Sheep throughout Wales have been bleating their discontent this week. They have flocked together to condemn the proposals of an independent Vet to grant an increase in the annual food allocation for some of their fellow animals in Cardiff. They are concerned that despite assurances to the contrary, the proposals will be rammed through.
The Vet has proposed an extra 10 cwts of carrots a year for the donkeys who are kept in Cardiff Bay in the Senedd Donkey Sanctuary. That is an increase of almost 18% from 54 cwts a year to 64 cwts. A consultation process will first take place and if all goes through OK then the increase will take effect in 2016.
The Vet said that the suggested increase in carrots reflected an increase in responsibility as more work for Donkeys was being devolved to Wales. But it has emerged there was wide-spread disquiet among the Donkeys themselves over the move.
"Carrying Stones", in his capacity as Donkey leader, brayed: "I was as surprised as anyone at the proposals we have seen come forward. I recognise of course in these difficult times how other farm animals will feel about this and I can't see how we could support the proposals as they stand.
"However, we should not attack the Vet. He is independent of the Westminster Farm and of the Donkey Sanctuary, and this process was established with cross-species support of all the donkeys, asses and mules in Cardiff.
"It is now for us to respond to the consultation process - I know that the "Hard Labour" Group has already aired their concerns about the headline proposals and will be responding formally, to the full report, in due course."
Some Donkeys dubbed the proposals as outrageous and shocking, while one Jack said he'd find it difficult to look sheep and cattle in the eye if he accepted the carrots.
Another Jack Donkey said he was embarrassed by the proposal. He whinnied to ITV Cymru Wales' Sharp End programme: “My honest feeling is that Donkeys' carrots should be linked to a particular grade of food allocation in the Farm collective, and that's it.
“We shouldn’t be constantly reviewing our carrot allowances. We need to move away from that sort of process.
“I was at a picket fence-line not so long ago supporting friends and colleagues who were struggling for a decent swede. I feel enormously embarrassed.”
One leading Jenny guffawed she'd only accept the award if everyone in Wales was paid the living wage of 7.85 carrots an hour.
Another Jenny nodded and said that her Donkey Group will tell the Vet that they think the proposal is inappropriate. She whined: “I think it's outrageous.
“It’s unjustifiable to suggest that with a small increase in workload there should be a massive increase in carrots. Everybody else has had to take those increases on the chin in the last few years.
“What kind of animals are attracted to this kind of job by carrots, and do we really want a Donkey class that’s made up of beasts who are here just for the fodder ? No, we absolutely do not.”
Another Jack hee-hawed, “There’s no way I am going to go to the local market and argue for a ten cwts carrot increase. I think that would be completely outrageous and I don’t think the other farm animals would stand for it.
“At the end of the day we need a settlement for Donkeys which is fair to Donkeys and fair to the rest of the Animals, and means we can, as Donkeys, be safe to go out of our stables without getting tomatoes hurled at us.”
Presumably, he would be happy if the Animals tossed a turnip or cabbage though.
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STAN SAYS:
It has been suggested that increasing the carrot allowance for these Donkeys will somehow result in getting a better class of Donkey into the Sanctuary. That argument doesn't stack up to me. Surely, if you make carrots too big an attraction for Donkeys then the first in the queue will be the greediest ones not necessarily the best suited.
And when you think about it, it's ironic that all the carrots being fed to the Sanctuary Donkeys are produced by Animals outside. They labour hard in the cold to receive about a third of the carrots on average that a Sanctuary Donkey gets. The Sanctuary Donkeys actually produce sweet FA - in fact I bet most of them never grew a carrot when outside the Sanctuary either. They are surely on to a good thing.
It has also been suggested that those in the Donkey Sanctuary possess special skills. From what I see, these consist of being able to bray loudly, being stubborn and cussed on occasions, and having a really thick coat. That's nothing special. You can find loads of Donkeys still pulling ploughs outside that have got those. In fact there's a Donkey I know near Aberdulais that has all those attributes. No - its name isn't Peter, at least as far as I know. It lives in a field with two goats near the Ynysbwllog Aqueduct on the Neath Canal. And it's grateful if you chuck it a handful of grass. Give it just one carrot, it thinks its birthday has come.
Before Donkeys can go to the Sanctuary the other Animals have to give them their support. However, history has shown that in parts of Wales the Sheep are easily swayed. They can suffer a special form of colour blindness, a monochromism, which may result in them being attracted to a Donkey wearing red. Lots of greedy Donkeys have collared on to this fact and will wear red, even though they may prefer other colours. You see - these Donkeys aren't as dull as they look after all!
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