2nd December 2006 Old Habs 4-4 Old Salopians (Reidy 3, Evans 1) The son of a singing superstar, adored by millions of knicker-throwing women, not half a bad singer and currently dating one of the finest specimens ever to have come out of Russia – Enrique Iglesias really is something special. And so in recognition of his superstardom status the Old Habs boys can be forgiven for being a little excited at this superior joining them in the Summer running up to the 2006/07 season – Rasol Yalaki really has been a find. The long introduction really is warranted by his defence-splitting ball played under huge pressure in the 95th minute of the last OH fixture against Salopians. Never have I seen such guided use of the outside of a right boot since my hard upbringing on the streets of the Uxbridge Road, outside ‘Sea Pebbles’ Fish and Chip Shop, Hatch End. Ras’s ball led to the 4-4 draw OH had been pushing for, but, if admittedly, a result they should not have had to rescue from the jaws of a potentially disastrous defeat. A slow start led to a two-goal lead for the visitors, who, by their own admission, would have been surprised on the back of five straight league defeats. Loose balls and a lack of vocals were hampering the OH cause. On that note we should look to the influential words of one Orson Welles who, after stating that ‘the battle of Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton’ famously stated that ‘it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t make sense – just make some noise!’ Unfortunately for OH, the noise bellowing from Stevo’s raging lungs made only too much sense at half-time. Perhaps a little concussed from the this vocal rollicking bordering on GBH from the director of the Truman Show, OH started the second half with three new faces. However, it must be said that stories have been heard about managers throwing the sandwich trays at players but it surely had to have been the first half-time when players have found themselves cowering from flying crutches and plaster-casts. Another free-kick, another scrambled goal and OH were three down. Yet chances were coming and the hard-working Rico had a bullet header just over the bar. The pendulum was swinging and not just on the playboy Rico’s chain that the ref demanded he take off! Then came Will Reidy’s favourite part of the day – Goal time! Raz whipped in a dangerous ball and Reidy, slightly put off by the goalkeeper’s apparent lack of interest in anything to do with football and consequently taking this as a sign of disrespect, placed both the big boy and the ball in the back of a soggy Salopian net. Minutes later and it was 3-2. Again Rico, a little lighter footed now he no longer had the ice around his neck, made his way into the area and after a great challenge by a Salopian centre-back the ref somehow gave a penalty. Keeno’s over exuberance led to a re-take but Reidy calmly stuck the second away. Although it has to be said that Reidy was a little annoyed again with the unprofessional attitude of their keeper who freely gave up the ball following the goal instead of getting involved in the tussle for the ball that all keepers should do with a striker who wants to grab it out of the onion bag and continue the fight back. Indeed this fight back was on, especially with the visitors down to 10 men, but Shuey had other ideas. After a great last–ditch challenge that the ref deemed unacceptable, Shuey was sent off for removing the legs, arms and finally the head from the Salopian centre-forward. It was a cruel punishment for such a meticulous execution only of which we would have seen more regularly had we been men of Barbarian times. Russ replaced and immediately received Stephen Spielberg’s business card after a heroic point-blank save. Although that card was immediately returned to the latter’s office when Russ’s outrageous attempt of a dive ended in the visitors taking a 4-2 lead. Surely they couldn’t draw level – Andy Evans had other ideas. After swapping names (at least a reported ten times), phone numbers and common courtesies with the ref after a bone crunching challenge by the former, Evans found himself teed up by Keeno for an OH’s free-kick. ‘Steamer’ is the word that has to be used. The stanchion/sticky tape shuddered and it was 4-3. The ref on the other hand thought it was still 4-2 and said that the kick had been direct. Although some may say that the ref changed his mind after an honest account of the situation by a Salopian defender, I’m more inclined to go with public opinion that it was a tearful, on bended knee Evans offering the ref his BMW to ensure the goal was given that explains the award of the scud missile. Russ’s never-ending goal-kick was causing relentless problems for the visitors and finally Salopian’s resolve broke. A poor clearance found Iglesias who, whilst seemingly miming the words to his hit song “Hero” in slow motion as he cut the defence open, became OH’s hero as he played in Reidy to round off a twenty-five minute hat trick. All in all the result was a sense of relief but one that should not have been felt by the hearts of fourteen OH players who’s minds were clearly preoccupied on Shuey’s impending court-case on the 18th December to defend himself against charges of murder relating to an unfortunate Salopian stiker.