough said!!
I decided to try something completely different and put on a size 14 to 30” tail and filled the hook with about eight or nine white maggots. Chucked out and within five minutes had a big belt on the rod end. Twitched about a yard back and the same happened again. I retrieved to find one maggot left on the hook and this was in a pretty sorry state! Reduced the hook tail to about 15”, refilled the hook and chucked out again. I only waited about two minutes before the tip wrapped and I was playing my largest fish of the day; a common that was pushing double figures. Chucked out again and almost immediately into a third carp of around 4lbs. I like this game! But then it was a return to a lot of nothing going on! Sailor John has had 4 carp, Three Turds has one or two and Radical Ryan also has 4. Alan now gets in on the act with a smaller specimen on meat.
Heading through the last two hours and another change is made; an orange pop-up replaces the red one and before long it’s game on again. I manage five more decent fish before time is called.
Now the weigh in and, surprise, surprise, my net goes over 36lbs and I have taken the match and A section. It’s been a long time since I had an outright win in the winter league and guess what peg I managed it from? Yep – 22!! I must admit that I was happy when Three Turds pulled 22 for me (I did kiss him after the match!) but you pray the fish are there and you catch a few and don’t look a plonker!! The little April was having a flutter I can tell you – especially an hour in when I hadn’t had a fish!! Radical Ryan took second in A but Superstar was well down the pecking order being battered from either side by 2E and Three Turds (sorry Chris). He took some stick from 2E who reminded him of the (many) previous occasions he had either drawn 16 or practised on it!! “He spends so much time on this peg” said Graham “he even has his post delivered there”.
MMA takes B, and his fifth section win, with 27lbs including 2 carp for just under 9lbs while second is Webby with an all silver net of nearly 24lbs. Sadly Cas couldn’t make it work today and he finished in the a..e end of the section. The secret nut scratching Squirrel won section C with nearly 19lbs, made up of a fine net of silvers and a three-pound carp. Big Wayne took second with just short of 18lbs. The carp prize was secured by Sailor John while Craig bagged the silver cash with a creditable 14lbs 4oz.
Now all is still up for grabs with only the two Martins guaranteed a top-six finish (I will be paying the top six!). Superstar is almost guaranteed a podium and only needs to finish in the top five in B section next time to be sure! Anyone from the next group could fill the remaining three spots. It’s all so exciting really!! Even the silver fish and carp prizes are still up for grabs although Webby would need to fall asleep at his peg, fall in or just not turn up to put the prospect of his taking the silver prize in jeopardy. He has put a magnificent total of 87lbs 6oz of silvers on the scales so far, nearly 15lbs clear of his nearest rival, Bilbo.
So here’s to next time and the last league match (hopefully) on March 1st. Don’t forget though we do have two more matches on 15th and 22nd March with the pressure off! Hope to see you all on them.
Cheers
Des
Good Note: Geoff got his gear back. A very honest gentleman found it and looked after it until the rightful owner could reclaim it. There are some decent people in the world!
Birkwood Farm Knacker Tappers Winter League – Round 9 1st Mar Feb 2015
Round 9, the final round of this year’s winter league and it looks like a two horse race for the top spot with the two Martins in contention. Even if Superstar comes back with a section win he would still be two points off the pace. I am paying to sixth place so the next four places are still up for grabs.
19 fished today; young Danny (one ‘T’, no relation) couldn’t make it due to work commitments. Boy, am I glad I’m retired and don’t have work interfering! The supreme Knacker Tapper has returned and everyone is checking through their boxes to find the ear plugs!!!!
Just for this last match we have a “Birkwood Breeze” blowing from the north-west, which will treat those from 14 to 23 with a surfing option if the fishing is hard. It is also scheduled for rain about 2pm, according to the BBC, which will last about an hour or two as the wind pushes it through; oh joy!
So we draw at 8.30 and A section is first. Geoff draws peg 1 (I like peg 1) with Bilbo coming next on 2. Struggling with the wind were Eric, 15, Wayne, 15A, a very happy Squirrel has 22 leaving Scotty on 23. Peg 16 is left in the bag. Young Squirrel is in contention for a podium place and he hopes 22 will give him every chance.
Now to B section and my dear friend Three Turds lifts peg 3 for me. Now my only chance is with carp so I’m happy with peg 3. If they move in I could be in for a few but I have been advised by Superstar that he fished there on Friday (one of about four practise days this week!!) and didn’t get a sniff! We can but hope. Next to me on 4 is G2e, then Radical Ryan on 5, Mick Pegg on 6, leaving Superstar with 17 and Alan on 21. Peg 18 is not drawn. Superstar did say on Facebook that he was worried about the wind and I advised he laid off the greens for his Saturday night scran. I don’t know if he took my advice!
Finally we draw section C and Webby is happy with his choice of 7, MMA has 10, Knacker Tapper is on 11, Cas on 12, Sailor John on 13 and Craig on 14. Finally Three Turds takes 28 and is very happy with his draw well out of the elements. His son and heir, however, has the wind blowing straight at him and I advise that he pulls his van up tight to the platform and fishes through the window. He was sorely tempted!
Now I’m looking forward to some lively banter from my neighbours, Bilbo and G2E!! This does feel a bit like being drawn between Victor Meldrew and his even grumpier twin brother!! Not wishing to cast aspersions on Byron but when Marjorie asked for some wine at Christmas she got two hours of no-one really loves him, Father Christmas won’t come to me this year, I bet the tree catches fire, I’m sure to get salmonella or e-coli from the turkey etc. etc. I was so looking forward to the next 5 hours!
Anyway, it’s a 10 o’clock kick off and, as usual, bombs rain in from all directions as everyone hopes for an early carp, or at least a carp at sometime! All, that is, except Webby in peg 7, who’s straight on the pole for roach. We’ve probably not been fishing ten minutes when Victor Meldrew One (G2E) has latched onto a carp. It is foul hooked so he puts it into his net for safe keeping. About 10 minutes pass and Radical Ryan is also playing one. No-one else around the pond has any sign. Squirrel is getting anxious! Both Ryan and Victor reach for their poles and start to batter the silvers. I’ve had minor line indications but nowt else and these cease after about half an hour.
I stick on the bomb for an hour and then revert to a small ground-bait feeder fished at 25m with dead reds just to avoid any blank. I do snaffle a few skimmers, roach and one foul-hooked gudgeon. But soon back on the bomb to see if I can snare a carp, using a variety of hook baits.
Victor Meldrew Two has had no signs and is beginning to regret not setting up a pole and going at the silvers. He does nab a small skimmer on double 10mm pellet but is approaching suicidal and blaming me for being a jinx! Matters are not helped when Geoff starts to catch carp in peg 1 (I like peg 1) and Three Turds also manages two in as many chucks from 28! What are they doing there? I am now being treated to Victor Two’s complete reasons for failure, how he is going to finish last in section (yawn), how any hope of a podium finish has evaporated (yawn, yawn) and he is being battered from all sides. Mind Victor One is also expressing similar sentiments about missing a podium finish!!
Squirrel finally nets a carp on 22 and Scotty is also finding the odd specimen. CPO Harvey RN has been quietly sneaking a few from 14 and Wayne and Elvis have a couple apiece. Webby is quietly going about his business emptying peg 7 of roach while the two Martins are also doing the same from their pegs. Superstar is struggling. I think he is over practised!
The wind turns round and is now almost a south easterly and then about 2pm it starts to rain!
All too soon we hit 3pm and time is finally called on this seasons Birkwood Farm Knacker Tappers Winter League. At the weigh-in Geoff has taken A section with 27 ½ lbs of carp, Radical Ryan sees off B with just over 21lbs but the winner on the day, and leading C section is Webby with an absolutely awesome net of roach going 36 1/2lbs – and that rates as the performance of the series. In two years of this winter league no-one has won a match outright with just silver fish! Second in section is Craig with a windswept carp net pushing 33lbs. The best carp net went to Sailor John with just over 21lbs while MMA took the silver gong with just over 27lbs. Peg 22 didn’t fish as hoped (they’re not always there) and carp were caught from some of the most unlikely places. Victor One hooked one on his pole line and managed to land it using a number 3 elastic and 0.08 bottom. Not long after he was broken by a larger specimen that actually took out his hook length around the rope that fixes the aerator in place!
It stopped raining about 3.30!
Now both Martins returned over 20lbs of silvers but MMA finished one place ahead of Cas. In the final reckoning both tied on 8 points but MMA took the league on section wins. With his last gasp section win Radical Ryan scooped third place in the league leaving Superstar in fourth.
Now, you may notice that I did not previously mention second placings in A or B sections. There’s a good reason for this! Second in A section today was Bilbo, second in B was G2E. The last two league placings were taken by G2E (fifth) and Bilbo (sixth). These are the Victors Meldrews who had given up all hope of winning anything! There was an almost genuine look of surprise on Bilbo’s face when he learnt the news!! Best overall cumulative carp weight was won by The Knacker Tapper with 166lbs 5oz while the silver medal went to Webby with a superb total of 123lbs 14oz. This shows the standard of the fishing at Birkwood. Remember Mr Parker missed two matches!
Congratulations to MMA on the league win and to all other prize-winners. And thanks mate for the round of drinks, which was well appreciated.
Thanks to everyone for making this a good series. See you all in November for the next one. Dates are already booked and will be posted later in the year.
Cheers
Des
PS: Just to underline the standard of anglers fishing at Birkwood; MMA won all his sections at White Acres to qualify for The Parkdean Masters but only managed 5 out of the 7 he fished here……………. I have been approached by Tommy Pickering to see if we have any places left for the 2015-16 series but I had to f..k him off!!
Birkwood Farm Knacker Tappers Winter League – “Jolly Match”, Mar 15th 2015
Well the league is over for another year but we still have two matches left; reserve dates in case we lost any due to the weather. But for the second year running the weather has been (reasonably) kind and we only suffered minor disruption on one match with some ice around pegs 17, 18 and at the Kop End.
Today is cold with a breeze blowing into the Kop. Nothing too dramatic and no rain is forecast. Today we shall mostly be fishing a rover but with pay-out going to top two carp weights, top two silver and then the top two mixed (although, as an afterthought, this was not wholly a good idea!!)
We draw at 8.30 and will fish from 10 till 4. Today will be about the craic! My good friend Three Turds starts the draw pulling out a peg for me and then one for Elvis. Now there are 15 of us fishing and I’m using the league pegs so there is no 8 or 9 in the bag; draw numbers go 1 to 7 and 10 to 17. So on a rover what does 3TT pull out for me – 17 – and for Elvis – 16. Well done Dave!!!! Number 1 goes to Paul Brown and Knacker Tapper gets 2. Paul decides to take 7 and Knacker goes to his favourite 16. As we go round Geoff is on 1 (I like peg 1), Byron on 2, Mick Pegg on 3, Superstar is on 5, Mark Wainwright has 12, Cas 13, Craig 14, Elvis 15, Three Turds 15A, G2E on 17, Webby on 18, a very lucky Scotty on 22, which left me with 23. I’d had a few off it at the start of the year but it has not been throwing up many carp just lately (and few carp have been showing in general). March this year is proving colder than last. My plan was to sit it out for carp mainly on the bomb with various bait options.
Kick off at 10 and almost immediately Bilbo is into small roach (although he denies actually getting any bites for at least an hour). He does a perfect impression of Bobby Ball – the Little Liar!! Paul, Mark and Martin are also on the pole for silvers while everyone else is having a look for carp. It doesn’t take long to snare one and it’s G2E who takes the first of his three in the opening 30 minutes on pellet waggler! Webby has a look next door but soon he too is out on the pole for the silvers.
As things progress plenty of silvers are being caught but little in the way of carp. Scotty snares a couple on bomb and pellet but mostly they are staying absent. This gives way to some gems echoing round the pond:
Knacker Tapper: “I’ve given the kids to the keys to our cellar. Well it is Mother’s Day and they want to take their ma out”. Then he bursts into Monty Python’s Lumberjack song;
“You ever wanted to be a Lumberjack Byron?” he calls
“Why?” says Elvis, “do they need ‘em in the Bonsai forests in Japan?”
Later 2E asks, “you ever been shrimp fishing Byron?”
I can’t resist; “he hasn’t Graham but Marjorie certainly has”
And so on.
Graham is getting silvers and the odd carp on his pole line. Scotty is getting them on the bomb with pellet and bread. Apart from a few line bites and the odd skimmer my tip just stays static. Geoff is knocking one or two from peg 1 (I like peg 1) and the silver boys are still catching. Half way through and Bilbo is owning up to about 4lbs! Three Turds and Knacker Tapper are struggling for carp and Three Turds diverts his attention to his pole lines. I have fished meat, spicy pellet, bunches of maggot and various pop-ups and then switched to a standard 8mm pellet on the deck. Bang, tip round, carp on and I begin to feel better. Nothing else happens for a while and just as I am having a little banter with Scotty my rod is nearly pulled into orbit! After that bite I land the culprit, a common of about 1 ½ lbs!! Scotty is now catching on bread so it goes on my hook as well. Bang, tip round and I land a common of about 4lbs that is doing an impression of a grass carp, it is so long and thin!
About an hour to go and Scotty is still catching on bread. Byron now reckons he might have 6lbs if he’s lucky. G2E is still getting the odd one with his silvers and Geoff has four or five. Finally the Knacker Tapper snares his one and only carp from his beloved 16. It hasn’t produced in the last two matches.
Just a few minutes to go and Scotty nets his 15th carp. Byron could have about 7lbs!!!
I call time and we get to the weigh in. Geoff weighs in just over 19lbs, which is 17lbs of carp plus silvers. Byron’s estimate has magically turned into nearly 34lbs. It never ceases to amaze us that his estimates are always on the low side as a 4oz roach must look more like a pound fish to Byron!! Next is superstar who turns in nearly 20lbs of silvers from 5 and then Paul with 21lbs plus that included a 2lbs carp.
Marjorie, Byron’s very long suffering better half has fished peg 10 but while not in the main match she weighs in a very creditable 8lbs of silvers (rumour has it that much of their weekly shopping bill goes on anti-fibbing tablets and ear-plugs; those tablets aren’t working Marjorie!!).
Next is Mark, who is guesting with us for the first time. He tips a superb 29lbs of silvers on the scales followed by Cas who has 25 ½ lbs. Craig has nearly 22lbs from 14 that includes a near 4lbs carp. Three Turds has 11 ½ lbs of silvers while 2E puts a fine net of 34lbs in the pan that includes 9 carp for 27lbs. Webby has over 32lbs of silvers but Scotty scoops the match honours with almost 42lbs. My modest effort comes in at just over 9lbs. Mick Pegg. Elvis and Knacker Tapper did catch but didn’t bother to weigh.
On the day the silver prizes went to INWA* Byron and Webby, carp went to Scotty and Geoff while the joint nets were won by G2E and Craig.
Here’s to next Sunday and the last match. There will only be about 10 or 11 of us and we will only use half the pond. Already looking forward to next winter’s league and the dates are already booked with Sandra.
Cheers
Des
*INWA – I Never Win Anything!!
Birkwood Farm Knacker Tappers Winter League – “Jolly Match”, Mar 22nd 2015
And we finally arrive at the last match of the year. Nothing riding on it but pride! Ten original members line up alongside three welcome guests, Paul Brown, Mark Wainwright and his son Kyle. There were originally only ten of us scheduled to fish so I only took half the pond leaving pegs 4 to 15 free to pleasure anglers but the ranks were swelled so we had to use a couple of pegs we wouldn’t normally put in, 19 and 24. We couldn’t take any back as by the time we arrived, just before eight, more than half the pleasure pegs were occupied. By nine they were all taken!
Today we shall mostly be drawing for peg rather than a rover and will be paying top two carp and top two silver weights. Fishing will be from ten until four. We draw at the normal time and, for once, on Knacker Tappers suggestion, me and Elvis will draw our own pegs. I pull 18, happy with that, but Elvis ends up with 24! Kyle is on 1 with his dad next door on 28. Bilbo picks out 2 and an unhappy Webby ends up with 3, again! Scotty is on 15A, Craig on 16, the Knacker Tapper has 17, Three Turds 19, Paul 21, Geoff (lucky Geoff) gets 22 leaving G2E with 23. Both me and Craig start the day looking frantically for ear plugs but to no avail. I just hoping I’m upwind of 17!!
It is a good day; not warm but with little wind so we should have no issues holding long lengths of carbon in a “Birkwood Breeze”. We’re all looking forward to good fishing and good banter.
We kick off at ten with eight of us straight off on the bomb looking for a carp (or in Three Turds case a crap!!), the rest going for the silvers straight away. Bilbo whipped his rig in and whipped out a small roach within seconds. He was observed doing this repeatedly but it must have been accidental as, one hour in, he hadn’t had a bite!!
On the carp front a lot of not much was happening, tips remained static until Geoff finally snared one from 22. Craig had abandoned his rod and was beginning to bag some decent silver samples while the Knacker Tapper was catching long on pellet waggler; not the hoped for carp but skimmers and decent roach, enough to keep him happy (but not quiet!!).
Geoff in the meantime had another carp while everybody else’s tips were static. Three turds was fishing close for silvers and then had a carp snaffle his caster to give him a few April trembling moments till it was safely in the net. Geoff had another. Bilbo has still not had a bite. Craig is getting some better silver samples while Mark in 28 is also putting a few in the net.
My tip has not budged so I went on the silvers for about an hour or so just to put some fish in the net. Had just shy of 90 roach that eventually weighed in at 6lbs. Why do I always attract the little ones! So, back on the bomb with pellet and decided to re-feed my long line. Shipped out pole, dropped load (in a manner of speaking!) but before I could ship back my tip took off. As I frantically shipped back my rod fell back and then took off again! I managed to ship back finally, left the cupping kit on and banging against my earhole, grabbed the rod but by this time it had fallen back again and, bugger, the fish had gone! Chucked out again (cursing loudly) and decided I needed a pee. I was trying to secure my rod when the reel “rolled” back so I tightened and it went back again. What is going on? Picked up rod, reeled down and, guess what, fish on!! That was my only carp. Geoff has five now! 2E has one but Bilbo has not had a bite!
Quarter past three and Scotty has gone back on the bomb on 15A! In the last 45 minutes he snares three small carp on pellet and bread. Geoff has six but everybody else has stuck with the silvers. Even Bilbo has hung on!
Time is called at 4 and we weigh in. Winner on the day and taking the silver prize with a superb net of 38lbs 8oz is Craig followed by Bilbo “IHHABY” Dell with another all silver net of 36lbs 8oz. Mark has just over 28lbs from 28. Leading the carp weights is, of course, Geoff whose six prove small and weigh in at 15lbs 10oz followed by Scotty who’s three tip the scales at 8lbs.
So it’s back to the pub for the pay-out and the last drinks together of this series. It has been a good series and thanks to everyone for taking part. Here’s hoping to see you all again in November when the fun will start all over again.
Cheers
Des
NB: IHHABY – I Haven’t Had A Bite Yet
