Warning: the following post is outrageously sexist and if you are easily offended by smutty remarks about women's body parts and what they wear, this particular article is not for you.
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Unless you're Rip van Winkle and have just awoken after a long sleep, you'll have heard the news that the film rights have been acquired for 
Peter Hain's book about his parents' struggle against the apartheid system in South Africa. Yes, Ad and Wal is seemingly going from bestselling book to cinema blockbuster, presumably in full technicolour HD so you can really appreciate the suntans of those appearing in it. The option on the film rights was managed by Jonathan Sissons of literary agents Peters Fraser and Dunlop who negotiated a deal with Fiftyone Productions Ltd - actually a Neath based firm. Peters Fraser and Dunlop are a London based literary agents who obviously have their finger on the pulse - their website still thinks Peter Hain is the MP for Neath and the Shadow Welsh Secretary.
http://www.petersfraserdunlop.com/clients/peter-hain/
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Now I'd never even heard of Fiftyone Productions despite living within the Neath constituency for most of my life. But a quick company check helped to explain why:
https://www.endole.co.uk/company/08597057/fifty-one-productions-ltd
The company was only set up in in July 2013 and is owned in equal partnership (both directors) - a Ms Andrea Moignard 
and a Miss Cheryl Ingram. There's not much information on Cheryl worth noting (sorry) but Andrea seems to be the more public "face" of the company. And why not, because Andrea is actually a former Miss Neath before moving to London and becoming an actress.
http://www.fiftyoneproductions.co/#!andrea-moignard-presenter/c1s83
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And here she is in one of Fiftyone's few actual productions, Beemageddon, about the importance of bees and the threats to our bee populations. Take it from me, this is definitely worth a few minutes out of your life. So pour yourself a stiff drink, click on the link below and see what you think.
https://vimeo.com/108281355
The trouble is, instead of focusing on "bees" when watching it, I was too transfixed by certain other "Bs" that the camera never seemed to stray from. I swear the camera gets closer as the narrative develops. And I've never seen anyone wear an outfit so Persil white in a garden either, and those nails - aren't they a fantastic colour? Later on in the production Andrea changes into something more appropriate but I still can't take my eyes off her. No, it's not just the tight fitting polo neck, very eye catching though it is. It's those leather (or leather-look) trousers. Mmmm. I AM looking forward to how Ad and Wal turns out with Andrea's involvement.
An alternative suggestion, if I may be so bold, is to dispense with any thought of a major film production with all the expense of actors, extras and all the other luvvies involved. Look - we all know the bloody story anyway. We've had it shoved down our throats more times than a duck or goose being force fed to end up as foie gras. My idea would be to simply have Andrea read the book, kind of Jackanory style, wearing a different outfit for each chapter, just to keep interest up. Being drama trained she should have no problems with the South African accent and native dialects and I reckon she'd do an amazing job. And I'd certainly watch it myself then, otherwise it's a definite no, no.
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So there we are, in a nutshell. Personally I find myself wondering why none of the big breasts beasts of the film-making world have snapped up Ad and Wal. Perhaps they know something that Fiftyone Productions has overlooked? Isn't Rachel Kinnock's husband, Stuart Bentham a well known producer? Incidentally Rachel herself is no longer unemployed but now a producer on ITN since early on this year. I bet that's a nice change of scenery after organising events in No. 10 for Gordon Brown and then being Ed Miliband's office gatekeeper. But there's Kinnock family gratitude for you after all the support Peter has given to Neil, Glenys and Boyo over the years - even training up Boyo's Aberavon office manager for him. Don't you dare give them a speaking role or even a walk on part in the new blockbuster, Peter.
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Ad and Wal will be filmed on location in South Africa apparently - and Lord Hain is to be Executive Producer. The only advice I'd give anyone busting a gut to see the film is - "Read the book" - because I think it will be a long, long time before you can see it on a cinema screen. But there again what do I know? There may be investors and grant aid already lined up!
