There was an evening's entertainment in Newtownabbey in County Antrim, Northern Ireland on 19 November 2014, put on through Clive Conway Productions, the celebrity motivational speakers' agency. It was "An Audience with Peter Hain". I'm wondering if the choice of venue was deliberate, a stone's throw from the heart of Belfast, in view of Hain's previous work in the province. Perhaps the promoters felt that the many friends Hain claims to have made there would put bums on seats and he'd have performed to a packed house.

However there was a problem, not in getting a ticket but in pre-booked ticket sales. I reckon we should blame those nasty Tories and treacherous LibDems for the wicked austerity they have imposed throughout the land. Out of a 400 seat capacity in the theatre (the Theatre at the Mill), free parking, plus no online surcharge for buying tickets, on 19 November itself there were still 327 seats remaining according to the booking site. I wonder if another newspaper article has already been penned for the Guardian by Peter Hain, taking the Government to task because their policies are preventing hardworking people from being able to afford to go to the theatre (and see him). Now allowing for Hain's family, his entourage, and Gerry and Martin's families as well maybe, it doesn't seem there was much of a take up from elsewhere. I've even wondered if one of the seats was booked by Hain for Howard "The Talisman" Davies, to help him wind down after recent events in Neath. The Talisman may be licking his wounds as a result of the parachute he was allegedly guiding into the town a few weeks ago failing to open. A talisman is something which is believed to produce magical or miraculous effects. In the light of the Mabel McKeown result, and if the stuff I've been reading in the Morning Star is true, Hain may need to consider renaming his faithful old friend.

Tickets to see Hain varied from £11 to £15 and perhaps that was pushing it a bit, what with Christmas just around the corner. But fair's fair, maybe there was a last minute rush for tickets at the door. Let's hope so for Hain's sake because he is on a good number with Clive Conway - being paid £1,000 for his last performance with them earlier this year. Curiously enough it was in Belfast again. So by my reckoning, with just 73 tickets sold, it barely covered Hain's fees.  Clive Conway may have to reconsider or renegotiate the contract they have with the multi-talented MP if things carry on in this vein. Hain usually can't wait to tweet or put something on his website when he's done something "extra-Westminster". Funny though - nothing written by him about his evening there. I wonder why?

Interestingly enough, what other well known current political figure do you think is doing the rounds with Clive Conway at the moment? Well, it's the UKIP leader Nigel Farage, who is on their books as well. On 11 November he appeared at the Gaiety Theatre in Douglas, the Isle of Man. His tickets were more expensive and varied from £17.50 to £20.50 and by 6 November most of the tickets had been sold - except the theatre's substantially bigger, with an 800 seat capacity. I'm not surprised because love him or hate him, in my opinion Farage would be a much more interesting person to spend a few hours' company in than Hain.

With Farage, even though his views on the EU are well known, you would go there in anticipation of wondering what other gems he might come out with next. Whereas with Hain, let's be honest, we know the script. Mandela, apartheid and Stop the Tour. Fascists, racists and bigots. Eton millionaires and the Westminster bubble. Severn Barrage, Lewis Hamilton, I was made a scapegoat with the Deputy Leadership battle, and a great win for Chelsea at the weekend. Damn it! I know the spiel so well I could go and do it myself at a fraction of the price.

Many politicians will throw themselves into any and everything, especially it seems if it makes them more money and keeps their profile high. It's that narcissism again and it's not helped by having spent too long living life high on the hog, losing touch with the common man and woman. They have been flattered by hangers-on, telling them how clever and great they are, and can develop an over-inflated sense of their own worth. But in my opinion they are often nowhere near as popular or as clever as they may think or have been told.

This article may sound particularly spiteful but I'm afraid politicians bring out the worst in me. Pride comes before a fall, so the saying goes. So I have no regret in stating that I feel a sense of Schadenfreude knowing just 73 people thought it worthwhile to book in advance to listen to Hain trotting out the same tired old platitudes, telling his audience that he's done it all for some good cause (rather than himself). You see, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, some people still believe in Father Christmas and the Easter Bunny. But I don't.
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STAN'S FURTHER THOUGHTS

Whether you think listening to Mr Hain would be an entertaining way to spend an evening, or you agree or not with MPs treating the privilege of representing you as just a part time job, you can't deny he's doing bloody well out of it. I would stress, in fairness, he is not the only one, not by a country mile. In lots of jobs you must get permission off your employer before touting your services elsewhere and it isn't readily given. My own view, based on a lifetime of work, is that if you are working hard, full time, in a proper job, you are too knackered to even think of carrying out other work. Spend time with the family, see to the inevitable chores and tasks that come up, a bit of leisure time, then bingo - you're back in work the next day. I guess I just went into the wrong type of work. Not just me, but millions of other drones who went about our daily business collecting the pollen while others seemingly could feast and get fat on the honey.

As I've said, he's doing alright, is our MP. The latest Register of Financial Interests for MPs shows the following with regard to Peter Hain. You could say it's a "bull year"!

Amara Mining, non-executive director £31,500 (12 days work)
Advisory Board Member of Developing Market Associates Ltd, £20,000 (12 days)
Sunday Telegraph £1,650,article published in March 2014. Hours: 5 hrs.
University of South Wales, £1,500.  Hours: 20 hrs.
Clive Conway Productions Ltd, £1,000 Hours: 2 days including return travel (Belfast).
University of Swansea, £15,000,teaching sessions and public lectures. Hours: 20 days
Received £4,000, plus flights and accommodation, from the Civil Service College Ltd for lectures to the Political Academy of Vietnam in Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City, July 2014.

Factor in his MP pay of £67,060 per annum and you get to a figure of £141,710.

That does not include anything he picks up from being a partner in his wife's business. Nor for the talk this week in Newtownabbey. Plus a lecture in South Wales the next day now. And there's still nearly half a year to go for him to put plenty onto that figure, before we are well shot of him as our MP. I'll keep an eye on it though and we'll see just what he's totted up by the end of the financial year.

As I've said before, skin like a rhino, and a hypocrite, in my opinion, to be bleating about energy costs when he is claiming those energy expenses. Hundreds of other MPs claim nothing and so many in his constituency struggle on a daily basis to get by. In my blog this week I referred to Dave Prentis of Unison and his statement concerning MPs claiming expenses to heat their second homes, how it was hypocritical but essentially "a moral decision down to them and their consciences". Peter Hain has shown us all where his morals lie on this matter. But I'm sure he sleeps well at night. It's all down to your conscience at the end of the day, after all.
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