A Familiar Scenario…..Facebook….. Sea Eagles….. From ‘Emergence’ Magazine’….
by Bernie Bell - 08:32 on 22 November 2023
A Familiar Scenario…
Wise words from Matthew Manning…
https://www.facebook.com/matthewmanningukhealer/?locale=en_GB
“10 STAGES OF THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN A NARCISSIST AND AN EMPATH
People who are poles apart might be drawn together for all the wrong reasons.
Narcissists, for example, are attracted to people they will get the greatest use from. Often, this means they pursue and target empaths. Empaths are the opposite of narcissists. While people with narcissistic personality disorder have no empathy, and thrive on the need for admiration, empaths are highly sensitive and in tune with other people’s emotions. It’s a ‘toxic’ attraction destined for disaster.
Understanding the dynamics of a relationship involving a narcissist and an empath can be quite challenging and these are the ten different stages that define these relationships:
1.At the beginning of the relationship, the narcissist is often charming and magnetic, drawing the empath in with their charisma. The empath’s empathic nature makes them highly receptive to the narcissist’s initial facade, which is carefully constructed to mirror the empath’s desires.
2. As the relationship progresses, the empath forms a deep emotional connection with the narcissist. They genuinely believe they can help the narcissist overcome their insecurities and provide the love and understanding they need.
3. Over time, the narcissist’s facade begins to crack, revealing their true self. They may exhibit manipulative behaviour, selfishness, and a lack of empathy. The empath, however, often makes excuses for the narcissist’s behaviour, blaming external factors.
4. The empath starts to feel emotionally drained as they continually give more than they receive. The narcissist exploits the empath’s willingness to care and support, leaving them feeling depleted and unappreciated.
5. The narcissist becomes even more manipulative, using tactics like making the empath feel guilty, distorting reality, or emotionally blackmailing them to stay in control. The empath, who always seeks to keep things peaceful, becomes more submissive as a result.
6. The empath reaches a breaking point. They begin to recognise the destructive nature of the relationship and question their own worth. This stage can be emotionally painful for the empath, but it’s a turning point.
7. Escaping from the narcissist is a tough task. The empath’s wish to assist and make things better conflicts with the understanding that the narcissist may never change. They might try to leave the relationship multiple times but struggle to actually go through with it.
8. The empath eventually makes the choice to end the harmful relationship. During this stage, they embark on a journey of self-discovery and healing. They discover how to establish boundaries and make their own wellbeing a top priority.
9. After the relationship ends, the empath starts to put their life back together. They pay attention to self-care, work on personal growth, and build healthier relationships. This stage is essential for regaining emotional strength.
10. In the last stage, the empath gains a sense of empowerment and resilience. They come out of the experience stronger and wiser. They discover how to shield themselves from harmful people and develop a higher sense of self-worth.
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Facebook….
I resisted Facebook for years, then I succumbed – here’s why…. http://www.spanglefish.com/berniesblog/blog.asp?blogid=16487
I’ve found that it has much in its favour - some things not so much in its favour - but I’m using it as I choose to. However, a response was posted to the above item when I posted it on my FB page, which I found to be un-settling. Excessively flattering - I don’t respond well to flattery - sincere compliments from someone who knows me – yes - flattery from a stranger raises question marks in my mind.
At first I thought I’d ignore it – but this is a person – saying something to me – possibly well intentioned, tho’ mistaken in his approach - so I did respond, saying I wasn’t prepared to make the connection.
And now I get to the point – this set me off wondering – do people maybe even purposely set up a Facebook page with content which will appeal, to induce a positive response from the kind of individual that they are hoping to contact? I’m not implying that the person who was so excessively ‘nice’ to me was doing that – it just set me off wondering, and maybe gave me an insight into some of the ‘darker’ sides of Facebook.
I won’t get drawn into that kind of scenario – my life and my personality mean that that is very far from being likely to happen. But I’m aware that there are vulnerable people out there who might be tempted – or simply disturbed - by such an approach.
If someone is among your Facebook ‘friends’, you will either know them or know someone who knows them – otherwise – exercise caution. Facebook is a strange and unreal world – the world is a strange and unreal word – getting more so every day – exercise caution in how you deal with it.
If you’re in need of company – look up a local group that you can join – where there is some ‘safety in numbers’ as the old Music Hall song said.
I have to admit that it ruffled me as - tho’ sometimes appearances might indicate the contrary – I am vulnerable too.
I thought I’d write this to ….
One – ask folk to be more care-full in how they approach people as they could make an already un-settled person feel more un-settled.
Two – if you’re not happy with how someone approaches you – say so politely and step away.
PS
The ‘person’ who sent me a questionable message sent me exactly the same message again, on a different post. I suspect that he has a standard flattering message that he sends out, hoping to ‘catch’ someone, sometime.
I have now blocked him.
I’m still learning, about Facebook – and that world out there that I try not to be part of!
Please, people, exercise caution – there are wolves in sheep’s clothing. Nothing against wolves – just an expression!
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Sea Eagles…..
I won’t even attempt to add my tuppenceworth, as Sigurd has written a most excellent account…..
https://www.nessofbrodgar.co.uk/sea-eagle-bone/
I will however, remember fondly the glory days of the Eagle Cairn, as written of previously – many times…..
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“Eagle Cairn Artefacts….
https://www.orkney.com/news/tomb-of-the-eagles-artefacts
I admit that I don’t intend to go to see them – I know that I would get emotional seeing them in that situation – just my personal response. For those who never saw them where they were, or who aren’t as daft as me - fair enough – great things to see and find out about.
I’ve previously written about this in m’blog, as follows…….
“The Eagle Cairn…
Here’s a co-incidence…..on Thursday, I had an exchange with someone I know who was remembering his visit to the Tomb of the Eagles 35 years ago, and how much being able to actually handle the artefacts, especially the human bones, left a lasting impression on him – he wrote….
“I was shown that women's foreheads showed clear signs of a life of toil, carrying heavy loads with a head rope, and distorted feet from continual use of querns. It's an experience you never forget.”
And I replied….
“The Tomb of the Eagles closed for Lockdown, then when there was a possibility of re-opening the family who own and care for the site decided that they wouldn’t re-open.
There is talk of the artefacts going to Tankerness House Museum – which I feel would be a shame, as Kirkwall is quite a distance from the Cairn and the folk who lived and live there. Of course, the cairn will still be there being what it is and what it has been for millennia – but the experience of visiting - and connecting, will be gone.
Mike and I went back for a last visit, but I didn’t write of the visit for public consumption, as it was too personal.”
Then, on Friday on the Orkney Archaeology Society Facebook page I saw this…..
Here are my past ramblings about the place I refer to as The Eagle Cairn…
Bernie Bell: Orkney Walks (with stories) – The Eagle Cairn
An Appreciation of John Hedges: An Archaeologist
I have mixed feelings – very mixed feelings.”
Jim Crumley’s response to the Eagle Cairn as described here….
https://theorkneynews.scot/2021/07/29/a-tale-of-the-eagle-cairn/
…very much chimes with me.
‘A Bird In The Hand’ by McB
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And also in a previous blog post……
“I’m sorry to say that the Eagle Cairn is no longer open to the public – but a walk to the site along the South Ronaldsay East Coast path is still A GOOD THING to do….
Map of walking in South Ronaldsay
If you approach from Winwick, you will be near to the Iron Age site at The Cairns…. https://theorkneynews.scot/2017/07/20/bernie-bells-orkney-walks-winwick-to-halcro-head/“
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From ‘Emergence’ Magazine’….
“Corn Tastes Better on the Honor System
by Robin Wall Kimmerer
“I hold in my hand the multicolored fruit of collective genius, an agreement between sun, soil, water, plant, and farmer. They have entered into a covenant of reciprocity: if the maize will take care of the people, the people will care for the maize.”
Long before settlers arrived in North America, Indigenous scientists were nurturing and collaborating with the land that nurtured them: thoughtfully selecting and cross-breeding plants, creating polycultures of complementary species, applying traditional treatments to harvests to reinforce their nutritional content. These practices embrace a sense of mutual flourishing, a primordial covenant of reciprocity between people and plants. With unsustainable industrial practices—GMOs, monoculture, use of toxic fertilizers––continuing to dominate the landscape of agriculture, stripping plants and animals of personhood and power, what would it mean to return to a relationship in which humans and the land take care of each other?
As we approach Thanksgiving this year, we are sharing one of our favorite features: “Corn Tastes Better on the Honor System,” by Potawatomi mother, scientist, and professor Robin Wall Kimmerer, with intricate illustrations and stop-motion animations made of hand-folded paper, by Suus Hessling. Taking us through maize’s nine-thousand-year history, Robin reflects on the ancient circle of reciprocity and collaboration that links this plant with humans, and considers what has been severed in this once deeply sacred relationship.”
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Here’s one I made earlier…. https://theorkneynews.scot/2022/03/01/a-different-kind-of-rock-art-part-five/
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