I am aware that it is not my habit, but I am the bearer of good news.

The Great Newspaper Famine is over. Nobody died.

Simples!

Mrs GOM answered a knock at the door yesterday to be confronted by a gent enquiring if we would like the newspapers delivered each day. 'Sure thing pal, but whit's the score here?' she enquired.

This enterprising chap had heard that deliveries had been cut and got a copy of the delivery rounds from the evil newsagent. He was now on a sales drive to sign up the names on the list at the acceptable rate of £2 per week. I have no doubt that he will be supplied with newspapers by the evil newsagent, thus setting up the perfect ending to the deadlock.

1. The new Richard Branson is on his way with a venture into the media distribution business.

2. The evil newsagent still gets his cut supplying the papers.

3. The Grumpy Old Household continues to get the papers delivered.

So everyone is happy, right?

Aye right. Just watch this space.