Essay No. 26
Nursery Drill
BY
Lady Massie Blomfield
MY DEAR MOTHERS, — I think you may not be aware that a feeling of alarm is growing up amongst many thinking people about the want of discipline to be found amongst so many of our children of all classes.
It will be very hard to do anything for those who have already grown up without having been trained to a sense of duty by early discipline, yet much can be done by mothers for their little children if they would only try and bring them up in the good old ways which seem nearly forgotten.
I know it is the fashion nowadays to despise all the older methods practised by our fathers and grand¬fathers, and to claim that the new ways of bringing up children suit the wants of the day. When we look around us, however, we find the results deplor¬able. There are some things that never grow old—those which we call the "Eternal Truths." Since the beginning of the world, mothers have brought forth children, and had to train them up to take their part in the battle of life; but in those older days I think
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that mothers in general felt their responsibilities much more than they do now. Life did not move so fast, and was a simpler one, and children were healthier and, I believe, often happier; they were certainly far less troublesome and more obedient to their parents. Now, can you tell me why it is that things are so much worse than they used to be in
this respect ? It is not altogether our children's
fault, of that I am quite sure. There has certainly come about a change which is greatly to be deplored, and must be the result of these new methods, which are no methods at all. Are you quite sure that you can control your children and make them obey you ? From what I hear on every side many amongst all classes seem to have lost the power of control over the children, and depend on outside help to manage them.
Can you believe that this is a right state of things ? In your hearts, do you not think that it is the mother's duty to bring up her children in habits of obedience from their earliest days ? If we really loved them and felt that we were truly responsible to God and our country for their right bringing-up, we would certainly try kindly but firmly to train them day by day—by loving words, and, if need be, by mild punishments—to obey us, and that instantly and without any questioning. Self-control and self-discipline should be the objects aimed at, but a thin, soft, bedroom slipper without a heel has often been
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found a useful and sufficient assistant if obedience cannot be obtained without it.
A morning drill, before the children are dressed, is an excellent way of beginning the systematic training of the will of the child, and this is particu¬larly useful when begun at an early age. By this morning drill, which ought to last from five to thirty minutes—according to the age of the children—you get them accustomed to obey smartly the words of command, and so train brain and limbs to work quickly and easily together. These baby soldiers will quite enjoy their lesson in obedience and alert¬ness. I have watched with much pleasure and in¬terest little boys of from four to six years of age in different parts of England imitating the scout patrols. This training of scouts and lads' brigades is doing a splendid work in undoing the mothers' home-spoiling. You must have seen and noticed all these things yourselves; therefore, cannot you begin in the very earliest stage to train the wills of these poor little darlings, who are quite ready and willing to obey even their bigger brothers ? You will find it quite easy if you do it every day, and at the same hour. But you must not let anything else interfere with this daily drill, and you will find the little ones greatly enjoy the daily lesson.
Now, the first words of command are "Stand up " (and insist on a smart obedience), then " Atten¬- ion " (heels together, head up, shoulders back, hands
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by side), "Salute" (hand to the forehead), "Hands behind head," "Hands on shoulders," "Quick march," "Right turn," "Left turn," "Right about turn " (turn right round), "High step," "Double" (running), "Halt," etc. During this morning drill do not scold the child, nor even talk to him, nor must you allow the child to talk during the drill lesson. If the child, however, wishes to speak to you, it must first salute, and then you give it leave to do so. Please remember that the little girls must be drilled along with the little boys, as they require to be taught obedience and alertness quite as much as their brothers. You will soon find that this morn¬ing drill will give you the control over your children which you lack. It will, therefore, help you as well as your boys and girls, and when you have once obtained obedience the rest will follow naturally.
But the drill lesson will not cover all the ground lost, and there will be many other points in character to be looked into and corrected before you can train up your children as good citizens in every sense of the word. You will have to study each child, and find out his weak spot. One child is greedy or passionate, one is lazy or sulks, another restless, an¬other is a grumbler and for ever whining and crying. None of these faults should be allowed. If you don't correct your child according to his particular fault, remember he will suffer for it in the cold, cruel world later on, and through his own mother's neglect to
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do her duty by him 1 Just think over this a little. It will be your fault entirely if, when he (or she) has left your care, he finds himself disliked and made unhappy in his life.
The greedy child must never be allowed to take
anything that is not given him by either his parents or nurses. It is a good plan so to train the child that it will never touch a "sweetie," though it may be quite close to it.
If a child is naturally lazy, you might give it
extra high-step drill, which is laborious, as it must bring up the knee above the thigh of either leg in turn. Such an exercise is excellent for the indolent boy or girl. Skipping backwards is especially good for girls, also practising court curtsies is recom-mended.
If you have a particularly restless child—what is
called a "flibberty-gibbet "—after seeing that it has plenty of occupation and outlet for its energies, occasionally make it sit perfectly still for a few seconds. Nothing is more irritating than a fussy, uneasy person, who is always disturbing others.
The whining child, too, who never can enjoy any-
thing himself, nor allow other people to do so either, becomes the grumbler in after life. This whining and crying habit, when not the result of suffering or illness, must also be firmly checked.
Look about you and compare the happy, joyous children, who have been taught to obey from the
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earliest days, with those who have been spoiled by a foolish "fondness " (a most mistaken form of affec¬tion), and you will think, I trust, more earnestly of their future welfare, and how it depends on your¬selves if they turn out good men and women.
By petting our children, and giving them every-thing they cry for, we lay up a store of misery for ourselves and them, and by giving in to their wills we gradually allow them to become absolutely, our masters. As they grow older we find we can do nothing with them, and are glad to send these "young Turks " to school to be managed by others at an age when they ought still to be under home influence and a mother's loving, but wise, care.
Now, can we honestly believe that this state of affairs arises from a real affection for our children ? Alas, no I But from either laziness or mistaken kindness. We have spoiled them, in fact, to such an extent that we are glad to get rid of them. It requires both self-control on our own part to be able to control our children, and also much patience and regularity to carry on this wholesome training which has been recommended to you in these pages. But I assure you that if you try your very best to carry
out the plan which I have described to you above, you will be fully repaid by the happy change in your children. Our boys will, not grow up into the loafers and loungers we see around us amongst the rich as well as the poor, men whose whole aim in
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life seems to be to amuse themselves, and to let their parents provide them with pocket-money, which they spend in music-halls or gambling, or on the football fields. Too many girls are ashamed to work hard at anything, to go into service, or, as they put it, to "dirty their hands." They dress up in cheap German finery, and imagine themselves the heroines of silly sixpenny novels. In the richer classes far too many spend all the afternoons, and the evenings till midnight, gambling at bridge, and try to get themselves out of debt by further gambling on the Stock Exchange. Can we honestly say that the young people, as a whole, are a credit to our great country ?
Just look at the slouching louts and undersized wastrels we see everywhere nowadays who pride themselves on the "liberty of the free-born Briton " ! This freedom of to-day is no more nor no less than licence and libertinism. The excess of anything degenerates into a fault.
And on whom must we lay the blame for this alarming state of affairs—a condition which points to the ruin of our great race of Britons ? Alas ! to our shame be it spoken, we must in large measure blame ourselves. We have "spared the rod and spoiled the child." A little more hardness in training our children in the early days would have prevented many of these sad failures we see in all walks of life.
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Remember that our young children are as wax in our hands, and that we must bend their wills to ours whilst they are still babies in arms. If we don't sow the good seed early, we shall "reap the whirl¬wind." Let us awake to a sense of the great duty God Almighty has placed in our hands as mothers ! Our country looks to us for the future men and women of England, and we must face this fact courageously, and realise that we shall be to blame for much of the vice and misery which is ruining our people and the future of the Empire if we permit our children to grow up without discipline.
Let us be strict and just, as well as kind, in bringing up our dear little ones, and we shall be repaid a thousandfold, and a day will come when "they will rise up and bless us."
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