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Spanglefish Gold Status Expired 08/05/2012.
Bowls Jokes & Stories
In this section we intend to provide jokes, cartoons, humorous stories, (true, false or apocryphal), and anything that will make you smile. We really need contributors for this so we will welcome any stories from members (or even about members) and guests Worldwide. Send them in by clicking on Feedback on the Navigation Bar.
Note: stories that are a wee bit risque are fine but remember that this is a family site.
This is one told by my friend bigbass6...
Rose and Barb
Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb had been friends all of their lives, and they especially liked a guy named Des.
When it was clear that Rose was dying, Barb visited her every day.
One day Barb said, 'Rose, we both loved lawnbowling all our lives, and we played all through School. Please do me one favor: when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's women's lawnbowling there.
Rose looked up at Barb from her deathbed and said, 'Barb, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favour for you.'
Shortly after that, Rose passed on.
A few nights later, Barb was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, 'Barb, Barb.'
'Who is it?', asked Barb, sitting up suddenly. 'Who is it?'
'Barb -- it's me, Rose.'
'You're not Rose. Rose just died.'
'I'm telling you, it's me, Rose,' insisted the voice.
'Rose! Where are you?'
'In Heaven,' replied Rose. 'I have some really good news and a little bad news.'
'Tell me the good news first,' said Barb.
'The good news,' Rose said, 'is that there's lawnbowls in Heaven. Better yet all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too.. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always springtime, and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can bowl all all we want, and we never get tired.'
'That's fantastic,' said Barb. 'It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?'
'You have been picked to Skip next Tuesday.'
Life is uncertain - eat dessert first.
A SELECTORS PRAYER
Blessed are they who can play sport
Blessed are they who can still be taught
Blessed are they who accept with grace
To play in any selected place.
Advice
" If your Skip wants an opinion, He'll give it to you".
NOBODY'S DARLING
Up and down, walking walking,
Often measuring, sometimes chalking;
Shifting mats - keeping score,
thirty ends, maybe more;
Aching back - tired of limb,
Cheers for others, none for him,
Night draws on, darker, darker,
No one cares for he's the marker!
What do you do with someone who can't draw, can't roll the jack, can't set the mat, can't keep score and won't listen
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