Anthea Mary Calcott

25th September 1937 - 30th May 2023

Eulocy

delivered at her funeral
on Friday 23^rd June 2023
by her eldest son, Philip A.B. Calcott,
in the Parish Church of St Andrew
Okeford Fitzpaine

Mum of 3, Granny of 7, Great Granny to 3, sister, Aunty, jam queen . . . Anthea was known by many terms of endearment by many people.

Born to John and Alice White in Ferndown in 1937 she grew up in Ringwood with her younger brother Tony and sister Margaret.

Mum relayed us many stories about her early life growing up during the second world war…..like the time her mother came running up the road shouting to Mum and her brother that France had fallen. But Mum and her brother Tony, as young children continued playing in the fields as they didn’t understand that their father was in France.

Mum told me of the time they went with an Aunt to a hotel in London during the war and stood on the roof watching the bombs falling and celebrating like it was a firework display . . . the innocence of youth.

After School she became a nurse, training at Wimborne hospital before completing her training and qualifying at Guys hospital in London.

The stories of the antics that doctors and nurses got up to on and off duty were numerous.

Aged 22 Mum took a holiday to Yugoslavia…..then a communist country behind the iron curtain…..this was very adventurous for someone of her age in that era…..but then Anthea never stuck to convention.

She met and married George in Q1 1961 in Christchurch,

George was born in West Derby, Liverpool, on 11^th March 1906 – How and where did they meet ?

and moved to Warrington where I was born in Q1 1962, but soon returned south to her home town of Ringwood where Richard was born in Q3 1964, and we eventually moved to Okeford Fitzpaine in 1965 to take over The Royal Oak, where the family was completed when James was born in Q4 1965.

It was here that we as a family, had some of the best days of our lives. Mum worked tirelessly behind the bar and in the garden and produced some of the best food for the skittle, dart and crib teams on the pub circuit.

The characters, parties and lock-ins still provide my brothers and me with great memories.

Mum once made some faggots and sausage rolls, put them in the oven, then went into the garden. She forgot about the food and when she returned the food was all black and charred so she put them in a warming display on the counter with a sign reading ”For sale -  Sassenach Haggis - 15p each”, sales for them were, unsurprisingly, rather slow!

In 1984, following the death of our father George – he lies in this Churchyard - we moved from the pub to the local Gaol, 75 The Cross, where Mum lived until she passed away.

She spent 58 years in the village, fully immersing herself into village life, and my brothers and I would like to think the villagers accepted Mum as one of the locals!

Once she left the pub Mum needed something to do, so with her love of children she helped run the youth club, taking them on trips and joining in with carnival floats.

She also joined the parish council and became the footpath officer where she spent many hours helping to keep the local footpaths from becoming overgrown.

It was while she was doing this I received a phone call from her one day asking to be collected from Dorchester hospital…..my first question was why? and the reply was I have fractured my wrist…..when I asked how did you get there……by bus was her reply!

She looked after one of the local ladies as a career, then cared for her own mother for several years and during this time Mum taught herself how to spin wool.

She would go on walks around the village collecting wool from the barbed wire which she would spin and knit it into garments.

Although her judgement of sizes was somewhat questionable!

Then we get to where she really excelled……Jams and Chutneys.

I know she was our Mum but what an amazing job she did for this village.

She would grow much of the produce, always digging the garden herself every spring and then everything else in the garden she would do in her bare feet!

Mum would often be seen walking around the village collecting elderflowers and blackberries.

We, as a family, are immensely proud of what she did and thankful to all those that helped her…..donating the fruit and vegetables, saving jam jars, taking her to and from various venues and events…..it all helped and Mum just pulled it all together for the village.

Only when her health deteriorated did she, very reluctantly, stop.

Our Mum always enjoyed being around young children, she looked after Jack and Erin next door as well as numerous other family and friends’ children, often winding them up in church or at parties and other places where they were supposed to be quiet, she would pull faces and make noises to get them to laugh and fidget when they should be still.

She loved looking after her grandchildren and regularly took them all in turn to London for days out to see the sights.

Mum took all the grandchildren, and their parents, to Lapland to see Father Christmas, she must have been on first name terms with Santa as she went 5 times and was as excited about each trip like it was the first.

When the grandchildren had grown up she wanted something else to do so she would get on a bus and see how far she could get in a day for £5 . . . she once got on a bus outside her front door and after several changes she got to Dover . . . then set about returning.

I received a phone call at 9pm that evening to say she was in Southampton but could get no closer to home . . . nothing phased Mum!

Our Mum was always very frugal, nothing was ever thrown away, she used to cut the end of our shoes out in the summer, with one of dads razor blades, so we had sandals….

She salted down any spare runner beans before runner bean chutney was invented!

Again not so long ago Mum asked me to go up to the shed at the end of the garden to get he some bleach, the date stamp on it, was 1973…..she had bought a job lot while we were in the Royal Oak and had moved it all with her when she moved to 75 The Cross.

Mum had a wicked sense of humour she was never upset with her grandchildren getting their own back like the time one of them put cling film on the toilet, she thought it was hilarious.

When the blue plaques were put up in the village she went around to all the sites on her electric buggy her great grandson standing on it as well. He kept pressing the horn, while the speeches were being made and then he turned up the speed while she was going between the sites, she was smiling and giggling throughout.

Even after she passed away she managed to make us laugh……James found a purse in a cupboard and when he opened it was empty except for a hand written note, which read….Ha Ha serves you right you thieving gits!

I found a blanket in her freezer that she had just finished making for one of her grandchildren, so I asked James about it and he said perhaps Mum thought the freezer would be more efficient if it was full up!

When I asked Richard about it he started laughing and explained that while staying with Mum a week or so before she had asked him to get something from the freezer and he asked her why the blanket was in there and she replied to kill the moths!!

When I relayed the story to my Auntie she replied that she had found a wooden handle from a garden implement in her freezer and was told by her husband, Mum’s brother, that it was to kill the woodworm so obviously brother and sister think alike.

She loved her comedy shows, hence the choice of music to enter and leave the church, we were thinking of trying to revive the Royal Oak band to give us a rendition of the 12 days of Christmas, that always tickled her.

Mum was always very family orientated, her house reflects this with every conceivable space taken up with family photos. She loved nothing more than getting everyone together in one place and for years on Christmas day we would have 23 for dinner once we had managed to empty the pub.

Mum organized the family to get together on numerous occasions for Easter, family BBQ’s any excuse to get everyone in the same place at the same time.

And so a chapter of life has ended, but fond memories remain. Mum left us with a strong ethos of right and wrong which has stood the three of us in good stead throughout our lives to pass onto our families.

She was a strong character with her own views on life and the community of Okeford Fitzpaine was very important to her.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep. 

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain. 

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.

 "Immortality" (1934)
by Clare Harner (1909–1977)

Goodbye and God Bless, Mum.

..................................................................................................................... 

The family warmly invite all to the Okeford Fitzpaine Village Hall,

a short walk from church, for refreshments

and to share memories of Anthea.

Donations in memory of Anthea are in aid of the
Okeford Fitzpaine Village Hall and may be made online
by visiting www.grassbyclose-funeral.co.uk
or cheques made payable to the charity sent
c/o Grassby and Close Funeral Directors
at the address below.

Grassby and Close Funeral Directors

4 Innes Court, Station Road, Sturminster Newton, Dorset DT10 1BB

Tel: 01258 471024

The Service sheet was scanned, then OCRed to post here.  The 8 scans are in the Library.

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