About Coaching

Below I've addressed the most commonly asked questions. If there is anything you'd like to know that isn't covered please use the Contact the Coach link to ask your question and receive a personal answer.

   1. What sort of coaching do you do? Are you a life coach?
   2. Why do people work with a coach? What does a coach actually do?
   3. How does coaching differ from counselling or therapy?
   4. I've got good friends and/or a supportive partner. Why do I need a coach?
   5. How is coaching delivered? What does the process look like?
   7. What is Co-Active Coaching

You can also find out more about how I coach, and the benefits that clients experience, at the What Clients Say page.

1. What sort of coaching do you do? Are you a life coach?
Yes. I'm a life coach in the sense that everything - your work, your relationships, your creativity - is part of your life and all these parts are interconnected and inter-dependent as explained in The Weaver of the Web page. So I'm also a Career Coach, a Personal Development coach, an Executive Coach, a Well-Being Coach.......

As a coach, it's not my job to advise you or tell you what to do. That's what consultants do. I may have, and do have, expertise in many of those areas from my 20 years as a consultant and trainer but as a coach my expertise is with the coaching process. My role is to help you have clarity about your hopes, dreams and desires, your purpose and goals, and then to support you in whatever way is necessary so that you convert that into action and results. The only person that can change anything in your life is you and it is you, the whole person, that I coach. The way I do that is outlined in my response to Question 3.

However, I have also been a consultant for over 20 years, working in many areas of personal and professional development. Sometimes the boundaries are blurred. Sometimes clients wants to draw on my expertise in areas such as project management, leadership or assertiveness. If I have some useful materials, for example on project planning, I will offer them to you.

I also offer a Time and Workload Management Course, delivered by email and supported by either email or telephone coaching, and 1 day Workshops in Devon.

2. Why do people work with a coach? What does a coach actually do?
People work with a coach because they want something to be different from how it is. They may want more of something (fulfillment, job satisfaction, confidence, time) or less of something (stress, conflict in a relationship). They may want to change themselves/feel different or just their circumstances. Sometimes they know what they want. Sometimes they only know what they don't want.

As your coach, you can expect me to :

• Help you clarify, and then achieve, your goals
• Keep you focused and motivated so that momentum is maintained and results are achieved more quickly
• Provide support, tools, techniques and a structure
• Insist that you take yourself seriously, put yourself first when necessary and believe in the importance of your hopes and dreams
• Challenge you if you 'play small' or let your 'internal saboteur' make your decisions or inform your actions
• Highlight any habits of thought or action that create barriers to your success
• Help you to take the 'right' actions at the 'right' time and to avoid putting things off
• Support you in managing risk and expanding your 'comfort zone' - working out with you when a small but significant step is required and when its time to 'leap off the edge'

I do this by using my coaching skills within the context of a coaching relationship where you feel it is safe to be yourself without fear of judgement or criticism. One of the powerful aspects of the approach to coaching that I trained in - Co-Active Coaching - is that we work this relationship out together so that the way I apply my skills is tailored to fit what works best for you.

I also, if clients wish, incorporate Mindfulness Training into the coaching.

Some of the Skills coaches use :
They Listen, really listen - not just to what you are saying but to how you are saying it. They listen to the words and the feelings behind the words. They also listen for what isn't said - and to the silences. They listen for what rings true and what doesn't. They listen for flow and for resistance. They listen for where you come alive and where the energy drops.

They Ask Questions - questions to make you think, reflect, explore and focus. Questions that challenge you to go beyond your habitual ways of thinking about things and about yourself.

They Provide Tools and Techniques - to help you generate new perspectives, get unstuck, gain clarity, be more in control, manage your 'internal saboteur', aid decision-making and take effective action. Different approaches work for different people but could include using guided imagery and visualisation, writing, collage and movement.

3. How does coaching differ from counselling or therapy?
The difficulty with attempting to make a completely hard and fast distinction is that counsellors often use the skills, tools and techniques of coaching - and coaches who have also trained as counsellors sometime do some counselling.

According to the International Coaching Federation (but in my own words) : "Coaching is a profession that supports personal and professional growth and development. It is forward moving and future focused. The emphasis is on action, accountability and follow through. Therapy, on the other hand, deals with healing pain and dysfunction where the focus is often on resolving difficulties arising from the past which hamper an individual's emotional functioning in the present.".

In reality, the factors that can hinder our "growth and development" may well be linked to past "'pain and dysfunction". In my experience, some clients choose to come into coaching for exactly the same reasons that others may decide to have counselling/therapy. The difference is not in the 'issues' but in the approach to addressing them. You can read more about my thoughts on this in
Newsletter 24 - in the section 'Update on Newsletter 6'.

In coaching, we do not spend a lot of time digging into your history looking at causes. Instead, the emphasis is
1) on the present - achieving clarity about where you are and where you want to be and on learning to understand yourself better in terms of how you both help and hinder yourself
2) on the future - on exploring possibilities, making choices and taking action.

4. I've got good friends and/or a supportive partner. Why do I need a coach?
It's very difficult for anyone - no matter how committed they are to you - not to also have their own 'agenda'. They may be protective - not wanting you to 'expect too much' and be disappointed. They may worry that if you change the relationship will change - and they will have to change too. They may have a tendency to 'help' by giving 'good advice' rather than having the skills, and patience, to help you work out for yourself what is best for you.

Nor can we always expect our friends to be there for us week in week out. They probably have busy lives too. And sometimes they will want to talk about themselves not you - which is a perfectly reasonable thing for a friend to want to do.

Whereas as your coach I'm 100% focused on you - all the time. I have no preconceptions about what is best for you, how you should live or what you should do. I believe that the only person that can make those decisions is you. And I will never say "Oh yes, that happened to me too"! We will agree in advance when we speak and I'll be there. You can also contact me by email whenever you wish - and I'll always reply.

There is no other relationship in our lives that consistently offers this level of support and encouragement - and which is guaranteed to be totally confidential. Top

5. How is coaching delivered? What does the process look like?
Most of my clients choose to have telephone coaching.
Single Sessions
Most people work with a coach over a period of time. However, there may be times in your life when you feel you just need one or two sessions to focus on a specific issue or situation such as an important interview or a challenging situation at work. If you would like to discuss this, please Contact Me.

Monthly Coaching
At the point you decide to go ahead with coaching we will discuss the number of sessions a month you will be having and their length.We then schedule the sessions a month in advance.

Prior to the first session, I send you an Intake Pack consisting of questions to help you start to reflect on where you are, where you want to be and how you want to get there. It's entirely up to you which of these activities you do. 

Cost
There is a wide range of fees charged by coaches. Some coaches with my qualifications and experience charge £200/month or more for two hours coaching (and this is my usual rate for organisations). This puts coaching beyond the reach of many. At the moment most of my clients have three 40 minute sessions a month at a total cost of £120. This is pro-rata for fewer/shorter sessions.

I also offer coaching to two clients at a time on a 'donations' basis. I ask you to commit to a minimum of three months and at the end of that time we have a review. At the end of each month I will let you know how much coaching you have had and you decide what to pay me based on a combination of the value you feel you have received and what you can afford. There is no minimum (could be £0) - and no maximum. Many people find making such a decision difficult. Our relationship with money - what we are worth, what other people are worth and so forth - is usually quite complex. (And we can coach around this if necessary). However, if you would really like to have some coaching and are on a low income for whatever reason, please do contact me. It is important to me to not exclude people from access to coaching. At no time will I ask you to justify a request for 'donations' coaching or question or comment on what you pay me.

As your coach (and unlike a counselling or therapeutic relationship), I am available to you all the time (within reason!) so what you pay includes not only the scheduled face-to-face or telephone sessions but also 'unlimited' email contact and occasional additional short telephone calls. You may choose to use these to ask a question, request some 'emergency' support, to update me on your successes or to use me as a sounding-board to clarify your thinking.

If I come across relevant resources (articles, books, web sites, checklists, questionnaires or anything else that supports you in deepening your understanding of yourself and making the changes that you want to make) I will send them to you. In you but most commonly it will be you who initiates the email coaching with

Telephone coaching
Coaching can take place face-to-face if geography allows, and the client wishes, but most coaching takes place over the telephone. With so many cheap telephone plans available, and systems such as Skype, coach and client can be on opposite sides of the planet.

Telephone coaching has a number of advantages.
1. No travelling time, no travelling expenses, no traffic or parking problems
2. You aren't limited to a coach who lives nearby - you can choose from all over the world.
3. No need to get dressed up to go out (or even dressed!)
4. No need to arrange childcare, negotiate who has the car etc
5. If necessary, appointments can be rescheduled with minimum inconvenience
6. Coaching can continue no matter where in the world the coach and/or client are - even if one or both of them are away from home for extended periods

But it doesn't just have practical advantages. A number of clients have had reservations about telephone coaching but, because they wished to work with me, were willing to try it. Without exception they have become converts.Top


What is Co-Active Coaching?

The term 'co-active' refers to the fact that, in the coaching relationship, the coach and client are active collaborators. It is a relationship between two equals where the sole purpose of the relationship is to meet the client's needs.

There are four underlying principles that form the foundation of co-active coaching :
1) The client is naturally creative, resourceful and whole (even if they may temporarily feel they have lost touch with some of those resources). I do not perceive you as 'broken' or needing to be 'fixed'. I know that you, not me, have, or can find, the answers you are looking for - the ones that will work for the unique, complex person you are with all your individual strengths and 'weaknesses', beliefs, values and personal history. My job is to ask the powerful questions, and use other techniques and activities, that will enable you to access those answers.

2) Co-active coaching addresses the client's whole life. It recognizes that all the areas of your life are interlinked and that decisions made in one area will impact others. For example, a career choice can affect health, family, friends and where you live.

3) The agenda comes from the client. You are in charge; the relationship is focused on you getting the results that you want. I never assume that I know what is best for you. Rather, I ensure that you are moving towards your stated objectives within the wider context of a fulfilled and balanced life.

4) The coach 'dances in the moment' with the client. This means that there is no predetermined plan or structure. During a session I am constantly making choices about where to go next with the coaching, sensing what is important and basing my next question or suggestion on what is happening in the moment. I listen at a deep level, use my intuition and am willing and able to be very flexible.

These principles are what give Co-Active Coaching the power and flexibility that make it possible for co-active coaches to work with clients in every and any aspect of their life. 

Mindfulness Training
This is an approach which helps people to develop new habits that weaken old, unhelpful and automatic thinking habits such as being overly pre-occupied with thinking about the future, the past, themselves, or their emotions in a
negative way. It aims to develop a skill which places you in a better position to break free of or not ‘buy into’ these unhelpful habits that are causing
distress and preventing positive action. It helps to free us from the 'knee jerk' reactivity which arises out of fear, anger, confusion and stress and to develop clarity, insight, awareness and peace of mind. Mindfulness has been used as an approach for stress (and pain) management for many years and is now also being used very successfully with people suffering from depression and anxiety.