Call centre conversations! 

Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1200 for two days and can't get through; can you help?' 
Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?' 
Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.' 
Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.' 
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Samsung Electronics 
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?' 
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.' 
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I 
need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and 
telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the 
number for Jack?' 
Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.' 
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RAC Motoring Services 
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am 
travelling inn Australia?' 
Operator: 'Does the product name give you a clue?' 
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Directory Inquiries 
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please' 
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?' 
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off the sign.' 
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Caller: 'Can you find me the company named "Woven"? 
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?' 
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland.' 
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from 
a phone box told a worried operator: 

'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.' 
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Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.' 
Customer: 'OK.' 
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?' 
Customer: 'No.' 
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?' 
Customer: 'No.' 
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'

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 Tech Support: 'OK... At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?' 
Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?' 
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Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. 
So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?' (seems reasonable to me) 
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This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.' 


Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. 
(Now I know why they record these conversations!): 

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?' 
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect...' 
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??' 
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words 
went away.' 
Operator: 'Went away?' 
Caller: 'They disappeared' 
Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?' 
Caller: 'Nothing.' 
Operator: 'Nothing??' 
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.' 
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?' 
Caller: 'How do I tell?' 
Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?' 
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?' 
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?' 
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.' 
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??' 
Caller: 'What's a monitor?' 
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. 
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?' 
Caller: 'I don't know.' 
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??' 
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.' 
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. 
Caller: 'Yes, it is.' 
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? ‘
Caller: 'No.' 
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.' 
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.' 
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.' 
Caller: 'I can't reach.' 
Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?' 
Caller: 'No.' 
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.' 
Operator: 'Dark?' 
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.' 
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.' 
Caller: 'I can't.' 
Operator: 'No? Why not?' 
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.' 
Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?' 
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.' 
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it... Then take it back to the store you bought it from.' 
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?' 
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.' 
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?' 
Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'