I have heard it said that Councillor Andrew Jenkins (Neath South) and Councillor Rob James (Bryncoch South) look remarkably alike. So I thought readers would be interested to see these images of both. Make your own mind up.
Councillor Jenkins Councillor James
But STaN would like to put forward a theory, one that has been bugging him for a considerable time. What if they are both the same bloke - I mean two separate bodies, clearly, but identical in DNA? Could it be that they have been cloned in the same Labour laboratory - from the same test tube even? Has the Labour Party been conducting some ghastly experiment on the poor people of Neath? Well I think we know the answer to that one, don't we.
Prospective Councillors from Neath's Labour Cloning Laboratory practise a day out canvassing
"Now Comrades, repeat after me:
Tories are scum. Let's kick 'em out. Tories are evil. Come on boys, SHOUT!
Tories close factories. Tories shut pits. Even to blame for your wife's saggy tits.
Tories are bastards. They'll make you do work. Vote Labour, stay poor - don't be a berk...."
And so ad infinitum.
------------------------------------------
Look at the evidence. Two guys appear out of nowhere on the local political scene at the same time, both look remarkably alike, both endorsed by Gwenda Thomas, former AM (who was that then?). Both represent the Labour Party. Both stand for a seat in the same ward. Both are keen to use the new social media. Both set up websites. Both "do" Twitter and use Facebook. Both determined it seems to make politics a full time career. Both went to Swansea University in the latter part of the 2000's, where they both took Bachelor of Arts degrees. Then both followed it up with Master of Arts qualifications early in the 2010's - again in Swansea. Someone grab a sample of the hair from both and I'll pay for a DNA test - these guys are cloned.
Do not dismiss this theory too quickly. In Aberavon I've already written about the Extra-Terrestrial that successfully wormed its way into the political scene there and has seemingly got away with it.
http://www.spanglefish.com/stan/news.asp?intent=viewstory&newsid=85416
Conspiracy theories - don't you love 'em.
-----------------------------------
STaN has also picked up from the copious social media posts of other Labour councillors in NPT that they too are morphing into each other. Some councillors are growing similar facial hair (no, not the female ones - yet; they are still obviously using their Gillettes) and apparently wearing almost identical posh dark overcoats, scarves, white shirts and red ties. Wives are being photographed in the top eating houses, wearing broad smiles and fancy clothes, in order to sell to the world at large an image of domestic and romantic bliss and social success.
Anyone who knows the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune that is real life will know that this is a mirage, a con-trick, a chimera, being played out on those who are dull enough to be taken in by it. No-one's life can be anything other than a rollercoaster. Up and down, good and bad, rough and smooth, yin and yang. I'm offering a bottle of (empty) Bollinger to the first Labour councillor from NPT to go on to social media and say, "Me and the Mrs had a right old barney last night. We went out, the food we had was shite, the beer was warm, the wine was corked and the company we were in would have bored the tits off a nun." OK - I realise you can't say all that in the 140 characters allowed on Twitter but I could help you distill it down if you wanted.
But this charade that social media posters have about life being all hunky-dory, well it's obviously catching some idiots - otherwise, why would they be imitating each other?
Coming back to the Labour Cloning Laboratory before I finish, does anyone know where it is? They say you can pinpoint a cannabis farm by the amount of electricity it is using for keeping the plants warm - don't they use special lights? Any cloning lab must similarly use a lot of energy, I'd have thought, keeping all those little clones warm, nurturing them, giving them all i-pads to practise on before being let out on the unsuspecting public. So my bet is it's in 39 Windsor Road where for years the gas and electricity bills have been astronomical. And what better trick could the Labour Party play on the public than to have us all pay for the privilege of them mass producing cloned councillors for us. You couldn't make it up!
