Terminal cancer patient Phatt Prankie Phunk asks for the hand of his long-term partner, Anne. She is virulently against marriage (Phrankie says ‘even gay marriage, in Brighton, can you imagine?’), but because they have a home, a business, pensions, insurances, etc., it will be easier for Anne to sort out their affairs post-mortem if they are married.

She sets a condition, however - that Phatt Phrankie Phunk must get his 80’s band, The Breaking Wave, to play at the wedding reception. This is Phatt Phrankie’s Quest, the successful conclusion of which wins the hand of the princess.

Last night, after six months writing, I reached the night before the Big Day. My writing tip today is just turn up and sit in front of your text as much as you can. Five months till publication, and I’m 2/3rds through. Fingers crossed I reach the finish line!

One of the bands listed above is the original model for the Breaking Wave, btw, 40 years ago next week.

And just writing ‘the story so far’ calls this to mind. Late period Paddy, singing about proper things.

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IAN MARCHANT

MAY 4

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