Half way point of the season and OH currently sit in third place, four points from the top two teams. This needs to change and no doubt a rigorous fitness regime adhered to by all OH players over the festive season will see this gap pegged back. The season started positively with a number of pre-season signings, all whom have assured that at some point they have come into contact with something Habs in their lives – me personally having made the most of my brother’s Habs School roots. Although, it can easily be argued that I am more OH than my brother will ever be – this reflecting the views of Stevo and Keen etc in private managerial meetings I have been told! The arrival of Raz, Tom Nichols (who arrived to a packed Croxdale for his presenting to the fans on a broomstick), Shuey, Macaulay Culkin, John Glenn, Robin Biela and James Kilby no doubt brought an air of optimism to the fray. We are also sure to see more of James Kilby in the New Year having seen his season so far hampered by a persisting bunion problem mixed with a touch of athlete’s foot. Another who we are looking forward to having back is Chris Reidy who is home after a year away. A bumper crowd of exactly zero saw OH fend of Old Chigwellians 2-1 on the opening day of the season with Keen and Bill scoring two good goals. However, the following two fixtures saw OH suffer bloody noses against Old Westminster and Charterhouse. Despite these results the chances were coming thick and thin – something had to give. It did. Eton parked their horse-drawn carriages next to OH Fiesta’s in the Crox car-park and were duly given a 5-1 beating. Unlucky for them that their horses were stolen by Crox ultras who wanted to remind OH that whilst not in attendance due to drinking outside the nearest Lloyds Bar, they were still supporters. It was a very long road home. More impressive results arrived, particularly in the hostile clash at Westminster. Annoyed at their wearing of a pink kit at the Crox and their smash ‘n’ grab raid due to a clinical John Glenn own goal, OH got to work. Harry Potter broke away from a game of Quidditch and floated in (literally) to register a neat hat trick and the ever-scoring Vellosa added another via the keepers back with Kilby’s bunion adding a fifth. Things were looking good until Glenn Little informed the team of the bad news that, apart from missing the rest of Reading’s first season in the Premiership, he would also be out for the same period of time for OH after his leg was broken in a 5-a-side game. The news was worst for Keen who has found himself providing the big-man with endless cups of tea and toast in the morning since the break. Although, Teamtalk.com has reported that Little has not once said thank you to Kuqi and the former is considering moving out of the digs the two have shared since beginning their YTS at OH. Stevo has tried to stay out of the press when attending games since by wearing an array of grandad hats which were lent to him by former East 17 band member and friend, Brian Harvey. A cup exit to Leyton County and poor results against Eton and Old Salopians see OH going into the re-arranged game with the skullduggerous Old Brentwoods on Jan 6th with a lot to prove. However, team spirit is high once again after a cracking Christmas do organised by the King and hopefully there will be more team booze-ups to look forward to in the New Year. So, what have we got at the half-way stage then?! Goal of the Season so far – Andy Evans humdinger Vs Old Sallopians (nicked it just ahead of corkers by W.Reidy and Nichols away at Leyton!) Boob of the season – Russ 'The Cat' Jones’s extra slow-motion dive to give Old Salopians their 4th! Assist Daddy to date – Russ Jones after a lot of underhand lobbying! Most childish moment – Evans chucking mud at an opponent after the latter had left the big man on the deck in a puddle. How are the lads doing so far?!! Shuey – originally a centre-midfielder, Shuey has taken to goalkeeping like a fat bloke to a cake. Having saved OH on numerous occasions and leaving centre-forwards unable to walk after bone-crunching, last-gasp challenges on a regular basis, OH have a lot to thank this man for. Rasol – when not splitting defences with needle-like passes Ras has been one of the most consistent performers so far this season. A hungry appetite and a never-say-die/I will be your hero attitude have also led to the number of female followers attending matches at the Crox this season swell to two! Dave Hart – an understated performer who’s left foot has balanced the side nicely this season. Dave didn’t even bat an eyelid when handed a £50 bill for 5 double G'n'T's at the recent Christmas do – it was all the proof we needed that if you want quality in your team, you have to pay the wages. Stevo – the big man was superb up until his season was ended by a filthy challenge. Towering headers not requiring a jump and dribbling skills not normally associated with a centre-back made Stevo a lynchpin at the heart of the OH defence. Robin – although a full 4 foot shorter than Stevo, Rob can leap like a salmon at the same time as impersonating Venus Williams with his heavy grunting. A quality centre-back who has provided OH with a bit of class at the back this year. Matt Jackson – after the longest pre-season of all time, Matt has dragged his sweet left foot off Bournemouth beach and back onto the OH playing fields. An organiser by trade, make the most of him while you can as word is his missus plans to ban him from playing next year! Kingy – a fearsome defender and king of the team banter. Kingy has stepped into the back line on numerous occasions so far this season and has put in tough, dogged performances. An organiser on the pitch and an organiser off it as he showed in arranging the whole Christmas do which was an absolute corker! John Glenn – a talented footballer who, unfortunately for OH, had an ridiculously early mid-life crisis and decided his career lay in the mountains of France. Rumoured to be a closet monk of all things, OH are unsure as to whether John has gone to do his supposed ski-season or is seeking the monestary in the French mountains that he has had his eye on since watching the beginning of Batman Begins. James Kilby – owing to injuries OH haven’t seen much of this man yet although he is still angry at Will Reidy for trying to steal his goal on the line away to Westminster. Reidy denies this adding “I didn’t try to steal it – I did steal it and so my goal tally has risen to 11 over the Christmas period!” Andy Evans – officially voted the most childish member of the team by a very unofficial vote for hilarious moaning sessions at the ref, Evan’s solid graft in centre-midfield/defence has been essential to OH’s progression this season. Big challenges, champion mud-slinging, a calming voice and unstoppable free-kicks have shown that 2007 will be a big year for Evans. Old Bill – one week arresting criminals on Saturday afternoons, the next spent dressed in the colours of OH. Having weighed in with a couple of goals already and having the ability to move from left-back to centre-forward for the remainder of the game in the blink of an eye, Bill’s versatility has provided Steve and Keen with numerous selection headaches this season. Rob Vellosa – currently annoying Reidy by staying too close on his tail with his goals tally, Vellosa has arguably been the driving force in OH’s team this year. A consistent performer, Rob has currently got six goals to his name despite Reidy’s letters to the league asking for two to be rescinded, sighting goalkeeping own-goals as the problem! Smudger – with bags of charm and bags of petrol in his engine, Smudge has been vital for OH. Signed on Russ’s recommendation, the blonde-haired battler has taken a year out from filming Home Alone 3 to make sure OH gain promotion. Rumour has it that he has also cancelled any further Milky-Bar Kid adverts due to ribbing from OH team-mates. Keeno – angry on the pitch and even angrier at half-time but my God this anger brings out the best in the man. Dangerous balls into the box have become his trade-mark during the season and he has adapted to the role of manager with aplomb. A good player and a gent, Keen has taught the OH boys a thing or two about Orson Welles this year. Russ – a hero in most minds until a despairing dive that took three hours to complete led to a disastrous result for OH against Old Salopians. However, blame cannot be apportioned to Russ here as his driving runs and slick skills have carved open many an opposition defence so far. Fiery meetings over the Christmas period have seen OH management demand more assists from Russ but, as always, OH are sure he will not fail to deliver. Chris Reidy – having heard of his younger brother’s growing influence in Hertfordshire, Chris returned home early from travelling to resolve the matter. Still in a state of crisis he has even paid for a select group of OH players to go to Warsaw for the New Year having made them sign a contract that states they will now like him more than his younger brother - corruption still blights our beautiful game! Rico – a playboy. Genuine as a player and genuine as a man, Rico has been a massive player for OH this year. Rico has scored important goals so far, notably a great header earlier in the season. Currently down in the OH record books for being the most decorated player in the clubs history, Rico has rightly assumed that this award has been granted for the amount of ice he dons around his neck and knuckles upon entering the field of play. Tom Nichols – a child prodigy in more than just football, Tom has excelled this season. A handful of goals and a lot of hard-work has seen Tom earn the respect of his fellow OH team-mates although he is currently being investigated by Bill for stealing Will Reidy’s ring for an extended period. Forget the Harry Potter tag, Tom’s all-action performances are sure to lead to bigger roles including a starring role alongside Schwarzenegger in the up and coming movie Twins 2. Will Reidy – introduced to OH as a man living off cold beers and hotdogs, Will came to the team with a lot to prove. Running feuds with the likes of Russ ‘Butterfingers’ Jones have not derailed him from his mission of goals and will only spur him on to double the ten he has scored so far. A lover of all things onion bag, Will is loving his time at OH although strikers come and go and he is sure to be asking for an improved contract having seen the size of Dave Hart’s bulging wallet. So that's it so far, a great first half to the season, let's get back to winning ways on Saturday and start climbing the league again!