The Wigan Wednesday Club joins the

cyberworld.

Welcome to this first online venture of the Illustrious and Ancient Wednesday Club.

There has been increasing pressure from our numerous members at the Wednesday Club to embrace and utilise technology in an attempt to increase membership and awareness of future events and functions.

So along with our many partners we have engaged the talents of top IT specialists Bodgett & Scarper Inc to create a cutting edge, state of the art website.

The committee hopes that this new online link will help to secure the future of our beloved Wigan Wednesday Club well into the 21st century. This grand old middle of the week club which for so many years now has stood for tradition and community, has its loyal members at the very fulcrum of its vibrant beating heart.

For without our passionate members energy and drive, we would be nothing but a few sad people stood in obscurity weeping in our drinks at the edge of society.

The much loved monthly gatherings would not be filled with the joy and laughter that make it so unique and special to everyone involved.

So good folk of the North West, why not join us on our journey into fellowship and entente cordiale.

Welcome to The Wigan Wednesday Club

The Committee

Mr Eric Johnson ( Chairman)

WELCOME TO THE WIGAN WEDNESDAY CLUB WORLDWIDE WEBPAGE PORTAL

Supported by SHINEOTECH

(SOME PAGES MAY APPEAR DIFFERENTLY DEPENDANT ON YOUR DEVICE)

THE FOUNDING FATHERS OF THE MODERN DAY CLUB Sometimes visionaries are sneered at and ridiculed when they dare to create and establish something new. It was in the early years of the 20th century that a group of brave forward thinking loners came up with the idea of making Wednesdays a more special day than it had historically previously been. In the year 1903 these intrepid trailblazers blew life into the very glowing embers of the modern club we see today. The Marsh Green Mercury once described the club as a "Powerhouse of intellect and a melting pot of debate & clarity". Today's club would be totally unrecognisable to many of the early pioneering members. When Zebadiah Belch had an alcohol induced chat with allotment treasurer Albert Clutter-buck at the Higher Ince Turnip Convention one damp autumnal afternoon in the October of 1902, who could have predicted the domino type effect of membership within the Wigan district. This meeting ranks along with the time Henry Royce had lunch with Charles Rolls. Or when Marks met Spencer and Punch met Judy.		ANCIENT LINKS WITH THE PAST - HAVE WEDNESDAYS ALWAYS BEEN A WINNER ? As far back as the Greek & Roman republics there have been people who have enjoyed meeting up on a Wednesday to drink and parlay. Professors of antiquity and history have long been of the opinion that numerous cultures had found that the middle of the week was a desirable time for Bon Accord and good will. Following the fall of the Roman empire, Wednesday continued to be a popular choice within Christianity * as it spread west into Europe. Rare artifacts stored deep within the vaults of the Library Street Museum, point to a direct link with Anglo-Saxon settlers in the middle ages. In fact some extremely delicate clay beer mats can be carbon dated to the reign of King Alfred the Great in 1064AD. The very same King of Wessex who had a disastrously unsuccessful cake stand in standishgate. Learnid scholars and experts now seem to agree that most of the evidence points towards a link between advanced highly developed civilizations and the need and focus for a middle of the week moot or meeting time. * It is believed that Jesus Christ was invited to attend a Wednesday Club Pie & Peas Easter supper. Unfortunately he had already made arrangements to meet up with the Thursday Club while he was visiting Jerusalem. The rest is as you know,is history.

NEW CASK ALES FOR 2015 Club chairman Mr Eric Johnson has procured ten barrels of this award winning real ale for the enjoyment of all our members. Mr Johnson is a long standing champion of locally brewed bespoke beers and has selected one of his personal favorites to tickle your taste buds. It will be available in all the clubs bars from May 2015.		STRONG LINKS WITH LOCAL FIRM Thanks to negotiations with the well known local toffee makers Santus Sweets, the Wigan Wednesday Club has secured the rights to sell Uncle Joes Mint Balls on all days except...? MONDAY, TUESDAY, THURSDAY, FRIDAY, SATURDAY & SUNDAY

WEDNESDAY CLUB VENUES , THE SWAN & RAILWAY		THE RAVEN

THE JOHN BULL CHOPHOUSE		THE ANVIL

THE LAUGHING GOAT PROJECT NEW ARTWORK AND PLANS FOR THIS GROUNDBREAKING CLUB VENTURE WILL BE ON DISPLAY IN THE KEVIN BACON SPORTS BAR FROM 24TH MAY. 19.30 TILL 21.00pm A LIGHT BUFFET WILL BE SUPPLIED AT A SMALL CHARGE A WIDE SELECTION OF SAVOURY PIES AND PASTRY BASED MEAT PRODUCTS.PICKLED TRIPE, FISH CAKES , BLACK PUDDINGS AND BOILED EGGS. NUTS AND CRISPS ( VARIOUS FLAVOURS ) SALAD WILL BE AVAILABLE IF PRE-ORDERED 24 HOURS IN ADVANCE. BAR WILL BE OPEN AS USUAL. POP AND CRISPS WILL BE AVAILABLE IN THE UNDER ELEVENS PAINTING CRECHE. THE CLUTTER-BUCK SALOON BAR & GRILL ONLY REQUIRES ONE COAT OF EMULSION ON THE WALLS AND THE SKIRTING BOARDS NEED A LICK OF GLOSS PLEASE... PLEASE... PLEASE DRESS YOUR CHILDREN IN SUITABLE ATTIRE. THE CONTRACTORS BID FOR THE REFURBISHMENT OF THIS GRADE 2 LISTED BUILDING HAS BEEN AWARDED TO BICKERSHAW CONSTRUCTION COMPANY GOOD, FAUNOUT & VANISH. A REPRESENTATIVE FROM THERE HEAD OFFICE WILL BE PRESENT TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS.		THE LAUGHING GOAT HOTEL & SPA ( THE WEDNESDAY CLUBS LATEST DEVELOPMENT FOR SUMMER 2016 ) Recent changes in peoples tastes and preferences have forced the committee to invest in the future of our beloved club. This twenty five en-suite room retro-chic boutique style guest house hotel with stairs to all floors, boasts a state of the art games room with dominos, cribage, darts and snooker. Our conference room will be available for funerals, weddings,singles nights and psychic evenings. Also we are proud to reveal our partnership with local health & beauty specialists Rub,Scrub & Buff Corp, who will make the Laughing Goat the premier spa location within the town centre. This by no means will see the demise of the traditional local branches, that we all love and cherish. This contemporary new venture will bring a touch of class and a little bit of luxury, which will hopefully attract newer and more affluent members to the Wednesday Club. Sadly cheap supermarket prices and midweek TV reality shows have had a devastating effect on membership numbers.It is hoped that we will be able to bolster club finances with numerous middle aged women having spa treatments and colonic gravy irrigation's. Along with conferences and hen parties we hope to secure a bright future for all our members.

WEDNESDAY CLUB SINGLES NIGHT The committee will be examining ticket receipts for this event. Unfortunately projected numbers were widely overestimated,especially the number of women present. Sadly funds taken only just covered the price laid out for the hot buffet supper and candles. We may not be able to hold this event again in the near future.The committee will revisit this event next year.		WEDNESDAY CLUB EXCLUSIVE FOR SPRING BRING AND BUY BRIC A BRAC GALA THE WEDNESDAY CLUB IS BUZZING WITH THE NEWS OF A FABULOUS COUP FOR THE EASTER BREAK. CLUB ENTERTAINMENTS MANAGER SARAH RECENTLY BUMPED INTO 80'S POP STAR BOY GEORGE AT THE BAMFULONG FARMERS MARKET. STAR JUDGE ON THE BBC MUSIC SHOW ' THE VOICE ' WAS SPOTTED LOOKING AT VINTAGE THRESHING MACHINES, WHEN EAGLE EYED COMMITTEE MEMBER MISS METCALF APPROACHED HIM FOR A SELFIE PICTURE. USING HER NEGOTIATING SKILLS AND SEVERAL GLASSES OF DANDELION GIN, MR GEORGE WAS PERSUADED TO MAKE A GUEST APPEARANCE OPENING THE CLUBS PREMIER TABLE TOP SALE. LETS HOPE THE ATTENDANCE OF SUCH AN ICONIC CROSS DRESSING SUPERSTAR WILL BOOST NUMBERS AT THIS IMPORTANT FUND RAISING EVENT. DOORS OPEN AT NOON REFRESHMENTS AND SNACKS WILL BE AVAILABLE IN THE FRANK RANDALL SUITE.

GOATS RETURN TO THEIR SPRING WIGAN BREEDING GROUNDS Following a four month winter absence, happy twitchers on Scotsman's Flash were thrilled to see the return of these migratory creatures. School children from the local area were mesmerized as they watched them swoop across the water before landing in a small copse of trees near Westwood Lodge. R.S.P.G Ranger Mr Graham Trifle told onlookers that the goats return to wetlands of Wigan indicated the importance of the area, and its vital role as a nursery and safe haven for the young goats when they hatch. He went on to thank the Wednesday Club for providing funds towards further research work into these rare and fascinating creatures.		THE FIRST PINT PULLED Photographic evidence has been unearthed from club archives,seeming to show the very first pint of beer pulled at the original Wednesday Club back in 1903. Sceptics from The Tuesday Association have cautioned their members not to beleive this grainy picture is genuine. Experts are endeavoring to verify the validity of the image, and whether or not it was Bitter, Mild or Lager ?

YEAR OF MEMBERSHIP ( ATTENDED A NIGHT OUT ) Mr Eric Johnson 2013 Mr Colin Dallas 2013 Miss Sarah Metcalf 2014 Mr Michael Tomlinson 2014 Mrs Karen Mee 2015 Mr Tony Mee 2015 Mr John Bailey 2016 Mr Michael Large 2016 Mr Richard Harrison 2016 Dame Nicola of Jordan 2016 Madame Sue de Bollock 2016 Mrs Anne Edwards 2016 Miss Rachel Edwards 2016 Miss Rebecca Edwards 2016 Mr Ian Hignett 2016 Mr Ian Halliwell 2016 Mr Robert Wood 2016 Baroness Jane of Downham Abbey 2016 Miss Laura Miller 2016 Miss Jemma Ashcroft 2017 Mrs Kimberley Ogden 2017 Mrs Joanne Cleworth 2017 Mr Thomas Tootill 2017 Mr Christopher White 2017 Miss Simone Hunt 2017 Miss Rachel Braddock 2017 Miss Dana Brown 2017 Miss Alex Eckerlike 2017 Cyril Mariusz Pickles 2017 AMY BAILEY 2018 Amanda Sewell 2018 Jarek the Viking 2018 Queen of the Tea fairies Emma Parkinson 2018 Radoslaw Lesner 2018 William Von Branagahan 2019 Oliver the flying Scotson 2019 Craig Hill 2019 Phillip Bannister 2019 Sally Hodson 2019 Patrick O'Shaunghnessy Lewiski 2019		THE WIGAN WEDNESDAY CLUB SPORTS & SOCIAL 'VITA EST OPTIMUS AGO IRRISORIE' ( LIFE IS BEST LIVED WITH A SMILE )

COMMITTEE ANNUAL FACT FINDING TRIP Following a very stressful and turbulent 2014, the committee enjoyed a few weeks recharging their batteries in North wales. This gave senior members the time and space to conduct research into the future development and running of the club. This precious down time has given staff the chance to express their feelings and let creative thoughts inspire a fresh direction for us all.		LAGER IN THE PARK This years annual Lager in the park festival is still on track to deliver a fun packed afternoon for all the family. This bank holiday event has grown from strength to strength over the last few years. With many of the stalls attracting adults and children alike. The under twelves asbestos removal club and the pre-school envelope licking stand are set to make a welcome return this year. Lets hope the arrest rate can be kept to a minimum again ? CONFIRMED BANDS FOR THIS YEAR FAT FINGER THE STANDISH & LANGTREE STRING QUARTET CONDUCTOR - MR BERNARD BACH PAYNE VIRAL VENOM AND THE CHIPMUNKS SHY TALK CRAZY LEMON ( INDIE FOLK FUSION ) BEECH HILL MALE VOICE CHOIR - THE HILLS HAVE EARS. HEADLINE ACT TO BE ANNOUNCED SOON.

WHERE IT ALL BEGAN This blurred black & white image is all that has survived to record the very spot where the Wigan Wednesday Club first opened their Ashton in Makerfield branch. This was the third meeting rooms used by the Wednesday Club, who revamped the !9th century Tuberculosis Isolation Hospital just off Bolton road. Sadly the Ashton club house had to be demolished in 1978 due to a lack of fire extinguishers and insurance. Photograph courtesy of the National Club Museum, Doncaster.		SAD LOSS OF THE ROBIN PARK WATER TAXI Its with a heavy heart that our maritime section of the Wednesday Club has decided to call closing time on its precious Jewel of the canal. A once profitable service conveying shoppers from Wallgate to the Robin Park shopping Mall has experienced a rapid downturn in passengers numbers. Rising operating costs and reduced income have given the committee very little room for maneuver. With the increasing use of automobiles and people using their own legs to walk,It was deemed uneconomical to continue the service any later than June 2015.

WALTS WHISKY CLUB New for winter 2015 Long standing Wednesday club member Walter Dizzy of Bryn has proposed a whisky tasting club in the newly refurbished Coronation Suite. WALT DIZZY'S LION KING WHISKY CLUB. Please collect your information leaflet from behind the bar.		NEW ARRIVALS FOR 2015 HARDYBUTTS SAFARI PARK PROUDLY REVEAL THEIR NEWEST ADDITION FOR 2015 Following the completion of the new urban mining village enclosure, the park is delighted to introduce a beautiful pair of cute Westhoughton Ring Tailed Ferrets. It is hoped that this venture into more exotic species can only compliment the already marvelous collection of Hedgehogs, Rabbits, Earthworms, Pigeons and Sparrows. Sadly since the death of their mongrel Staffordshire Bull Terrier ' Casper ' visitor numbers have suffered to an alarming level. Wednesday Club funds have been generously donated to secure the adoption of two long tailed lesser spotted slugs for the micro beasts exhibition.

MUSIC MAESTRO JOINS THE TEAM AT THE WEDNESDAY CLUB MANY OF US AT THE WEDNESDAY CLUB ARE DELIGHTED TO HAVE SECURED THE EXPERT TALENTS AND EXPERIENCE OF ONE OF THE 1960's BEST KNOW LOCAL HOSPITAL RADIO MUSIC EMPERSARIOS AND ENTERTAINMENT PUNDITS. FINBAR MELODISITY HAS FOR MANY YEARS NOW BEEN RECOGNISED AS A LEADING LIGHT IN THE WORLD OF VINYL AND EIGHT TRACK CASSETTES. A REAL COLLECTING GIANT OF EASY LISTENING MUSIC FROM ALL AROUND THE GLOBE, FINBAR CAN BRING MUCH NEEDED CREDIBILITY TO THE YOUNGER MEMBERS OF THE CLUB. SINCE HIS MANY YEARS OF BROADCASTING TO THE SICK AND THE UNCONSCIOUS AT ONE OF THE NORTH WESTS BEST KNOWN ISOLATION HOSPITALS, MR M HAS COURTED DOUBLE FIGURE FAN BASES ON MOST OF HIS TWILIGHT HOUR SHOWS. MUSIC AFICIONADOS ARE DESPERATE TO HEAR WHAT FINBAR HAS UP HIS SLEEVE. HE WILL BE STATING HIS COLUMN IN THE SUMMER.		NEW CONTEMPORY SCULPTURE TO HONOUR LONG STANDING CHAIRMAN UNVEILED At long last a fitting tribute to our Wednesday Clubs visionary guiding light has finally been revealed. This spring, on the sunshine island of Majorca,the local abstract artist Don Pedro Colingo has captured what many locals feel is the very essence of Eric Johnson. Art critic Andy Lucia of the Palma Tribute has been waxing lyrically in some of the free papers. He hints about the profound effect this street erection has ignited in this sleepy tranquil backwater just off the coast of Spain. It is hoped that the impact on tourist numbers will have a positive affect to boost the economy in resorts like Cala Bona and Magaluf. Local bar owners Valerie Enseia and Benjamin Dorm are trilled to have such a large landmark in their area.

ALARMING LACK OF STREET ENTERTAINMENT CAUSES DEEP CONCERN IN LOCAL TOWNS IN RECENT POLES IT HAS AS BEEN STATISTICALLY PROVEN, THAT THERE HAS BEEN A MARKED DECLINE IN THE NUMBER OF STREET MUSICIANS AND GENERAL TYPES OF PERFORMERS VISIBLE TO SHOPPERS IN THE TOWN CENTRE. WOLFGANG OSWALDTWISTLE ,SPOKESPERSON FOR THE MONEY IN A HAT ASSOCIATION HAS BEEN MORE THAN A LITTLE DISTURBED BY THE SLOW DECLINE IN HUMAN STATUES AND DOG SAND SCULPTURES AROUND THE MAIN SHOPPING MALLS AND PIAZZAS. ST HELENS AND LEIGH AUTHORITIES HAVE RECORDED A 40% DROP IN OUT OF TUNE DRUNKEN SINGERS PERFORMING TO BACKING TRACKS BY JOHNNY CASH & ELVIS. EVEN THE METROPOLITAN LEAFY SUBURBS OF EARLESTOWN HAVEN'T ESCAPED FROM THIS PLIGHT.THEY RECORDED A 62% FALL IN ELDERLY WOMEN SELLING LUCKY HEATHER AND SAYING ATISHOO. ON A MORE OPTIMISTIC NOTE, MANY PARTS OF THE BOROUGH HAVE SEEN A HEALTHY RISE IN THE NUMBER OF SEMI LEGAL HAND CAR WASH CENTRES, GIVING A MUCH NEEDED BOOST TO EUROPEAN ECONOMIES WHILST UNDERMINING HEALTH AND SAFETY LAWS AND ENVIRONMENTAL CONCERNS. ALSO I AM HAPPY TO INFORM WEDNESDAY CLUB MEMBERS, THAT THANKS TO THEIR FUNDRAISING EFFORTS WE HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FINANCE THE REINTRODUCTION OF SEVERAL ENDANGERED ACCORDION PLAYERS.MANY OF THEM HAVE TRAVELED FROM ABROAD TO SUPPLEMENT THE AUDIBLE LACK OF SQUEEZE BOX TUNES IN SHOP DOORWAYS.		WEDNESDAY ROLE OF PAST HONOURED MEMBERS GEORGE FORMBY ( MUSIC HALL ENTERTAINER ) JOE GORMLEY ( MINE UNION LEADER ) JAMES ANDERTON ( CHIEF CONSTABLE ) GEORGE ORWELL ( AUTHOR & SPANISH CIVIL WAR VOLUNTEER ) COLIN BEAN ( DADS ARMY COMEDY ACTOR ) FRANK RANDALL ( STAND UP COMEDIAN ) STUART MACONIE ( BROADCASTER & AUTHOR ) ROY KINNEAR ( COMEDY ACTOR ) RICHARD ASHCROFT ( LEAD SINGER WITH THE VERVE ) KAY BURLEY ( ANCHOR WOMAN ON SKY TV ) LEON OSMAN ( PREMIERSHIP FOOTBALLER ) LIMAHL ( LARGE HAIRED SINGER IN 80's BAND KAJAGOOGOO ) EDWARD ENTWISTLE ( ENGINE DRIVER ON GEORGE STEPHENSONS ROCKET ) SIR IAN McKELLEN ( SHAKESPEAREAN ACTOR )

THE LOST IMAGE Incredibly this delicate turn of the century photograph has turned up inside a cigar box during an attic clearance in Rose Bridge , Wigan. Even though a portion is missing from this precious iconic piece of history, we can be left in no doubt about the importance of this groundbreaking discovery. The unmistakable form of Zebadiah Belch ploughing his turnip fields with his brace of Arabian Shire Camels make an impressive sight on the fertile hills of Kitt Green. Those verdant meadows are no longer visible,and over the years they have been covered with sprawling stock broker walled communities and organic farm shops. This snapshot into the past will be on display at this years Wednesday club ' Photos of Stuff ' exibition,which will be held in September at the Abram Scout Hut. The event will be sponsored by The Dover Lock public house and Platt Bridge Operatic Society.		OUR ANCESTORS WERE JUST LIKE US Deep in the southern Anatolian forests, now modern day turkey a fascinating glimpse into what is believed to be the earliest recorded minutes from a Wednesday club. Archeologists have only just started to link this ancient cuneiform script with the everyday running of a bygone moot. Mr Terrance Wilburforce-Cringe of the Wigan & Leigh college languages department has gracefully translated much of this forgotten text, so we may understand just what our forbears were up to thousands of years ago. Basically the script reads. MIDDLE OF THE WEEK GATHERING RECORDED BY SALACIOUS REX AGRICULA SINGLES NIGHT WAS A FAILURE AGAIN, WE NEED TO STOP LISTENING TO PONTIUS ANUS. HE ALWAYS COMES UP WITH RUBBISH IDEAS. ALL PEOPLE WANT IS A CHEAP DRINK AND A GAME OF DOMINOS. I OBJECT STRONGLY TIBERIUS REX CLUTTER-BUCK. YOU HAD THAT CRAP NOTION THAT PUNTERS WOULD SEE THE FUNNY SIDE OF COMING IN ON NEW YEARS DAY.* (NOW APRIL 1st IN THE NEW CALENDER).* BLOW IT OUT OF YOUR RECTUM MARCELUS BELCH, YOUR JUST PEEVED THAT YOU ORDERED ALL THOSE OUT OF DATE WOLFS NIPPLE CHIPS.HOW THE BLOODY HELL ARE WE GOING TO SHIFT THAT LITTLE LOT WITH THE KIDS SUMMER HOLIDAYS COMING. HAS ANYONE BOTHERED TO ORDER THE BUFFET FOR THIS PSYCHIC EVENING LURCIO FLAVIUS AQUILA IS SORTING OUT ? LUDICRUS SEXTUS HAS REPORTED WE HAVE A SHORT FALL IN CLUB FUNDS TO PAY THE DEPOSIT TO THE CATERERS. CRISMUS BONUS HAS INFORMED THE COMMITTEE THAT THE LATRINES IN THE CAESAR AUGUSTUS LOUNGE HAVE BEEN OUT OF ORDER FOR OVER A WEEK. BILIOUS AMMONIA HAS BEEN TASKED WITH THE ASSISTANCE OF CLUB COMPARE COMICUS EROTICA TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IT. HOPEFULLY WE CAN AVOID A STINK FOR THE FORTH COMING MURDER MYSTERY AND INDOOR ARCHERY NIGHT. THERE HAS ALSO BEEN SOME ALARMING RUMOURS THAT CLUB FUNDS ARE BEING SIPHONED OFF TO FINANCE SENIOR MEMBERS EXTRAVAGANT LIFESTYLES. THANKFULLY ERICTUS PROSPEROUS MAXIMUS AND POLOMIUS NILOC ASTERIX ARE LOOKING INTO THE CHARGES. HANG ON MR CHAIMAN BLABEROUS GOBUS, ISN'T BROTHER ERICTUS THE ONE UNDER SUSPICION? I WILL KNOCK YOU TEETH DOWN YOUR THROAT YOU LITTLE GRASS JUDUS ISCARIOT ENTWISTLE....! ! ! GO ON... GO ON... Sadly due to weathering on the stone and the conversation deteriorating into a foul mouthed slinging match.That is all that can be read into for the time being.

DISASTER OVERTED Thanks to some quick thinking from our deputy bar manager at the Hindley clubhouse,we were was able to avoid a criminal conviction and possible hefty fine from HM Customs & Excise. When a surprise visit from a plain clothes officer occurred in January of this year, concerns were raised about the possibility that some of the beer had been watered down. Happily Brenda Featherstone brought it to their attention of the investigating agency that the two samples tested were Carling Black Label and Holts Crystal lager. Both brands have long been deemed to be weak alcohol beverages that are an ideal starter drink for tea totals and young children. THE WEDNESDAY CLUB SUPPORT THE PRACTICE OF SENSIBLE DRINKING AT ALL ITS ESTABLISHMENTS THROUGHOUT WIGAN DRINKING GUIDANCE MEN - TEN PINTS / FOUR SHORTS WOMEN - SIX PINTS / TWO WINES CHILDREN - ONE/TWO PINTS / ONE SAMBUCA INFANTS - HALF SHANDY / TWO PINTS CARLING BLACK LABEL OR HOLTS CRYSTAL. WE ONLY USE ACCREDITED BEER MATS AND TOWELS TO MAKE YOUR EVENING A SAFE ONE.		DISCOUNT HAIRCUTS WE HAVE TEAMED UP WITH A LOCAL ITALIAN HAIR STYLISTS TO BRING GREAT SAVINGS FOR GENTLEMEN MEMBERS WHO WANT TO GET A TRIM. WE HAVE NEGOTIATED 20% OFF ALL SHORT BACK & SIDES. BASIN OR BOWL CUTS. EAR & NOSE HAIR. BEARD & MOUSTACHE TRIMMING FAMILY MEMBERS ARE ALSO ENTITLED TO THE SAME GENEROUS OFFER ON PRESENTATION OF CLUB MEMBERSHIP CARD. IF THIS VENTURE IS TAKEN UP WELL, WE ARE HOPING TO EXTEND THE OFFER TO OUR WOMEN MEMBERS AT ENIDS CUT & BLOW EMPORIUM ON GIDLOW LANE. THE WIGAN WEDNESDAY CLUB, WE BELIEVE IN EQUALLY GOOD HAIR STYLES FOR ALL MEMBERS. UNFORTUNATY THE COMMITTEE WAS UNABLE TO IMPLEMENT ANY DISCOUNT FOR TIGHT CURLEY PERMS AND MULLETS, DUE TO LACK OF SUPPORT FROM HEALTH AND SAFETY OFFICER.

WIGAN WEDNESDAY CLUB PHOTOGRAPHIC SOCIETY VIEW OF BILLINGE HILL By Mr Aubery Crumpet Well done Aubery. You have been awarded first prize in this months Landscape section of The Wigan Wednesday Club photographic competition. The judging panel wish to express their sincere heart felt congratulations for this exceptional piece of photographic work. Cafe owner Aubrey Crumpet of Earlestown , Newton Le Willows has revealed to the jury that he was able to achieve such a rich lustrous image with the use of a 400 ISO speed film in his trusted East German Pracktica 35mm SLR camera. Along with his choice of a Zeiss wide angle lens with a fixed focal length set between F4 to F5.5 , his sublime vision was captured perfectly and he feels it produces an other world like essence. Aubery feels he was able to maintain a stable depth of field which draws the viewers eye deeper into the background. A diffuser filter overlaid with a colour stabilising buffer gave him control over tone saturation and helped to enhance and clarify the more subtle limits and increase intensity. Not really sure what all that means Aubery ? But well done all the same. Next months category KITCHEN UTENSILS IN A BAROQUE STYLE		PHANTOM'S OR FAKE'S Our upcoming psychic evening has created a great deal of interest in the supernatural and the unexplained. Our guest speaker at this years keenly anticipated ' Spooktacular Night ' is the acclaimed medium Mr Derek Pakora. This soiree of spectres and apparitions is billed to be a real draw to those who have a fascination about long departed dead things, like Napoleon, Einstein and newspaper for your fish & chips. Derek is encouraging people to send in any images or anecdotes of unfathomable or unexplained origin. The example shown was sent in by a Mr Albert Ross of Cuckoo Lane, Ormskirk. Is this just a negative of a 1960's coach trip to Filey ? Or could it be a remarkable insight into the hidden world of a celestial host in the waiting room of Heaven. You decide ?

PHOTOGRAPHY CLUB AUTUMN GATHERING Landscape and still life cafe owner Aubery Crumpet is thrilled to announce that his traditional Parisian style street bistro has been chosen for the venue of this years Photofest Expo 2015. Ever since his success in this years Wednesday Club photographic competition, tens of people have flocked to his Earlestown studio / breakfast emporium to peruse the winning composition. The committee faced very stiff opposition from various rival bids to stage such a prestigious artistic exibition. Although in the end the balance was tipped in favour of Crumpets with the offer of a Full Monty Olympic breakfast for all committee members. Also there is the added advantage of a police staion across the road should things turn ugly.		ACCLAIMED TRAVEL WRITER JOINS CLUB Locally renowned and respected travel journalist Mr Thomas Crook has finally received his CRB check confirmation and has been issued with his membership card. This self taught Marco Polo adventurer has an erudite writing style all of his own. And a rare ability to whisk the reader away to distant and exotic locations. We on the clubs executive committee wish to welcome Mr Crook on behalf of all the members, and hope that his travel reports will bring an increased interest to our new website. Also Thomas is a champion of the real ale movement. So hopefully he will be able to help the club to shift some of this TEW-ITT Oatmeal Stout before the sell by date.

AGONY AUNT NEW FOR THIS AUTUMN 2015 PLEASE SEE NEWS SECTION FOR DETAILS		SHOPPING MALL VENTURE SEES THE GREEN SHOOTS OF SUCCESS This week saw the opening of the first of many Wednesday Club clothing outlets in a small impoverished third world country. Ex vice under secretary of the Wednesday Club bowls and dominoes team, Mr Colin Vladamir Dallas has invested the money received from the sale of the Golborne branch Lacrosse pitch. This has given sufficient monies to rent and refit a retail unit in a small war torn country. Happy shoppers seemed to be drawn to the numerous bargains in the cleaned and sorted charity clothes section. They seemed to be blissfully unaware that most of the garments had been made locally in sweat shops and prisons for consumption in the prosperous North West of England. The shear piece of brilliance used in re branding and repackaging seems to be paying dividends. It is hoped that this flag ship store will be able to give a good net return before the uneducated customers work it out and we need to re locate.

THE WEDNESDAY CLUB MYSTERY COACH TRIP This years hotly anticipated excursion has been preliminarily penciled in for Wednesday 9th September, leaving Wallgate station at 9.00am prompt. Members wishing to participate in this extremely well attended event are kindly requested to put their names on the list that has been pinned up next to the ladies toilet. This years price is £15.75,which includes. A soft drink with paper straw. Chips,peas and fish bits. And return travel back to Wigan. A small deposit of £5.00 is required to secure a seat on the luxury coach. ( Following a few complaints from last years adventure , the coach being provided will have a fully operational working toilet for both solids and number ones ) Wednesday Club partner D & V Travel are pleased to have been chosen for the auspicious honour of conveying members to a secret destination with a tower and three piers.		COMMITEE ELECTIONS 2020 Dear Members Its that time of year again. And its up to you,the loyal stalwart people of our treasured club to put pen to paper and vote for the person you feel is best suited to lead us forward during these troubled and unpredictable times. The incumbent Chairman Mr Eric Johnson is standing for re-election for the third time running. The ballot will be arranged towards the end of August to allow members to get back from any holidays they may have booked. This will hopefully deliver a good turn out at both polling stations. Candidates so far include Mr Sepp Blatter, Mr Robert Mugabe and Mr Ray French. The closing date for applicants will be Wednesday July 29th, to give the printers sufficient time to draft the ballot papers.

THE WIGAN EYE THE EVER CHANGING SKYLINE OF WIGAN DIE HARD PATRONS OF THE MOON UNDER THE WATER OPERATIC SOCIETY WERE SERVED UP A REAL TREAT THIS WEEK,WHILE MAKING THEIR WAY HOME FROM A PERFORMANCE OF CARMEN AT WIGAN LITTLE THEATRE. THE NEW ATTRACTION HAS MESMERISED YOUNG AND OLD. ONE COUPLE DESCRIBED THE BREATHTAKING VIEWS OF THE UPPER WINDOWS OF THE WETHERSPOONS ALONG WITH THE ROOF TOP OF A NEARBY BANK COMPLETE WITH AIR-CONDITIONING UNITS. ON A VERY CLEAR CRISP DAY THE FLAGPOLE TO THE PARISH CHURCH IS JUST VISIBLE TO THE NORTH WEST. THE ENTERTAINMENT GROUP ' CHEAP & CHEERFUL LTD ' HAVE ERECTED THIS PRE WAR ALBANIAN FERRIS WHEEL AS THE CENTRE PIECE TO THE UP AND COMING CHRISTMAS MARKET YULETIDE CELEBRATIONS. SOME EARLY CONCERNS ABOUT THE CREAKING AND RUMBLING OF THE LIGHTWEIGHT MECCANO TYPE CONSTRUCTION HAVE BEEN DISMISSED BY THE COMPANIES TECHNICAL SPOKESMAN, A MR RANDLE SHART. HE INFORMED CONCERNED PARTIES THIS WAS MERELY DOWN TO SETTLING OF THE WHEEL ONTO STABILISING PALLETS. SO COME DOWN AND JOIN IN ALL THE FUN. AND DON'T FORGET TO BRING YOUR WEDNESDAY CLUB LOYALTY CARD FOR FURTHER DISCOUNTS.		CHRISTMAS MARKETS EXCURSION TO MANCHESTER DECEMBER 2ND 2015 LIST OF MEMBERS ATTENDING ( COACHES TO BE ARRANGED ) ALOYSIUS VAPOUR AUBREY CRUMPET MAFANWY JONES- PROCTOR ELIUS DOWN VERNON TOBIAS CLOUT OLINTHUS STRING OBADIAH CLENCH HUE ARNOUGHT-WRIGHT RANDOLF CULVERT HORACE & VIOLET NETTLE BARNABUS BUTTERCUP BROOM HUMPHREY FAWNOUT ERNEST FOTHERINGALE COLIN DALLAS MILLICENT PLINGE ENRICO Mc LLEWELYN GRIMES BELINDA TRIPE MICHAEL TOMLINSON THOMAS CROOK JOHN BAILEY SHIRLEY KNOTT EVANGELINE WIGGLE LANCE VISERAL ABACROMBIE BLOTCH ERIC JOHNSON VIOLET TRUNDLE VINCENZO FANACKAPAN NORMAN & MARY BILGE GUY PRIDE GWENDALINE CRANK FELIX MIEN TARQUILL BREAM ASSUMPTA SPOUT METHUSALA QUENCH SEYMOUR SEALESS LIONEL STENCH PANDORA FUDGE CLOSING DATE FOR SPACES WILL BE THE 16TH NOVEMBER AT 3.00PM PLEASE GET YOUR NAME DOWN TO AVOID DISAPPOINTMENT

GUESS THE PIE IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN. THE ANNUAL WEDNESDAY CLUB GUESS THE PIE EVENT. HAVE A GOOD LOOK AND USE YOUR VERY BEST SCRUTINY TO GUESS THE FILLINGS OF SAID SAVORY PASTRIES. ALL ANSWERS ON A POST CARD TO THE HINDLEY CLUB HOUSE. GOOD LUCK EVERYONE		WIGAN ALFRESCO DINING BRAND NEW EATING EXPERIENCE THIS YEARS FESTIVE SHOPPERS WERE SPELLBOUND BY THE CONTINENTAL NEW FEEL TO THE MAKINSON ARCADE. LOCAL BAVARIAN CRAFT BAKERS MR & MRS POUNDLAND HAVE INVESTED IN A SWISS STYLE PICNIC TABLE, FOR THE USE AND ENJOYMENT OF ALL THEIR CUSTOMERS. WITH THE UNSEASONABLY MILD NOVEMBER WEATHER, A SUCCULENT SAUSAGE ROLL OR A WATER PASTRY PIE HAVE NEVER TASTED SO GOOD. A SPOKESPERSON FOR THE NORTH WEST PIE SOCIETY CONGRATULATED THIS GROUNDBREAKING INITIATIVE AS A REAL BOOM IN THE PROMOTION OF LOCAL FAST FOOD OUTLETS. MR CLAUDE CREOSOTE EXPRESSED HIS DELIGHT THAT MEMBERS WOULD BE ABLE TO ENJOY A SAVORY TREAT WITHOUT SITTING IN THEIR OWN MOBILITY SCOOTERS, GETTING CRUMBS INSIDE THE TARTAN RAINPROOF COVERS. MISS MONICA MOON OF VISITWIGAN.COM WELCOMED THE SHOPS INSIGHT AND VISION. SHE STRESSED THAT VISITOR NUMBERS TO THE TOWN WOULD SWELL WITH THE RUN UP TO CHRISTMAS, AND THAT A HONEYPOT OF THIS NATURE COULD ONLY INVIGORATE AND BOOST SALES LOCALLY. SHE WENT ON TO SAY THAT STREET FOOD IS ALL THE RAGE NOW IN VIBRANT CITIES AROUND THE WORLD, SO WHY NOT WIGAN.

GABRIELLE THE LEPRECHAUN SPOTTED POT OF GOLD FOUND IN CELLAR SOME DAYS AGO NOW, STAFF AT A LOCAL STORE WERE BUSING THEMSELVES CLEANING AND DUSTING LAST YEARS CARDS AND CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS FOR SALE IN THE FORTHCOMING YULETIDE BARGAIN SECTION. AS THEY WERE MOVING LAST YEARS DISNEY FROZEN MERCHANDISE STAND, TO THEIR UTTER SURPRISE THEY UNCOVERED A TREASURE TROVE OF TINY ITEMS. A SMALL NETTED BAG CONTAINING GOLDEN COINS ALONG WITH A SMALL PIECE OF WOOD LIKE A BRANCH WERE DISCOVERED COVERED IN COBWEBS. LOCAL CELTIC EXPERT MS ASSUMPTA SPOUT OF THE ANTIQUITIES AND OLD STUFF DEPARTMENT AT JOHN RIGBY COLLEGE WAS ALERTED TO THE FIND. THE LEGENDARY ECCENTRIC 89 YEAR OLD CAT LOVING SPINSTER BELIEVES THAT THE TINY TWIG COULD POSSIBLY BE A LEPRECHAUNS SHILLILAGH OR STAFF. THE SMALL COLLECTION OF COINS SHE FEELS COULD BE THE FABLED FAIRY POT OF GOLD THAT LEGEND SPEAKS OF. SADLY THE COINS SEEMED TO START TO MELT UNDER THE WARM STRIP LIGHTS OF THE SHOP, SO WERE REMOVED INSIDE A FREEZER BAG FOR FURTHER TESTS WITHIN THE COLLEGE METALLURGICAL LABORATORIES. WHILST REMOVING THE SMALL ITEMS ONE OF THE STAFF INSISTED THAT HE HAD SEEN A SMALL FACE WITH PIERCING GREEN EYES AND A BEARD PEERING AT HIM FROM BEHIND A DANIEL O'DONNELL DVD FROM LAST SEASONS REDUCED BASKET. MS SPOUT REVEALED TO HIM THAT THIS ENTITLED HIM TO A WISH. SADLY THE YOUNG MANS WISH NEVER TO HAVE TO WORK IN THE SHOP ANYMORE WAS GRANTED. HE AND FOUR OTHER TEMPORARY WORKERS WERE LAID OFF THE FOLLOWING MORNING IN A STAFFING REVIEW. MORAL : DO NOT MESS WITH MAGIC		THE WIGAN WEDNESDAY CROWN GREEN BOWLING EVENT 22ND JULY 2017 THIS ITEM IS BEING UPDATED JUST AS SOON AS OUR TREASURER GETS BACK OFF HIS HOLIDAYS ? ? ?

MR JOSIAH WILBERFORCE WEDNESDAY Members were thrilled to chat with one of the real live legends of The Wigan Wednesday Club this week. The debonair illegitimate great grand nephew of the clubs founding father, Sir Arthur Wednesday. Young Josiah came to play bowls with some of the junior devotees, at this years Crown Green Bowls Tournament in Leigh, Lancashire. He mingled with fellow players getting them to buy him drinks,and chatted away sharing some of his knowledge of this most regal of games,before crashing out in the first round. 1947 pipe smoker of the year and expert ferret wrestler, Josiah Wednesday brought a certain Joie de Vivre to the afternoon proceedings. Once he was able to slip away from his two carers, this sprite old fellow was at liberty to pester anyone he wanted to.