More.......
A husbands nightmare...
A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.
Proceeding into the house, he found an even bigger mess.
A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door .
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried....she may be ill, or that something serious had happened.
He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bath room door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."
THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken
back because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, 'Do you know me?' To which she replies,
'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and asks, 'Are you the
stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery??? '
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No ........ I'm your son's teacher.
